harrison5686 Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 It has never been the most perfect marriage we first met we knew each other for three days then I was put to the hospital in the burn unit and he never left my side since that day . we have gone through a lot and yes he cheated on me ,hurt me emotionally and physically but i’m not the kind of person that gives up on someone or marriage and this is my first by the way I feel as though through those years even with everything that has happened that has affected me is negative way but I’m not saying that he hasn’t been good at times he has he has provided and works hard but what brings us to today as he feels no affection from me apparently and I guess my terms of affection are different I think of little things I tell him I love him anything he needs I to try to do granite I am a working wife and I get tired apparently I’m not the best cuddler I don’t choose to wear enough lingerie for him and it sometimes when I get home from work I’m just tired and I’ve never been that person to wear a lot of Lingerie he states I should just do it for him because I know he loves it and he’s right but some days I just don’t want to and honestly that is most the time most of it’s uncomfortable he constantly looks at other women comments tells me how he could get anyone he wants how stupid I am a blonde I am how I don’t understand things ever from where I see he says he has a big heart and I see he does but he gives everyone the heart sites me when he stressed I get all blowback anger resentment and every time he brings it on himself by excepting more problems into his life with her BS family or other people that have issues that need help but it still bring some more stress and puts it on her so I only feel that most of what’s happening is because he puts too much on him and yet he calls it his big heart but left in the back burner as me I don’t know what to do I don’t know how to handle this and I’m scared. One other thing I am rub his back when he’s lying in bed at night I do cuddle him but he doesn’t remember and every time he brings it up I tell him I do but he says no I don’t I can’t help that when I fall asleep I move at night feels like to cuddle you have to stay in one position the entire night and we can’t move unfortunately I don’t get comfortable in one position and order for me to sleep I have to move that was for earlier comments but still goes to say I am lost and don’t know what to do or how to feel I just feel like I have no one anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harrison5686 Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 I feel as though because he gives everyone his heart and helps everyone before me feel resentment and then anger and maybe that’s why he doesn’t feel the affection I don’t know why but I feel like I’m just the last ones in his mind every day when he’s my firstI just don’t know how to get over the hurt and now I don’t think there will ever be that chance to be honest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanZee Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 I'm sorry you are going through this. Your marriage has broken down and you're probably suffering from depression as well. You say he hurt you emotionally and physically. It sounds like abuse to me. He's completely dominating you and he shows all the typical signs of abusing you such as demeaning you, directing anger at you when none of this is your fault, and criticizing the smallest things and cheating on you. Google the term emotional abuse and you'll read about everything you're going through. The anger, insults and the cheating are all to break you down, to get you to accept him treating you terribly, and to keep you coming back for more. Him acting good to other people is just another way to make you think that if you can only follow his rules that he will treat you better. But he never will. He will make up new rules to follow or accuse you of things you never did. It's all done to control you. I don't even know if he really loved you or whether he saw you as someone he could easily bend to his will. You have to get out before you're totally lost. You have to leave and divorce him before you're totally trapped and will never be able to escape. You're a warm, loving person and you deserve to be with someone who will value that and show you that in return. It's even better to be alone than to suffer through all this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 It could be that he found a damsel in distress when he met you and he got something out of portraying the image of a hero. He has cheated on you and is not nice to you. He will always find a reason why you are not to his liking. And did you say he physically hurt you? I highly recommend you seek counseling. he found someone he thinks he can keep under his thumb and if you have a job - income coming in, i would get out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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