Heartbroken.. Seeking advice to help me move on?

[Helpmesavethis]

Hahaha, Same here, I am feeling like an idiot because I thought He won't dare to loose a girl like me. Mine was checking my fingers and talking about marriage less than 4 weeks ago. It is so wierd and I am deeply hurt. He said we can be friends and he does not want to lead me on. I told him I don't want to be his friends and we never had anything. So I have been staying NC for the past 5days.

 

Mine would ask me when I was going to meet him at the courthouse to get married.... Nothing will amaze me what people are doing/have done at this point after reading everyone's stories. So many out there that have no conscience or respect for others feelings. Welcome to our thread. Good job keeping NC. It's very hard but what it takes to get thru this. It'll get easier but it takes time... Stay strong!

[Thainara]

Why the heck do I panic sometimes when I think that I'll never have him again in my life? Why can't we just grieve and let it go? I think it says so much about my self-steem right? I mean I put my life and happiness on his hands and he let me down. I think it has more to do with my own issues than with loving and missing him. I think when I met him I was very insecure and too needy because of my past and I saw him as my "savior".

I'm beating up myself right now because I broke NC yesterday... I sent him an email justifying why I blocked him on whatsapp 2 weeks ago... but I didn't sound like crawling or something. I just said I didn't mean to be rude but I strongly sensed he didn't want to be in touch so I blocked him to make things easier for him and I ended saying good things were happening in my life and I hoped him to be happy.

Here's what he responded:

"Hi Marcia.

 

Sorry for the delayed response, I was in San Jose at a trade show for a few days.

 

That’s ok, I was more worried about how you were doing because of the hurricane! Did you home get flooded? Is everything ok there?

 

I’m happy to hear that things are better for you! Keep visualizing! Please do fill me in on your good news!

 

I hope you are also happy, well, and thriving..."

 

He was not emotional but I was not either... I just keep wondering if he misses me and if we still have a chance...

[Thainara]

The Worst Thing You Can Do When He Won't Commit

 

 

You're the one who really has tried everything to get him to come around and fully commit. You're the one who's given him more than enough time to come around and finally make the commitment . A beautiful woman is upset that her boyfriend won't give her the commitment she wants.You know exactly who you are.

 

You're the one who really has tried everything to get him to come around and fully commit. You're the one who's given him more than enough time to come around and finally make the commitment that would make everything perfect.

 

And now you know all that's left to do is accept that he just isn't there, isn't on the same page you are, and let him go. Except for one thing. You simply can't imagine just letting him go and moving on with your life.

 

You'd love to be able to just say "next", but that's just not you.

 

Because you're you. And because you're you – that beautiful, soft, loving, forgiving, understanding, compassionate, helpful, giving, caring, hopeful you – is exactly why you're about to do the very worst thing you could do.

 

You blame yourself.

 

You start thinking you were too pushy, too naggy, too demanding, too impatient, too sensitive, too insecure, too anxious, too needy.

 

You beat yourself up, you berate yourself, telling yourself if you had only done things differently, you would be together.

 

You keep going back and second guessing yourself, admonishing yourself that if only you had done this, or if only you hadn't done that. If only you hadn't said that. If only you hadn't gone there. If only, if only, if only.

 

Until finally, you convince yourself that this is really all your fault, that you simply aren't enough for him, that there is something wrong with you. I know that's what you're thinking because that's what I always thought too. Well, I have one thing to say to you:

 

You’re wrong.

 

This isn't about you. This isn't about anything you did wrong, or any regrets about what you should or could have done differently. There are two points you need to understand here.

 

1. It always takes two people to make a relationship work – and both parties have to want the same thing and be on the same page when it comes to commitment.

 

2. You cannot change a guy who won't commit to you just by you loving him more or catering more to his needs. If he won't commit, it's not your fault!

 

But we blame ourselves anyway.

 

It doesn't matter what anyone says to us. We have such a hard time believing that we're not somehow responsible for the way things are (read: for why he won't commit to you).

 

And so our downward spiral begins.

 

With our self-esteem and confidence already at an all-time low just by being with someone like this for as long as we are, we fall to all new levels of low.

 

We try to get him to see what we see.

