Dreams and Nightmares*

[Piaresssss]

I think you handled it amazingly. When i see my ex i throw up so you already have me beat.

 

But yh i think you smashed it. It refreshing that you went in with just an open heart. No games, no tricks, you just laid it bare and I love that.

 

The back and forth that you mentioned at various points does seem to have a flirty air around it but I myself have zero game so dont take that as gospel.

 

My heart sinks when two people love each other as both of you two do but for whatever reason they are not together. If you had that final puzzle peace it would all fall into place.

 

The reaction the kids had to you. Well that made my heart sing. They clearly love you a great deal.

 

I think backing off is a good move. Dont want to be too much of an eager beaver but at the same time like SuperDave says if you do nothing, nothing changes. So id say let the amazing new improved version of you settle in her mind for a bit then take some action.

 

All in all. You hit all the key points. Didnt over step and lets not forget, you are the prize here.

 

I must agree with Sputnik this was a great update to read and has brought a smile to my face.

 

I look forward to future developments.

[Makeit]

My blunt opinion here is that she knows exactlty how you feel. She knows how much you want her back. From my experience is that this is a bit of a turn iff for them. Im not trying to be grumpy here or a downer but From reading how things went I dont know man. Be careful brother. Youre right back where you were. The wounds are fresh. I hope I am wrong but I dont know. My humble opinion is to cut contact now. Youve got to get her to make some type of attempt first next. I just sense she is trying to keep you at bay for whatever reason. Im sure shes enjoying the attention but for what reason?

[Silverbirch]

Yes, I don't want to be a total downer and think all you guys sound like great catches, but I think she knows too. When I came here first, I also went to a site by a guy named Al Turtle, and he gave advice about how to do low contact and get them interested. My exes have all come back - for unhealthy and/selfish reasons, and by then I didn't want them, but I think there are other ways to get her interested and it will take time.

 

http://www.alturtle.com

[SweetGirl28]

Yes, I don't want to be a total downer and think all you guys sound like great catches, but I think she knows too. When I came here first, I also went to a site by a guy named Al Turtle, and he gave advice about how to do low contact and get them interested. My exes have all come back - for unhealthy and/selfish reasons, and by then I didn't want them, but I think there are other ways to get her interested and it will take time.

 

http://www.alturtle.com

 

Hey, any secrets on how to feel that intense attraction to someone new? Lol

I swear my friends are right. I'm gonna grow old and die alone with my cats, haha.

I'm starting to think the last ex was the last intense physical and emotional connection I'm gonna have.

Whyyyyyy is this so hard???? Went on a date today that most women would kill for. Great conversation,

fun, I didn't feel the excitement and butterflies :( I hate my ex for dumping meeeeeee lol

I dismiss way too many men for this reason, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

If anyone knows how to overlook that feeling I seek and let the other attraction be enough, tell me.

Ok, sorry Carus, I'm sorry for high jacking your thread!!

[Carus]

I have to agree with Makeit. She's just not into it anymore...

 

Thanks for the link Silverbirch. I'll have a quick look. Al Turtle has certainly been around for a while and I see he's still answering posts on his site there...

 

But I think after tomorrow with the son and possibly forever I will walk with the saying 'Love you but not IN love with you' ringing in my ears... That might change in the future but there's not much I can do about it.

 

If you have 20 mins, this guy is pretty out there, but was part of my inspiration for yesterday..>>

 

I also sympathize with Piaresss. Two people who shared so much and still have a lot of love for each other, STILL can't be together!

 

It's sad....But she's always going to know now that she walked away from a Man who loved her no matter what and would have given her the world.

 

That can be haunting as life goes on*

 

Be good to yourselves.

 

Carus*

[Carus]

That's totally fine SweetGirl*. We may as well use this thread for other useful purposes now :)

 

I'm in the same boat.

 

I'll never find that same connection with someone else but I will find A connection, of that I'm fairly sure....

 

The girls in my life that I've had great love with have always just come along when I was just living my life...I've never had any luck with dating sites or dating as such.

 

So perhaps that is the answer?

 

Also, I don't think you're as over your ex as you tell yourself and believe me, I know how damn frustrating that is!

 

We all here love the SweetGirl we know so I'm sure some lucky guy will come to you eventually.

 

Believe it. Put it out there. Believe it*

 

C*

[SweetGirl28]

That's totally fine SweetGirl*. We may as well use this thread for other useful purposes now :)

 

I'm in the same boat.

 

I'll never find that same connection with someone else but I will find A connection, of that I'm fairly sure....

