I've screwed up big time. (insulting a girl and her knowing im inexperienced)

[mustlovedogs]

I agree and the game is up after i do that. That's when I'll move on. When i see her in real life rather than determining whether its over via text. Maybe she was just mad in that moment and wants me to feel it. She seemed really interested in me.

 

You're delusional. Talking to her before she initiates anything will NOT help your case at all. I can't imagine how you can come back from all these screw ups.

[Pleasedonot5]

OP,

 

Why are you here? For validation? You have everyone on this thread telling you the same thing. And some of us here almost never agree with each other!

 

STOP. For the love of God, you are making yourself look so insecure. Just leave it be. She's the second girl who has shown you some affection. There are others out there who will be interested (more so when you fix your insecurities), so you need to move on from this failed situation. That's what you should be focusing on.

 

 

Look, what you did wasn't the absolute worst thing in the world. This girl is probably confident enough in her kissing not to be affected by you. She's just not interested. Accept that, and accept that no additional apologizing will help you "win her over" -- it will just make you look more desperate.

[10023711]

So I ended up running into her at the bar. She's with her frat date. As soon as she seen me, she held her arms open and gave me a hug. I said "sorry for being a douchebag". She said "no, i'm fine". She then mentioned how she's eating a jello shot etc and we talk for like 20 seconds. I then say "cool, well i'll see you around".

 

 

I'm guessing she either is not that interested, she is toying with me, or she's over it and is interested. I'm guessing not interested.

[10023711]

*actually I got her attention, then she hugged me.

[Jibralta]

I’d go with she is NOT interested, but is a decent, compassionate person who is willing to understand your situation despite the way that you judged her.

[10023711]

I’d go with she is NOT interested, but is a decent, compassionate person who is willing to understand your situation despite the way that you judged her.

 

Just curious, what makes it sound like shes not interested?

[Unreasonable]

Just curious, what makes it sound like shes not interested?

I would take going back to her jello shots within 20 seconds of you talking to her as a strong hint.

[10023711]

I would take going back to her jello shots within 20 seconds of you talking to her as a strong hint.

 

She mentioned that the bar has jelloshots just to make conversation and how she's eating one. Thats when i comment on it and leave. All of this happens within like 20-30 seconds. I dont understand how mentioning jelloshots shows not being interested in someone.

 

 

I based her not being interested on her not texting back after I apologized via text...

[mustlovedogs]

Why do you keep asking why we think she's not interested? YOU even list it as an option.

[10023711]

Why do you keep asking why we think she's not interested? YOU even list it as an option.

 

I want to know why others think what they think. The commenter above listed a reason completely different from mine, which i dont agree with

 

You kept telling me there was no way to recover and how im delusional, but it turns out i didnt completely sink the ship after all. Thats why theres never hurt in trying. Each situation in real life is different and cant really be generalized completely.

[Jibralta]

Just curious, what makes it sound like shes not interested?

 

Most people aren’t interested in dating people who judge them, objectify them, and then insult them. Of course, there are always exceptions.

[10023711]

Most people aren’t interested in dating people who judge them, objectify them, and then insult them. Of course, there are always exceptions.

 

Lol i didnt try to objectify her. It was a very very bad joke and i sincerely apologized. She knows im not actually like that and that alcohol played a part. How did i objectify her lol? I agree what i said was insulting, and i would never normally say it. I originally took it as a tease. This place seems to be riddled with old farts and their pitch forks. Shes actually really smart. She knows people make mistakes and that i was under the influence. Ive apologized. I was just ed up in that moment

[mustlovedogs]

I want to know why others think what they think. The commenter above listed a reason completely different from mine, which i dont agree with

 

You kept telling me there was no way to recover and how im delusional, but it turns out i didnt completely sink the ship after all. Thats why theres never hurt in trying. Each situation in real life is different and cant really be generalized completely.

 

She's being polite. She was on a date. Right? So what should she have done?

[10023711]

She's being polite. She was on a date. Right? So what should she have done?