 

We call. We leave messages. We text. We send letters. We email. We drive by. We knock on his door. We go to his work. We send flowers.We get on airplanes/trains/buses/boats. We talk. We cry. We beg. And with every realization of the futility of our efforts, we sink lower and lower into that pit of despair.

 

Until finally, one day, someone reminds us of who we really are.

 

You're not this. This isn't you. This isn't your fault. This isn't about you. This is about him. There isn't anything you could have done differently that could have made this work. Whether it's timing, or work, or life, or whatever, this is his issue.

 

Analyzing it and second-guessing it and trying to figure out why so you can fix it isn't going to make a difference. You deserve a real relationship with someone who wants to be with you, who wants the same things you want, who will commit to you and pursue you because a committed relationship is what he wants! That's what you deserve!

 

But what about him?

 

I know. You still have hope. We always do.

 

What if he comes around? If he does, I can guarantee you'll be the first to know.

 

But don't wait.

 

Live. This is your life. This is about you. It's in the living that you find the strength and the courage to begin anew this journey to find yourself and that special someone who is looking for you, too. It's not in the waiting.

 

It's not in looking back on what could have been if only you were something different than who you are. If only you knew then what you know now. Things like this always happen for a reason, even if we can't see it when we're in the thick of it.

 

The irony about all of this is that we have to be willing to refuse to accept anything less than we deserve if we are to find what we do deserve. But in the meantime, this blaming ourselves, this unloving treatment of ourselves like this, it has to stop.

 

Because you, my beautiful friend, are so much more than this. You are worth so much more than this. You deserve so much more than this. I know this about you.

 

It's time for you to believe it, too.

[Helpmesavethis]

Why the heck do I panic sometimes when I think that I'll never have him again in my life? Why can't we just grieve and let it go? I think it says so much about my self-steem right? I mean I put my life and happiness on his hands and he let me down. I think it has more to do with my own issues than with loving and missing him. I think when I met him I was very insecure and too needy because of my past and I saw him as my "savior".

I'm beating up myself right now because I broke NC yesterday... I sent him an email justifying why I blocked him on whatsapp 2 weeks ago... but I didn't sound like crawling or something. I just said I didn't mean to be rude but I strongly sensed he didn't want to be in touch so I blocked him to make things easier for him and I ended saying good things were happening in my life and I hoped him to be happy.

Here's what he responded:

"Hi Marcia.

 

Sorry for the delayed response, I was in San Jose at a trade show for a few days.

 

That’s ok, I was more worried about how you were doing because of the hurricane! Did you home get flooded? Is everything ok there?

 

I’m happy to hear that things are better for you! Keep visualizing! Please do fill me in on your good news!

 

I hope you are also happy, well, and thriving..."

 

He was not emotional but I was not either... I just keep wondering if he misses me and if we still have a chance...

 

You're going to be fine. With or without him. You lived without him before, you can and will live without him again. You have to get your mind straight. So yourself down and have a heart to heart and make yourself start taking the steps. I think you've done some things but if you're still in this big of a funk, you have to get out of it ASAP... I also think once you go back to Brazil things will start looking up.

We all break sometimes. It's ok. Is it good for your healing and moving on, no, but it's ok. He was nice. He asked questions so wants you to reply.... Hmm.. if he didn't want to talk to you at all, he would have just said he was fine or whatever... Hmm.... Hard to read into it especially since we don't know him. Did you reply to him?

[Pto29538]

Why the heck do I panic sometimes when I think that I'll never have him again in my life? Why can't we just grieve and let it go? I think it says so much about my self-steem right? I mean I put my life and happiness on his hands and he let me down. I think it has more to do with my own issues than with loving and missing him. I think when I met him I was very insecure and too needy because of my past and I saw him as my "savior".

I'm beating up myself right now because I broke NC yesterday... I sent him an email justifying why I blocked him on whatsapp 2 weeks ago... but I didn't sound like crawling or something. I just said I didn't mean to be rude but I strongly sensed he didn't want to be in touch so I blocked him to make things easier for him and I ended saying good things were happening in my life and I hoped him to be happy.

Here's what he responded:

"Hi Marcia.

 

Sorry for the delayed response, I was in San Jose at a trade show for a few days.

