mustlovedogs Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 She just sent another msg "Baby I am putting the phone on silent we have meeting all day kisses" And is that bad or good? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydrama1 Posted November 15, 2017 Author Share Posted November 15, 2017 And is that bad or good? I say it's good. She don't have to send these. Someone mentioned she's trying to keep the relationship going without causeing drama. I think so too thats what shes doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydrama1 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Last night I slept with someone! From the same city i was born in England. I know you're gonna hate me for saying that but I did. My girl in long distance is NOT nice to me. I feel a lot of anger towards her. I don't want to be in this position where she has the choice to contact me whenever she wants. Last night she calls me after 2 days silence and speaks to me as I owe her something. She expects me to drive 4 hours to only see her for 1 hour in LA. There is no balance in this relationship. She thinks she can just do whatever she wants and I am gonna stick around. She deosn't talk to me with love. Even the tone of her voice is like someone who'se been in a bad marriage for 10 years! No! I am not happy. I am not happy that we are long distance. This wasn't my choice and now, to be honest, I am getting cold! No one deserves to be treated this way! Woman LOVE me. They are intrested in things I have to say. I noticed last night how much love this new woman gave me! She said you are the best thing that happened to me here in this trip I really needed to feel someon elike you around me. In the past my girl told me she has this weird sick daemon inside of her that does NOT want me to be happy without her so she causes drama! Just because you're hot, doesn't mean you can treat me this way! I honestly don't care anymore if you're a hot super model looking babe! That doesn;t give you permission to bully me! We are supposed to be on the same side! I lost a lot of confidence in this relationship and turned to a wussbag. I try to be loving and understanding that she has so much work to do and is under pressure and be super nice and supporting. But anytime I tell her I am happy, and can't wait to see you again, she disapears and gets cold. I feel like she wants me to be miserable without her! I know my negative emotions are red flags. But I feel them now and I am angry! I make mistakes sometimes. I don't want to feel these emotions. I am getting cold. She is surrounded by guys who want her and she is extremely flirty. She doesn't make me feel safe! She can, but she doesn't! I didn't want to be in this position and I am surprisingly losing interest! The point of this post is....FINE! I messed up in the past. But right now, it's not all about you! You gotta keep your man happy as well! By ignoring me, talking down on me and being cold, guess what, there are other women who are very intrested in me. I'd do anything for you if I feel your love. And the funny thing is.... I can't even talk to ehr about her bad attitude! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Just break up with her, OP. You're obviously not happy, and now you've gone and slept with someone else. This relationship is now over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydrama1 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Just break up with her, OP. You're obviously not happy, and now you've gone and slept with someone else. This relationship is now over. Only if it was that easy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firelily Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Soo... you're jealous that she doesn't give you enough attention and that it means she will find herself someone else, but you are allowed to sleep with other women because they are "nice to you"? Of course new women will be nice to you, no women is grumpy on the first date, and all the women stop being nice 100% of the time at some point of the relationship. There's no point comparing. If you don't feel loved here break up with her. Right now you're just breaking the heart of the girl, who is waiting for you, who's working very hard but still wants to have some time to you, who ended up in a hospital because that's how much she's emotionally engaged in your relationship, but you won't break up with her or be faithful to her for just a couple of weeks more?... Pretty soon we're gonna host your ex girlfriend on this forum, describing the whole situation from her perspective. This relationship would be totally salvageable if you were just insecure, but you're also a jerk. You're hurting her in a way that you would never like to be hurt yourself. Right now I'd say you need to be single for some time to work on yourself. Also I wonder if you have issues with emotional instability, since you go so quick from love to hate and act very dramatic and insecure. Maybe a therapy and/or medication would be a better way to you to build happy relationships. Because right now the problem is definitely not mostly with your girlfriend, however she treats you. If you won't address your own issues, your next few relationships will feel just as shaky as this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydrama1 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Firelily... Today she asked how I'm doing. I told her "Hey baby I'm good. Happy in peace miss you more than ever. How about you?". And still 17 hours later nothing! What the hell