 

The girls in my life that I've had great love with have always just come along when I was just living my life...I've never had any luck with dating sites or dating as such.

 

So perhaps that is the answer?

 

Also, I don't think you're as over your ex as you tell yourself and believe me, I know how damn frustrating that is!

 

We all here love the SweetGirl we know so I'm sure some lucky guy will come to you eventually.

 

Believe it. Put it out there. Believe it*

 

C*

 

Awwww shoot, now I'm crying! :(

 

Idk what's wrong with me. Yeah, you know I met him when I wasn't looking at all.

It just happened. But I blocked him a couple weeks ago. I'm no one's demotion to FWB. So it's my fault?

No. It isn't. Right? I'm worth more than that to someone I freaking loved. I can find a boy toy easy and distract

myself though, the younger guys are quite appealing to me, though I prefer older lol. I'm back to angry again.

 

I'm sorry, let's sleep this crap off together, lol. Tomorrow is a new day. It sounds like you're giving up a bit.

You've done all you can, said all you could, it's in your hands, but not in your hands. So sad things can slip

right through our fingers even with the best of intentions. (((Hugs))) xxxxx

[Carus]

If you're crying then that obviously needed to come out*

 

My dear SweetGirl* I've been trying to 'give up' for some months now! I will get there...

 

As for this round, yes I feel I've done all I can and I feel good that I let her know that I love her and miss her.

 

She is now the one who will have to live with that for the rest of her days*

 

Sleep well Bella* I'll be watching over you x

 

Carus*

[SweetGirl28]

If you're crying then that obviously needed to come out*

 

My dear SweetGirl* I've been trying to 'give up' for some months now! I will get there...

 

As for this round, yes I feel I've done all I can and I feel good that I let her know that I love her and miss her.

 

She is now the one who will have to live with that for the rest of her days*

 

Sleep well Bella* I'll be watching over you x

 

Carus*

 

It did need to come out. Well, looks like your ex, mine, Piaressss's and sputnik's exe's all let go of those

who loved them :) Here's to letting every emotion surface, bubble over, produce tears, then pick ourselves

up and get past it.......again. I hate when I cry, my eyes swell lol. Crying harder now.

 

"Bella" >>>>> you know Italian! I like it!

 

I'll be keeping watching over you to, and praying you find your peace within very soon sweetie.

[Silverbirch]

Hey, any secrets on how to feel that intense attraction to someone new? Lol

I swear my friends are right. I'm gonna grow old and die alone with my cats, haha.

I'm starting to think the last ex was the last intense physical and emotional connection I'm gonna have.

Whyyyyyy is this so hard???? Went on a date today that most women would kill for. Great conversation,

fun, I didn't feel the excitement and butterflies :( I hate my ex for dumping meeeeeee lol

I dismiss way too many men for this reason, ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

If anyone knows how to overlook that feeling I seek and let the other attraction be enough, tell me.

Ok, sorry Carus, I'm sorry for high jacking your thread!!

 

 

TBH Sweetgirl, I have thought that after nearly every breakup, and then somehow I've met someone who I'm very attracted. I'm on a dry spell ATM. I've had people interested in me, but I don't reciprocate - not yet anyway. Part of the reason though us that I dragged on a very long breakup mostly because last ex was one I was most physically attracted to in my whole life. He was a good-looking dude.

 

I've got other stuff I need to be focusing on right now - work and making money, and I don't feel open to it just yet.

[Silverbirch]

I have to agree with Makeit. She's just not into it anymore...

 

Thanks for the link Silverbirch. I'll have a quick look. Al Turtle has certainly been around for a while and I see he's still answering posts on his site there...

 

But I think after tomorrow with the son and possibly forever I will walk with the saying 'Love you but not IN love with you' ringing in my ears... That might change in the future but there's not much I can do about it.

 

If you have 20 mins, this guy is pretty out there, but was part of my inspiration for yesterday..>>

 

I also sympathize with Piaresss. Two people who shared so much and still have a lot of love for each other, STILL can't be together!

 

It's sad....But she's always going to know now that she walked away from a Man who loved her no matter what and would have given her the world.

 

That can be haunting as life goes on*

 

Be good to yourselves.

 

Carus*

 

 

Hugs and thanks Carus. I have to go back to work for a while, but I will check that out later. Xx

[chattygirl]

Oh man...Carus and SweetGirl, you both have me all choked up now!