 

That’s ok, I was more worried about how you were doing because of the hurricane! Did you home get flooded? Is everything ok there?

 

I’m happy to hear that things are better for you! Keep visualizing! Please do fill me in on your good news!

 

I hope you are also happy, well, and thriving..."

 

He was not emotional but I was not either... I just keep wondering if he misses me and if we still have a chance...

 

No one can answer that for sure only him. NC is the best for healing but we have all broken that rule . And sometimes the pain is too much so we do it just to give us some moment of relief. He did send you a lovely message back and seems to think a lot of you so even if he isn't able to be in a relationship with you he thinks you are a great person . So that is a positive for you . You don't want to get into the cycle of messages over and back if it is going no where . However if you need this for now I completely understand and have been there. I do hope if it's best for you that you do manage to reconcile . In any case you were fine before him and you will be again . You have also healed before from the pain of a breakup and you will again and you are probably more strong this time even if it doesn't feel like this now

[Thainara]

You're going to be fine. With or without him. You lived without him before, you can and will live without him again. You have to get your mind straight. So yourself down and have a heart to heart and make yourself start taking the steps. I think you've done some things but if you're still in this big of a funk, you have to get out of it ASAP... I also think once you go back to Brazil things will start looking up.

We all break sometimes. It's ok. Is it good for your healing and moving on, no, but it's ok. He was nice. He asked questions so wants you to reply.... Hmm.. if he didn't want to talk to you at all, he would have just said he was fine or whatever... Hmm.... Hard to read into it especially since we don't know him. Did you reply to him?

 

Yes, I did reply with a short note, sounding natural and positive... I made up something about a "new job" as he knew I didn't like my job. And ended up saying that I would keep my promise when I get rich with a project I'm investing here... I'll explain: I'm developing a web app and when I talked to him 3 weeks ago, he asked about this project and after filling him in I told him I still haven't decided about the name for the app. So he started giving many suggestions and we laughed a lot because some of them were very funny. This day we chatted back and for for around 40 min and in the end I told him that probably I would use of his suggestions and would pay royalties to him and he responded: don't worry about that, if you get rich with that, take me to Hawaii.. And I said "Deal"... that's what I mean when I end the email yesterday saying I would keep my promise.

Well, every time we talked towards the end of our relationship, he always said the same: I love you, I miss you but I'm still married and you are 2000 miles away. Maybe he's suffering too... who knows.

[Thainara]

No one can answer that for sure only him. NC is the best for healing but we have all broken that rule . And sometimes the pain is too much so we do it just to give us some moment of relief. He did send you a lovely message back and seems to think a lot of you so even if he isn't able to be in a relationship with you he thinks you are a great person . So that is a positive for you . You don't want to get into the cycle of messages over and back if it is going no where . However if you need this for now I completely understand and have been there. I do hope if it's best for you that you do manage to reconcile . In any case you were fine before him and you will be again . You have also healed before from the pain of a breakup and you will again and you are probably more strong this time even if it doesn't feel like this now

 

I guess everybody here would like to reconcile but there's no much I can do... it's up to him. Sometimes I feel like telling him that I miss him and stuff, but I read on internet that this will push him away even more. That I have to sound happy and positive and never talk about the break-up or ask to reconcile. Well, he was the one who said he was not ready to get into a relationship right now, however he was the one who started making plans and rushed in things. So I guess if he changes his mind, he has to chase me right?

[Pto29538]

I guess everybody here would like to reconcile but there's no much I can do... it's up to him. Sometimes I feel like telling him that I miss him and stuff, but I read on internet that this will push him away even more. That I have to sound happy and positive and never talk about the break-up or ask to reconcile. Well, he was the one who said he was not ready to get into a relationship right now, however he was the one who started making plans and rushed in things. So I guess if he changes his mind, he has to chase me right?

