Caesium Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 Any comments would be greatly appreciated,Thanks. ------------------------------- Aching Everything you said to me Never made much sense to me But i never thought to disagree As you are what makes me breathe Ever since that crushing day When i laid you down to stay That was my worst day as you left me to decay Nothing ever goes my way I don't think i'll ever be okay I try hard to get over you But i seriously wanna be with you Someday i hope i'll get through Even though it's hard without you Everynight i lay to pray Asking him to take my soul away Just so i can sit around with you Just so my heart will be true I never thought id feel this way But now life seems okay They've opend my eyes and made me realise Nobody ever really dies ------------------------------- Crush She stands accross the street from me Sun glazing in her eyes. I don't know if she's realised im there I cant help myself,I just have to stare For i dont't dare tell her how i feel To see her smile is like being born again For i want this to never end The way she walks from A to B Makes me go weak in the knees I don't know her as much as i should But im attracted to her like no-one ever could Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mysterious Gurl Posted April 18, 2005 Share Posted April 18, 2005 wow! I read both poems! They were great! I love the 'Crush' one. That was beautiful. very well written! Can I keep them? Miya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caesium Posted April 18, 2005 Author Share Posted April 18, 2005 thanks alot!! , yea you can keep them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mysterious Gurl Posted April 20, 2005 Share Posted April 20, 2005 aww nice one! cheers! Miya Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caesium Posted May 15, 2005 Author Share Posted May 15, 2005 No problemo, im just glad u liked them. Would some other people leave comments aswell, bad or good i aperreciate it all thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted May 16, 2005 Share Posted May 16, 2005 I liked Crush better. The first one had too much rhyme. It took away from the poem, to me atleast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sam_i-am Posted May 17, 2005 Share Posted May 17, 2005 I really like the poem crush it is to the point keep up the work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caesium Posted May 17, 2005 Author Share Posted May 17, 2005 Thanks for all ur feedback guys. Yea i prefer the crush aswell, because i wrote it about a girl, and the other 1 i didnt write about ne1,if that made sense lol! so crush came more from the heart in a way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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