 

Carus, I admire that you went all in, spoke your mind and heart. It was a very brave and loving thing to do. It may not yield the outcome you ultimately hope for, but no one can say you didn't give your all. Hell, if some people gave even HALF of what you've given, many relationships wouldn't fall apart.

 

I wish you much peace and love.

[Carus]

That's very nice of you to say ChattyGirl*. Thankyou. x

 

C*

[Makeit]

Carus brother Im in the same boat as u. I doubt ill connect with anyone bettter then my x but who knows? I think whats important now is we get our power back. I am doing better. Im expecting a setback but maybe not. Its been hard nosed NC for me for almost 2 weeks now. Im doing.......better.

 

You never know tho maybe she will come to her senses but shes never going to knowing how crazy u r for her. In time. Maybe a long time she might come to miss what u brung to the table. But ur not giving her a chance to.

 

The balance of life my friend. We rode a lot of highs with our xs for many years. Constant highs. The balance brings us down. It may be for awhile but remember the balance will work both ways. We will be back on that high again. Who knows maybe not even with another girl but just with our lives.

 

I think its good what youre doing. And have done. It was what you wanted and that is power in itself. Guys like you and me deserve better. And I like to think we will get our due reward in someway shape form and time. Maybe in a way our minds cant even comprehend.

 

If youre like me you just want to relive the years with them again and again and over and over. But nothing Good leaves. It may not make sense now but one day it might. Balance of life my friend. We can get thru this.

[sputnik123]

Good morning my brother,

 

I hope you got yourself a good sleep.

 

If nothing else, there are 2 massive positives to take from the last 24 hours;

 

1./ She knows exactly how you feel. There are no pretences or games involved. If she does eventually decide to walk away from this forever (still massively in question), then you know you couldn't have done anything more. I truly believe that. You have gone above and beyond here Carus, I know you have. She now really needs to put herself out there for this to have a chance. You have breathed life into it.

 

2./ You have saved yourself at least 3 months! Time is so precious buddy and biting the bullet yesterday fast-forwarded the process no end. There is no doubt there would have been much waiting and procrastinating over this, not knowing for sure what to do for the best. You saved yourself from all that. We are all so proud of you, but crucially, you can be proud of yourself.

 

I hope you are having a lovely day and that the sun is shining on you.

 

S x

[Carus]

Makeit* Thanks for your kind post. I really feel for you mate*

In time. Maybe a long time she might come to miss what u brung to the table. But ur not giving her a chance to

This^^

 

C*

[Carus]

Dear Sputnik* So lucky to have you*

I hope you got yourself a good sleep

Not bad. Mornings are still crushing me so I need to find something to combat that... It really is one sticking point in my healing now.

If nothing else, there are 2 massive positives to take from the last 24 hours;

 

1./ She knows exactly how you feel. There are no pretences or games involved. If she does eventually decide to walk away from this forever (still massively in question), them you know you couldn't have done anything more. I truly believe that. You have gone above and beyond here Carus, I believe you have. She now really needs to put herself out there for this to have a chance. You have breathed life into it.

Ah my friend. The eternal optimist :)

 

But to be honest, you are right. We just don't know...but as Makeit has said, I need to move on now and let time and space do whatever it's gonna do.

 

As skeptical as I am I still do have the Shamans voice in the back of my head where she said she was going to come back and try and fix it in the next 4-6 months....

 

If anything, I think we can agree that I've at least set it up ok if that were to ever happen.

2./ You have saved yourself at least 3 months! Time is so precious buddy and biting the bullet yesterday fast-forwarded the process no end. There is no doubt there would have been much waiting and procrastinating over this, not knowing for sure what to do for the best. You saved yourself from all that. We are all so proud of you, but crucially, you can be proud of yourself.

You may be in pain right now and you don't give yourself enough credit brother, but this^ is brilliantly written!

 

You've tapped into a big reason why I did what I did yesterday

 

I was watching a video by Dan Bacon. I agree with SOME of his stuff....

 

He was talking about guys mainly who go into NC hoping their ex is going to miss them enough and come running back....

 

And in the short term that will most probably happen. But you saw what happened to me right?

 

He then says that as time goes by the poor guy can really drive himself into a hole and full blown depression...and I feel that's what was happening to me.

 

So again, thanks for writing that brilliant post. Made me feel better reading it*

 

I really suggest you go back and watch that last vid I posted. It also shows where I am at the moment. And the guy is pretty entertaining :)

 

Hope you're having an ok day*

 

Carus*

[Morello]

Hi Carus, eventful weekend for you mate!

