Unreasonable Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 The only way we're going to be able to help you here is if we talk to your wife, since you won't. How would we know what's going to work with her? They only thing we know is what you've told us. I've heard the facts, based on those facts, I have a recommendation. You won't do it. So I think, unless you want to get your wife on here so we can ask her what you won't, this is a dead end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffreyO Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 I'm being told to break her culture and damage our relationship out of disrespect and to do something I don't enjoy doing... this is not a constructive line of conversation. Seriously, she's not you... that's what we need to look at. When we see a partner we don't see us, we see someone else. That's what I have here, someone else and that's what I have to deal with. No, I'm not going to divorce her over a lack of sex. What is wrong with you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unreasonable Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 Lots of people have done things they don't particularly enjoy doing to please their partners. I couldn't count on two hands the things I do for my wife I don't particularly enjoy to keep her happy, and not just in the bedroom. Recommending you do do the same is absolutely constructive. And don't worry, you won't hear another word from me because I'm starting to suspect we're being trolled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I'm being told to break her culture and damage our relationship out of disrespect and to do something I don't enjoy doing... this is not a constructive line of conversation. It won't "break her culture". And talking about sex isn't disrespectful. You aren't going to fix this any other way. It's not like you are trying to renew the spark... it was never there. You can't seduce her. You can't suggest trying new things. You can't figure out what she likes or what she doesn't like. You can't experiment. You can't do anything unless you talk. Talking about sex is hard. But having a sexless marriage is harder. You say you don't know how long porn will fill your needs? So how soon is this marriage just you paying for her life and having sex with others on the side? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffreyO Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 It won't "break her culture". And talking about sex isn't disrespectful. You aren't going to fix this any other way. It's not like you are trying to renew the spark... it was never there. You can't seduce her. You can't suggest trying new things. You can't figure out what she likes or what she doesn't like. You can't experiment. You can't do anything unless you talk. Talking about sex is hard. But having a sexless marriage is harder. You say you don't know how long porn will fill your needs? So how soon is this marriage just you paying for her life and having sex with others on the side? So clearly you haven't met many Thai people. good luck with trying that. I lived there for a few years, I would think i'd know SOMETHING about the culture... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosephase Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 So clearly you haven't met many Thai people. good luck with trying that. I lived there for a few years, I would think i'd know SOMETHING about the culture... I'm tapping out. But I wanted to say: You lived in Thailand for years. How can you not see how strong, vital and embedded that culture is? Cultures don't break. Cultures only slowly shift or wear away. She is an adult. Talking about sex won't break her culture. It won't break her. You are using her culture as a way to get out of a conversation you don't want to have. Because it's hard. Because you don't want to. Because it makes her uncomfortable. But talking is all you've got. You NEED to be able to talk about sex. Or you need to accept the way your relationship functions and give up on having a fulfilling sex life. A lot of people do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffreyO Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 I'm tapping out. But I wanted to say: You lived in Thailand for years. How can you not see how strong, vital and embedded that culture is? Cultures don't break. Cultures only slowly shift or wear away. She is an adult. Talking about sex won't break her culture. It won't break her. You are using her culture as a way to get out of a conversation you don't want to have. Because it's hard. Because you don't want to. Because it makes her uncomfortable. But talking is all you've got. You NEED to be able to talk about sex. Or you need to accept the way your relationship functions and give up on having a fulfilling sex life. A lot of people do. But my question isn't about their culture and clearly not meant for you. I appreciate your attempt to assist but even your pic on this forum shows your openness, I'm dealing with someone who is more closed. You don't NEED to talk about sex, it's just helpful. Not all cultures are built the same as ours in the US. I NEED to build our future around her culture and mine in a way that works. Either way, there's love there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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