 

yes I think if you bombard any man with messages of wanting to reconcile and how much you miss them then you may drive them further away . However if you continue to message over and back continually for months while you hide the pain you are feeling then you aren't been true to yourself or moving on . In time if you do want to know either way about a reconciliation then you need to ask him straight out . There is ways to phrase the conversation without sounding like you aren't living your life without him and need him desperately . Yes you can also wait and hope he will change his mind and come back to you but you don't want to waste your life hoping and waiting for that day . If it's not going to work then it's best to get closure and move on than just waiting and hoping for something that may not happen . I've stayed in touch with exes far too long hoping they would change their mind . They were happy to still stay in emotional contact with me but in hindsight I wish I had asked them straight out if we would get back together and then have cut them loose and grieved for them , that's only from my experience,

[Thainara]

yes I think if you bombard any man with messages of wanting to reconcile and how much you miss them then you may drive them further away . However if you continue to message over and back continually for months while you hide the pain you are feeling then you aren't been true to yourself or moving on . In time if you do want to know either way about a reconciliation then you need to ask him straight out . There is ways to phrase the conversation without sounding like you aren't living your life without him and need him desperately . Yes you can also wait and hope he will change his mind and come back to you but you don't want to waste your life hoping and waiting for that day . If it's not going to work then it's best to get closure and move on than just waiting and hoping for something that may not happen . I've stayed in touch with exes far too long hoping they would change their mind . They were happy to still stay in emotional contact with me but in hindsight I wish I had asked them straight out if we would get back together and then have cut them loose and grieved for them , that's only from my experience,

 

My logical sense tells me to let him go and move on. Even though we reconcile, chances are that he'll do it again at a point. Obviously he has serious issues and is not a stable person. I just need to be strong and make my heart accept what my mind already knows. I will get there, especially when I get in Brazil. I'll have plenty of support over there and access to very good psychological therapies. Actually I need to heal before even thinking of having a relationship. I've been repeating this pattern my whole life. I also have many experiences of guys who chased me after months or years from the breakup but then I had already moved on... so I'll stick to this. I better let it go. If he responds to my last e-mail I'll be polite and cut the conversation or depending on what he says I'll simply not to respond. Yesterday I was thinking of unblocking him on my phone but I'glad I didn't.

[Pto29538]

My logical sense tells me to let him go and move on. Even though we reconcile, chances are that he'll do it again at a point. Obviously he has serious issues and is not a stable person. I just need to be strong and make my heart accept what my mind already knows. I will get there, especially when I get in Brazil. I'll have plenty of support over there and access to very good psychological therapies. Actually I need to heal before even thinking of having a relationship. I've been repeating this pattern my whole life. I also have many experiences of guys who chased me after months or years from the breakup but then I had already moved on... so I'll stick to this. I better let it go. If he responds to my last e-mail I'll be polite and cut the conversation or depending on what he says I'll simply not to respond. Yesterday I was thinking of unblocking him on my phone but I'glad I didn't.

 

 

Yes I think a lot of people on this forum while they wish their ex will come back they know that it possibly could be the worse thing if they did . The same issues or whatever reason for the breakup may be still there. Yes it will be good to focus on yourself and heal but don't be very hard on yourself . You are not to Blame for any of this . it takes 2 people to be in any relationship and yes we can make better choices when it comes to partners but ultimately we cannot see the future or know if something will last forever . I think you said one of your relationships lasted 8 years. In my eyes that is a success. But the more we focus on ourselves and be compassionate with ourselves it does put us in a better place to bring someone to us and more importantly it gives us the inner resources to know we will be ok if they do leave us or the relationship doesn't work out ,

[jchilds24861]

 

I'm trying to stay positive as well. I'm not great but I'm not nearly as miserable as I was either. I have come a long way in the 4 weeks we've been BU. I broke NC after 2 1/2 weeks only to be ignored... That was the closure I needed to kick myself in the butt and get it together. I keep myself as busy as I can and keep pushing forward no matter how hard it is. I have my moments but they're becoming less as time goes on. I know I'll get to where I'm truly ok and back to myself, it'll just take time. And that's why I keep encouraging everyone else. I feel like I'm giving more tough love but if these people wanted us and to be in our lives, they would be. Does it hurt to know they don't want us, absolutely, it's crushing but, we can't sit around having pity parties for ourselves while they're our living their lives. We have to get back out there as well.

And WHO can just take off for 2 months and go across country or wherever the heck they want?!? If I win the lottery I'll make it to where you can and you won't have to live out of some van. Hahaha

 

Well curiosity got the best of me today.. I ended up checking her instagram just to see how her trip has been going. Self punishment indeed I know. Quite the trip from what it seems, nature filled. I know social media can be quite subjective from the posters and viewers perspective. Still haven't broke NC.. 4 weeks strong on Monday.