 

I think you did what you had to do. I think the 'illusion of action' is an actual thing, but at some point you have to assess what the NC is actually doing to you. If it's just making things worse, you need to change the strategy as you did.

 

Hope is a powerful and sometimes dangerous thing. It can motivate you to become better and meet your ex at 'higher ground' but it can also get you pretty stuck. It appears that the hope was not doing you any good. I think her pulling your arm away can be used to kill some of the hope that you had left. To me it shows she's definitely not in it at the moment. At least not for romantic reconciliation. It could change tomorrow. It could change in a few months. It could never change. No one knows that, not even herself.

 

You may see in the future that this will be a turning point and this is probably the time when you actually start to move on from this. It's hard to move on when you're waiting for a call, a message from her saying she wants you back. Realistically, you may find now that it's unlikely to happen in the next weeks or even months - although you obviously know her personality better than we all do.

 

You'll probably heal much faster now. It worked for me. Although very different situations and circumstances, but after about 2.5 months of NC, I bumped into my ex and she said a friendly Hi and seemed open to talk again, just to ignore an email I sent some hours later. It hurt A LOT, especially when I got to know some dating 'gurus' that would say it was the worst thing I could do to get her back. Breaking NC and letting her know I cared and wanted to be in touch.

 

Not sure if things would be different for me if I hadn't reached out but this helped me heal much faster. I acknowledged that the reconciliation was just something that my mind kept unrealistically alive. For a few days and even weeks I still thought she would reply the email saying something like "sorry I didn't reply earlier, didn't really know what to say" or something like that. But it never came. After some time, the hope got a last shot in the head and after a few more weeks getting over the fact that reconciliation wouldn't happen, I'm feeling better than ever after the break up. Still have terrible days, like in the thread I opened, but most days are ok and some days are amazing.

 

Like you, I've been watching videos and reading a lot about dating/relationships/break ups. As you may agree, there is no winning strategy.

 

You could've gone complete NC after the break up, and could've had a different outcome. Or maybe not. But the problem with this strategy is the regret further down the track. If you choose the CW pathway (leaving and never looking back), it puts you in a very powerful position. But if your ex never contacts you, in a few years later you could find yourself thinking about the what ifs. Even worse, you can get stuck in hope for quite a long time.

 

With the strategy you chose, regret is much more unlikely. Yeah you can think later on that if you didn't open up yourself to her she might have felt more attracted and started pursuing you. But in LTRs where actual love is involved, it is about more than that, isn't it? I think you never acted desperate or anything so I have a strong opinion that if she had any interest in reconciliation you would've known it by now.

 

Craig Kenneth says when your ex wants you back, they ALWAYS find a way to reach out to you. I find it hard to believe though. How many times we've seen cases where a person wants to say something to another and never does? How many sons wanted to apologise or forgive their parents and never did? Only to know now they're dead and that choice is not even possible anymore? How many people were really interested in another and never said anything? How many friends never reunited for being too scared to take action? happens a lot... So you can at least rest assured this won't happen to you. It will be a good feeling in the long run, trust me. It's incredibly liberating and for some of us, even more powerful than just NC and walking away for good.

 

My suggestion for what's next goes aligned with what the others said. I think you should leave the scene after you meet her son for the last time. It looks like she may still be processing what you told her (or maybe she knew already and that was her way to not reply to it at that moment). If she ever changes her mind, she'll let you know. At least now you can rest assured. I think what was killing you was thinking she didn't know how you felt. Now she does, for the better or worse.

[Silverbirch]

Hey Carus, I watched a couple of Ralph's videos. At first, I thought OMG, this is one of those people selling an expensive package and isn't for real, but I kept with it and really liked him. I was able to take some of his ideas and relate to my relationships with friends, neighbours, colleagues and work managers, and Im going to watch more. Thank you.

[SweetGirl28]

TBH Sweetgirl, I have thought that after nearly every breakup, and then somehow I've met someone who I'm very attracted. I'm on a dry spell ATM. I've had people interested in me, but I don't reciprocate - not yet anyway. Part of the reason though us that I dragged on a very long breakup mostly because last ex was one I was most physically attracted to in my whole life. He was a good-looking dude.

 

I've got other stuff I need to be focusing on right now - work and making money, and I don't feel open to it just yet.

 

Hi, thanks for your words, and sharing them.

The thing is I feel ready. But I have something preventing me from feeling anything.

It's been almost 7 months, haven't seen him in 4 1/2, and last contact 3 or so weeks ago led me to

block him, so wth????

