How do I deal with the next year?

[rubys]

My boyfriend and i decided to part ways a month ago. We’d lived together for a few years, but he works as a freelance musician. This meant he’s constantly travelling all over the country and more recently, all over the world. We realised we could not continue on this path, as I have a mortgage, steady job, family nearby, and want to have children in the not too distant future. He feels like he can’t move to the next stage of his life until he’s got a full time orchestral job.

 

The problem is, a job has just come up in my city recently. It was unexpected as there are so few orchestral jobs, especially locally. It’ll take about a year to appoint someone, as with all orchestral jobs. They trial different people over a good few months, and narrow it down as they go.

 

All of a sudden, there’s a possibility that our futures could align again! There’s about a 1 in 8 chance he’ll get the job, but I know I can’t cling on hoping for a year, as I’ll just waste a year of my life. And if he’s not got the job at the end of it, he’ll be back off on international tours again which I cannot cope with on a permanent basis.

 

How do I ‘move on’ knowing that there’s the possibility he MAY be back in a year?

[DancingFool]

His passion and job do not align with your lifestyle and goals and never will. This possibility of a position with the local orchestra is kind of a red herring. What I mean is that orchestras typically still do tours and ultimately, he isn't just going to spend his life in that particular orchestra. It can shut down, get downsized just like anything, he might get an amazing offer and opportunity somewhere else and because this is his passion in addition to being his job, he'll pull up stakes and go. If he gets tied down and ends up having to take up a "regular" job in order to pay the mortgage and stay in the area.....the very essence of what you love about him will die off. It's just not a workable situation given your disparate lifestyles and nothing is really going to change with that.

[pippy longstocking]

I would forget about all the ifs and buts that are going to keep you trapped for a year and continue ahead as a single woman starting again . Who knows what the universe has in store for you .