is this? Is she testing me? Is she mad at me? Is she not happy that I am happy and peaceful? I'm giving her space but she's giving me nothing back as soon as she hears I'm happy and peaceful! Her behavior is hard to understand. I'm doing what you said I do in regard to communication but it just doesn't seem to work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firelily Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Your behavior is much more hard to understand than hers... The next time she asks you how you're doing, respond to her: "I'm sleeping with other girls because they said nice things to me, while you're giving me 90% of your free time in your extremely busy time of life, the time you could be texting your friends who miss you or some nice guys who would actually be faithful to you". I'm sorry but you're not a boyfriend material right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydrama1 Posted November 16, 2017 Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 Hello This is not a competition between me and her. I don't do this to get back at her. I do this because I'm very hurt weak and venerable right now and this like drugs for me. She's told me a few things I the last I can't share here. Things that made me so insecure about it. You can always have 30 seconds to write to someone you love: "sorry busy day ttyl xo". That took 5 seconds to type. Not sure what I'm missing here : ( ---- One she told me " I don't want u to be happy without me"... It's like she does not like the fact I find peace without her. It's very dark but that's how it is. We deal with hard times in our own way. I'm not sitting on top of the world partying. I do this because I'm dying from pain. She doesn't wanna hear I'm hurting. Can't tell her. Her mums sick. Family in reassure. I pushed her away by worrying and telling her I miss her and need her too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 OP, you're in no place to be in a committed relationship right now. Not with this woman, anyway. It's over in all but name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 She is trying go hold own Job. Do you want her to be Jobless? stop or you will send her on a breakdown Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydrama1 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 Guys thank you for your support. I learned quite a lot. I came here because I needed support. I got some and I really appreciate it. I know I made mistakes. I am not having it easy. I'd never been in this situation and I feel terrible. You remember yourself struggling in the past? Ther eis no excuse for the way I act. At the same time, she could have made things easier for us but she really didn't put any effort. She just left and does what is good for her not even considering I might need some support as well. I am not asking for much! Cutting me like that is what keeps her going, me getting close to other women is what keeps me going. If we are supposed to only think about ourselves then there is no relationship. Without communication and coming to terms together with love, things can go really bad. You know it... What I want to learn from you guys here is how to be cool, calm and chill and not freak out even if I don't hear for a week. Poster "firelily" really helped! Thank you. The transition was just too quick. We didn't have an agreement to do it this way. Otherwise I'd be much more relaxed. I want to get rid of the doubt and believe I am just being silly having doubts but honestly, sending 3 words in 24 hours is not a hard thing to do and not too much to expect. Anyone can do it. I know I made mistakes, please support me and don't put me down. I feel terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydrama1 Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 You don't need to do much. You don't have to cut contact or force it. Just give the power to her. See how often she contacts you herself and keep that frequency yourself. That action, of being calm and grateful for her talking with you on her terms, says "I understand your need to focus on work" better than any emotional message doesn't seem to like it if I tell her I am doing well! This is not that strange to be honest. She told me in the past! That makes her angry and she feels insecure that I found peace without her! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firelily Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I know you're hurting and I'm sorry for you, but you're hurting her even more. I don't have any advice to give anymore. I wished you both luck and patience till this intense time in her life is over, but now you've ended this relationship by your own choice. She deserves better than to be with someone who cheats on her, driven by insecurity - the last thing you would like her to do to you. So now I wish you both a calm transition into being single, because you're in no shape to be in a relationship if you're capable of hurting someone that way. Break up and take care of yourself, because the love that you have to offer right now is too painful to receive if you were to be honest with her. She will be better off with having more peace in her life, and you'll be better off working on your insecurities first before entering a relationship with someone build on mutual respect and trust. What you have right now with this girl is destructive to you both. And it's unsalvageable now after your decision to cheat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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