I am good at being friends, but as far as seeing men as someone I want to be with sexually and emotionally,

I have a hard time. I had a terrible nights sleep, and I was thinking that I may be unconsciously sabotaging

new men because I don't want to be hurt anymore. Like it forces me to find a reason to not be attracted.

Or, I just really am not attracted. But let's face it, there's no way it's all these men, so the issue has to be me :(

I'm going to stop looking and let it come when it comes, like it did with every ex I had. I was never looking.

[Carus]

Hello ENA Family* ~ That was a loooong 12 hour shift at work and I'm totally exhausted...But wanted to reply to some great posts here before zzzzz....

 

Surprisingly I haven't had a meltdown after yesterday. I didn't know if I would or not and although I still wake up in the mornings with thoughts noone should have, I haven't.

 

In fact though, I just feel numb. Like I'm existing in a void. I go through the day on autopilot but go through it I must.

 

The pain in my chest is quite dull now so the wound must be healing....and I think it does have something to do with yesterday and putting all else aside and just throwing my last cards on the table...which the great Morello* touches on in that last post:

I think you did what you had to do. I think the 'illusion of action' is an actual thing, but at some point you have to assess what the NC is actually doing to you. If it's just making things worse, you need to change the strategy as you did.

Totally agree and that is what was happening to me I think....I was just not moving along much at all and the pain was getting heavier to carry everyday...

Hope is a powerful and sometimes dangerous thing. It can motivate you to become better and meet your ex at 'higher ground' but it can also get you pretty stuck.

Yes, hope in life is a necessity but when it comes to lost love, it can definitely become a hindrance...This is where Acceptance is so important.

You may see in the future that this will be a turning point and this is probably the time when you actually start to move on from this. It's hard to move on when you're waiting for a call, a message from her saying she wants you back. Realistically, you may find now that it's unlikely to happen in the next weeks or even months - although you obviously know her personality better than we all do.

I'll go with months....I think this breakup has definitely run it's course now....For all I said after yesterdays meetup and for whatever 'love' there is still there, it remains quite clear to me that she has moved on now.....So I wouldn't expect anything further from her for a long time now, if ever.

 

That may sound a little morbid but hey, I never hear from any of my other exes so I don't see why it will be any different this time around. This is how it goes in my life. Maybe it's the type of girls I go out with...

 

It still stings a little to think about the very short space of time between her crying and saying "I'm terrified" to now just moved on, but it is what it is.

You'll probably heal much faster now. It worked for me.

 

With the strategy you chose, regret is much more unlikely.

Totally my friend...You've all followed my story from the start....How could I possibly have any regrets...?

 

And yes as I mentioned above^, perhaps another few meltdowns may come....but perhaps not...?

 

So far, so good....So we will see.....

 

Right now though I'm so tired I couldn't muster a meltdown even if I wanted too....*

My suggestion for what's next goes aligned with what the others said. I think you should leave the scene after you meet her son for the last time. It looks like she may still be processing what you told her (or maybe she knew already and that was her way to not reply to it at that moment). If she ever changes her mind, she'll let you know. At least now you can rest assured. I think what was killing you was thinking she didn't know how you felt. Now she does, for the better or worse.

That was definitely starting to eat me up and I feel quite a lot of relief after yesterday as you say, for better or for worse....

 

Yes, just gotta get through tomorrow with my youngest stepson because I promised him I would. I want them both to know if they ever really need me, they know where to find me...And then it is time to mount my horse, tip my hat, and ride into the sunset*

 

I'm sure they'll be fine...All of them*

Hey Carus, I watched a couple of Ralph's videos. At first, I thought OMG, this is one of those people selling an expensive package and isn't for real, but I kept with it and really liked him. I was able to take some of his ideas and relate to my relationships with friends, neighbours, colleagues and work managers, and Im going to watch more. Thank you.

Yes, his style of presenting is pretty unique, but once you tune in to what he is saying...well, it resonates with me right now.

 

It's quite an anomaly that the different coaches and videos have come along at different stage of this journey away from the fire. I think I've watched just about all of them on YT now and they have all helped tremendously at each stage....

 

And now it's Ralphs turn...Can I get a 'Helllllllo'... :)

It's been almost 7 months, haven't seen him in 4 1/2, and last contact 3 or so weeks ago led me to

block him, so wth????

Hmm, no wonder it's still fresh for you....and no wonder you tell me to sleep with one eye open....You're doin' great though SweetGirl*, really....x

Or, I just really am not attracted. But let's face it, there's no way it's all these men, so the issue has to be me.

