Feeling A Bit Shallow Today. :(

[pippy longstocking]

I haven't read all replies , but I DON'T think you should waste another moment of his time . Simple .

 

Now I have read some replies ....all these excuses ...all deep and analysing and working out that it's not the scars it's the fear of the date and blah blah blah blah ....why does it always have to be some deep sh1t .....she is put off by his acne scars ....the end .

[Cope]

It doesn't matter if you are shallow or not; if this goes deeper than just a turn off. You had a connection with the guy, when was the last time you felt that? You don't owe him anything, but you sure owe yourself another date with him to explore the connection. Does it really have to end up in a relationship guys? Come on! No one's leading anyone on. Both are attracted to each other for one reason or another, the worst thing that can happen is to have a nice night out!

[Batya33]

I don't think you lead him on in the least. I've had long convos with people at singles events and decided later it was a no go - and vice versa. I would give it a few dates and if you are still repulsed then part ways. No judgment on the "shallow" part! I wonder if he's thought of getting plastic surgery, etc but of course you can't ask him that! I agree that that kind of connection is elusive so it's worth giving it a shot.

 

I also would try to shift the mindset from "just broke up" - you went on a handful of dates with that guy and you even had time before the last date where you already had had enough of him - I'm concerned that if you go with "oh I have a recent ex" in that kind of brief dating experience that you'll use it as an excuse not to connect.

 

Good for you for going to the event!

[katrina1980]

@Batya, "broke up," stopped seeing other, not dating anymore, the words I used aren't relevant; I was dating a man for awhile (a little over a month) and am not anymore.

 

I do NOT consider him an "ex."

 

Nor do I consider all the other men I dated for a short time this year or last ex's.

 

My "ex" was the man I had a six year relationship with and that relationship ended in in Dec. 2015.

 

I haven't even mentioned it to him. The topic of ex's never came up, we were having too much fun laughing, bantering and and just having a good time.

 

I only mentioned that other guy here to show that whatever "issues" Cc suggested I had that were preventing me from accepting a date with this new man, I didn't experience with that other man. I thought that was clear.

 

Cc commented that other man didn't capture my attention like this man. I don't know if that's true or not, I only just met this other man, it's too early to say.

 

I have decided to go out with hm; I responded back last night and our date is Thursday.

 

To all who responded, thanks for your help and insight.

[HeartGoesOn]

Thread closed per member request.