lucia031 Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 My ex and I broke up 3 months ago because he cheated on me. During that 3 months we always remained in contact but in the last 3 weeks we started hanging out regularly and doing all the things we did when we were together. Last weekend he was texting me how much he missed and loved me, however, he wasn't ready for a relationship with my at the moment. I still held on hope and we texted throughout this week. On Saturday I saw that a girl tagged him in a picture and my heart sank. I asked him about it and he said "sometimes these things just happen". I was so upset that I kept texting him all day asking him how he could get over me and move on in 5 days (prob shouldn't have done this but whatever). His responses were cold. He said that on Saturday things changed with him and the girl and that they are together now. Even though he told me over and over again that he didn't want a relationship. It hurts so bad to see him with someone else. And I feel almost betrayed that we were just together last weekend and now he's completely changed. If anyone has ever gone through something similar, any advice would help. How do you cope with your ex being with someone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clio Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 My ex and I broke up 3 months ago because he cheated on me. Past behaviour is indication of future behaviour. He CHEATED on you. That is pretty much proof that he got over you a long time ago. Any nice words afterwards were just words. His getting together with this new girl is in line with his cheating behaviour. He has shown you what he is capable of doing to you if you ever gave him a second chance. Now you need to believe his actions. You dodged a bullet. Now you need to accept who he really is. Remember. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. The truth is in his actions. Getting back with a cheater was a mistake. You lost nobody special. Make sure that you learn the lesson so as not to repeat it. And bless your guardian angel that you are no longer with a cheater. It will get better in time but you need to accept his true nature, block all communication and move on. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 Remember why you broke up in the first place - he is a cheater and therefore a liar and a cold hearted selfish poor excuse of a human being, aka a total loser. Then you block him, delete him, get rid of whatever you have around that reminds you of him. Then you lean on your friends and family to help you move on, make new friends, start going out and doing things you didn't have time for while you were wasting your life on a cheating loser, go explore new things, new hobbies, etc. You deserve better and he doesn't deserve to be with you. He is not good enough and never was and never will be. Believe it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nutbrownhare Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 It hurts so bad to see him with someone else. And I feel almost betrayed that we were just together last weekend and now he's completely changed. If anyone has ever gone through something similar, any advice would help. How do you cope with your ex being with someone else? Ouch! I went through this years ago, and for three months it was the first thing I thought about when I woke up every morning. There's no getting away from it - it hurts, and will do for a while. You can speed up the process by having a really, really good cry to get it out of your system, and also by cutting off all contact with him. By that I mean proper NC - no calls, messages, no social media - nothing that will bring you in contact with him. If you do, it will stop you moving on in the same way that the last three months have done. At the same time, live your life the best you can. Do nice things for yourself, surround yourself with people who really care about you and just get through one day at a time. There WILL come a time when you realise you have escaped rekindling a relationship with a guy who cheats, and then strung you along for three months. Only not just yet. (((HUGS))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 I think this is a case of, you can't see the forest for the trees. I can certainly understand your pain at this point, but as time goes by you'll likely see this as a bullet dodged. Keep in mind that if he does come back, the grand prize will be a guy who cheats on his girlfriend/girlfriends. Choose wisely... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBC2000 Posted October 17, 2017 Share Posted October 17, 2017 So sorry you are going through this and I know it hurts. I have had a guy do the same exact thing to me, but the girl he left me for dumped him for another girl literally 2 months into the relationship. He tried to fix this with me, but by that time I had already moved on from him. The first step to healing is to remove him from your social media, there is no need to torture yourself looking at his photos with his new girl. Cry as much as you need to because you are human. delete his number. Do not start dating around until you are ready. Hang out with your friends more. You can also always talk to the people on this blog if you need to. And most importantly, remember that you deserve better than this fool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucia031 Posted October 18, 2017 Author Share Posted October 18, 2017 Thanks, everyone. I guess what bothers me the most is the feeling that I am not and will never be enough. I have only been in three long term relationships and each guy has cheated on me and ended up happy afterwards. So, in a way, I guess its more than just the current situation. I also have also been comparing myself to the girl, which isn't healthy. I have his number blocked and haven't contacted him since our last text. I just wish it wasn't so hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No1 Posted October 19, 2017 Share Posted October 19, 2017 My ex and I broke up 3 months ago because he cheated on me. During that 3 months we always remained in contact but in the last 3 weeks we started hanging out regularly and doing all the things we did when we were together. Last weekend he was texting me how much he missed and loved me, however, he wasn't ready for a relationship with my at the moment. I still held on hope and we texted throughout this week. On Saturday I saw that a girl tagged him in a picture and my heart sank. I asked him about it and he said "sometimes these things just happen". I was so upset that I kept texting him all day asking him how he could get over me and move on in 5 days (prob shouldn't have done this but whatever). His responses were cold. He said that on Saturday things changed with him and the girl and that they are together now. Even though he told me over and over again that he didn't want a relationship. It hurts so bad to see him with someone else. And I feel almost betrayed that we were just together last weekend and now he's completely changed. If anyone has ever gone through something similar, any advice would help. How do you cope with your ex being with someone else? This is a valuable life's lesson you just learned. You learned what people say to soften the blow of a break up. You learned how an X stays in contact with you so they can ease their guilt, and you learned that "sometimes these things just happen" When someone says "I dont want to date anyone now, I cant see myself with anyone else, I want to take time for myself" These are lines and mean nothing. People say these things to an X because it softens the blow of the break up. It makes it sound like Its not you, its me. It attempts to minimize the break up and by giving a little bit of light and hope that if I am not dating you, then I dont want to date anyone else, then you can feel that there is a chance. You learned that he absolutely wanted to date someone else. He cheated on you, he played your heart and knew very well you would be there. I dont know if he was your first, but he kept in contact with you because he cheated and he needed to ease his guilt for doing it. Knowing that you were okay helped him. Also, you remained in contact which meant that you almost forgave him for it. And you are wondering why or how he got over you so quickly. Answer is.. he was over you long before the break up happened. The relationship was over when he started flirting with another girl because in his mind. He was going to cheat and have sex and that effectively sabotaged the relationship. You learned a few things, but you are not alone, it has happened to millions of people and just think, today a new crop of people will go thru the same thing today. But question is.. have you learned? Truth is that you dont need him, this is the best thing to happen to you because now you have room in your life for someone better. I would never talk to this guy again. Work on you, make yourself happy and let life handle the rest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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