I'm going to stop looking and let it come when it comes, like it did with every ex I had. I was never looking.

That is great self reflection...Doesn't mean there's anything 'wrong' with you. Just means there's a little more polishing to be done....And diamonds need polishing x

 

Perhaps a time will come where we need to get more proactive about finding someone, but again, I've found it always just comes along when the time is right.

 

What is meant to be with you, will be with you*

 

All for now. I'll write up again tomorrow night after hanging with my stepson. It will be ok. He needs me so I will do it....No agenda at all this time....

 

A work colleague noticed how worn down I was looking tonight and asked me how things were going. He is from Pakistan and such a gentle and caring man.

 

I told him about me and also where she is at and he said "So this is taking 2 lives"....

 

I just looked at him and said "Yes...."

 

Love to you all.

Carus*

[Silverbirch]

Hi, thanks for your words, and sharing them.

The thing is I feel ready. But I have something preventing me from feeling anything.

It's been almost 7 months, haven't seen him in 4 1/2, and last contact 3 or so weeks ago led me to

block him, so wth????

I am good at being friends, but as far as seeing men as someone I want to be with sexually and emotionally,

I have a hard time. I had a terrible nights sleep, and I was thinking that I may be unconsciously sabotaging

new men because I don't want to be hurt anymore. Like it forces me to find a reason to not be attracted.

Or, I just really am not attracted. But let's face it, there's no way it's all these men, so the issue has to be me :(

I'm going to stop looking and let it come when it comes, like it did with every ex I had. I was never looking.

 

Well 7 months is not that long in the scheme of things at all. I'm like you, I'm not looking and definitely wasn't in my last relationship. Also, I've gotten a lot fussier, and that rules out a lot of men.

[sputnik123]

Dear Sputnik* So lucky to have you*

 

Not bad. Mornings are still crushing me so I need to find something to combat that... It really is one sticking point in my healing now.

 

Ah my friend. The eternal optimist :)

 

But to be honest, you are right. We just don't know...but as Makeit has said, I need to move on now and let time and space do whatever it's gonna do.

 

As skeptical as I am I still do have the Shamans voice in the back of my head where she said she was going to come back and try and fix it in the next 4-6 months....

 

If anything, I think we can agree that I've at least set it up ok if that were to ever happen.

 

You may be in pain right now and you don't give yourself enough credit brother, but this^ is brilliantly written!

 

You've tapped into a big reason why I did what I did yesterday

 

I was watching a video by Dan Bacon. I agree with SOME of his stuff....

 

He was talking about guys mainly who go into NC hoping their ex is going to miss them enough and come running back....

 

And in the short term that will most probably happen. But you saw what happened to me right?

 

He then says that as time goes by the poor guy can really drive himself into a hole and full blown depression...and I feel that's what was happening to me.

 

So again, thanks for writing that brilliant post. Made me feel better reading it*

 

I really suggest you go back and watch that last vid I posted. It also shows where I am at the moment. And the guy is pretty entertaining :)

 

Hope you're having an ok day*

 

Carus*

 

Hey brother,

 

I hope you had a good day. There must be a great deal on your mind.

 

How about a jog or swim first thing when you wake? really starting your day getting the juices flowing and energised.. also really is a good way to process all your thoughts and plans for the day/ week ahead. Could get you in a more positive mood, for what is to come. Whenever I have exercised I really so feel more upbeat straight afterwards. Starting the day like this could improve the mindset, on a consistent basis?

 

Longer-term, no-one knows what will happen (let her do some of the "lifting" next, if that is what is to happen)... but I stand by what I say - you WILL be genuinely happy sooner than you think right now.

 

I watched Dan's video... some of it makes sense, but there are contradictions. I can definitely see how it would inspire you to reach out though. The first speaker from England I have heard on all of these though? lol

 

Let's see what tomorrow brings ... the son's clearly adore you, that must be a massive "pro" for her.

 

Time to furnish my journal. Been an emotional week.

 

I hope you have some peaceful rest.

 

S x

[SweetGirl28]

Well 7 months is not that long in the scheme of things at all. I'm like you, I'm not looking and definitely wasn't in my last relationship. Also, I've gotten a lot fussier, and that rules out a lot of men.

 

I'm fussy also. When I was in my twenties everything seemed so easy. Now, I am like ughhhhhh!!!

I guess I've learned everything I want, and I won't budge. I've been through too much to budge though hahaha

[SweetGirl28]

Dearest Carus, thank you, love you lots, have a great time with your stepson tomorrow!