 

I understood that she could have just been polite. She did initiate a hug and tried to further conversation.

 

Mentally im taking it that shes not interested, but i know theres a good possibility that she still is. Im just going to let her be the one to make a move when she sees me in real life.

[abitbroken]

You don't need "dating experience" to know how to be kind to people. If someone has never had a girlfriend but has been able to maintain friendships, they have all the experience they need to start dating. I would absolutely leave her alone forever. Just learn for next time. And avoid meeting women while you are drunk, too.

[reinventmyself]

. She knows im not actually like that and that alcohol played a part. How did i objectify her lol?

 

How does she know you are not like that??

Look. . you've done all you can do.

 

Just remember, easy girls can be smart ones too.

[10023711]

You don't need "dating experience" to know how to be kind to people. If someone has never had a girlfriend but has been able to maintain friendships, they have all the experience they need to start dating. I would absolutely leave her alone forever. Just learn for next time. And avoid meeting women while you are drunk, too.

 

For f*cks sake. You guys are just labeling me at this point. I know how to be nice to people. My friends actually comment on how nice i am. Ive made one mistake that even i can see as stupid. I just have diagnosed social anxiety/general anxiety so ive been trying to get better at talking to people. If she's interested at some point why leave her alone forever? That makes no sense. I think you guys just want to gang up on me and hate the fact that she's forgiving for what i said.

[10023711]

How does she know you are not like that??

Look. . you've done all you can do.

 

Just remember, easy girls can be smart ones too.

 

She knows im not like that from our interactions. I literally cant remember saying anything like that to anyone before. I took bad advice. I dont get why you mentioned her being easy and smart? Are you saying i thought she was dumb? Because i never did. I mentioned her being promiscuous because it may be a turn off that im not experienced. Thats literally the ONLY reason why ive mentioned it. People then twisted it to fit their own narrative, as you've just done.

[reinventmyself]

She knows im not like that from our interactions. I literally cant remember saying anything like that to anyone before. I took bad advice. I dont get why you mentioned her being easy and smart? Are you saying i thought she was dumb? Because i never did. I mentioned her being promiscuous because it may be a turn off that im not experienced. Thats literally the ONLY reason why ive mentioned it. People then twisted it to fit their own narrative, as you've just done.

 

She's smart enough to know you are looking to get laid and smart enough to know it takes more than a cheesy line to do it.

Had no one mentioned she was promiscuous, would you have approached her differently?

No doubt you'll argue this. . so at this point, I'll ask -

What is it you want from her?

[reinventmyself]

I want to know why others think what they think. The commenter above listed a reason completely different from mine, which i dont agree with

You seem to want feedback and hate it at the same time.

[10023711]

You seem to want feedback and hate it at the same time.

 

Thats taken completely out of context. She wanted to know why i wanted opinions, if i agree that she may not be interested. I said others may have opinions that differ from my own.

[10023711]

She's smart enough to know you are looking to get laid and smart enough to know it takes more than a cheesy line to do it.

Had no one mentioned she was promiscuous, would you have approached her differently?

No doubt you'll argue this. . so at this point, I'll ask -

What is it you want from her?

 

I didnt know she was promiscuous until AFTER about 2 weeks. Ive known her for like a month. But i did tell her the night of meeting that she "she should come back with me".

[MissCanuck]

Just curious, what makes it sound like shes not interested?

 

She was on a date and it wasn't with you.

[10023711]

She was on a date and it wasn't with you.

 

I didnt ask her out. And girls go on fraternity dates all of the time. It could be friendly. They have them every week.

[akrngrl]

She was on a date and it wasn't with you.

 

I second this.

 

The term “promiscuous” is often tied to other terms like “easy” etc. Perhaps you just meant that she was more experienced than you are.

 

Regardless, I’ve had men make all sorts of comments to me (insulting or not), which have turned me off to them. That doesn’t mean I’m going to give them the cold shoulder if I see them or that I would tear them a new one necessarily. I’d do the same thing she did. I’m in no way interested, but I can still be friendly and nice.