 

Sometimes I think of the last message she sent me in response to my text stating that the swiftness of the change in personality was tough. That I didnt want to place blame anymore and even after all of the events that took place during the BU I wouldn't let it stain the memories of us... Her response was that she'd let it stain them enough for the both us.

 

But.. Hey.. It's a gorgeous day outside today! Time to go for a run!

[Thainara]

Yes I think a lot of people on this forum while they wish their ex will come back they know that it possibly could be the worse thing if they did . The same issues or whatever reason for the breakup may be still there. Yes it will be good to focus on yourself and heal but don't be very hard on yourself . You are not to Blame for any of this . it takes 2 people to be in any relationship and yes we can make better choices when it comes to partners but ultimately we cannot see the future or know if something will last forever . I think you said one of your relationships lasted 8 years. In my eyes that is a success. But the more we focus on ourselves and be compassionate with ourselves it does put us in a better place to bring someone to us and more importantly it gives us the inner resources to know we will be ok if they do leave us or the relationship doesn't work out ,

 

 

Yes, this is so true. That's why I want to heal before getting into another relationship. I think that I fell so bad for this guy because I was not fully healed from my 8-year relationship. The end of it was really traumatizing because he cheated on me, I asked him to leave the house on the same day I learned what he was doing and he started hurting me further going to public places with the girl he cheated on me... that's why I left Brazil... the pain was unbearable. Then in the week I was going to leave Brazil he text me saying I was the love of his life and he was going to love me forever and how bad he was feeling for everything he did. I took more than one year to stop hurting... then I met this guy online and I think I was so needy for love, attention, and having that warm feeling that I jumped in too fast... It's funny how we attract the wrong person when you are not emotionally balanced. But I will be fine. I just need to get support from my friends and family and I'll feel better... today I woke up better and I don't want him back or something. Ups and downs... it sucks

[Thainara]

 

Well curiosity got the best of me today.. I ended up checking her instagram just to see how her trip has been going. Self punishment indeed I know. Quite the trip from what it seems, nature filled. I know social media can be quite subjective from the posters and viewers perspective. Still haven't broke NC.. 4 weeks strong on Monday.

 

Sometimes I think of the last message she sent me in response to my text stating that the swiftness of the change in personality was tough. That I didnt want to place blame anymore and even after all of the events that took place during the BU I wouldn't let it stain the memories of us... Her response was that she'd let it stain them enough for the both us.

 

But.. Hey.. It's a gorgeous day outside today! Time to go for a run!

 

 

I wish my ex was tough on me too. I think it would be easier to let him go. Every time I broke NC we had great chats. BTW, we never broke up. He told me he was confused and could not commit right now (very different from the beginning). Then he drunk texted me "I will always love you, my Baby" and sent me many of our songs... next day when I asked him about always loving me he said "Yes, I'll always love you but it doesn't mean we have to stay together" and also said we were going to communicate less because he needed to focus on his job. Next morning he called me, I told him I was busy and I would call him later... we stayed 6 weeks without talking, but in the second week he sent me a box of vanilla milk he knows I love... I never thanked him for that. But he still talks to me and is always nice... but it's not good to be in contact or stalking... it takes us many steps back. We know it's gonna hurt us but we still do it!!! Crazy, hu?

[jchilds24861]

 

 

I wish my ex was tough on me too. I think it would be easier to let him go. Every time I broke NC we had great chats. BTW, we never broke up. He told me he was confused and could not commit right now (very different from the beginning). Then he drunk texted me "I will always love you, my Baby" and sent me many of our songs... next day when I asked him about always loving me he said "Yes, I'll always love you but it doesn't mean we have to stay together" and also said we were going to communicate less because he needed to focus on his job. Next morning he called me, I told him I was busy and I would call him later... we stayed 6 weeks without talking, but in the second week he sent me a box of vanilla milk he knows I love... I never thanked him for that. But he still talks to me and is always nice... but it's not good to be in contact or stalking... it takes us many steps back. We know it's gonna hurt us but we still do it!!! Crazy, hu?

 

It's human nature to be curious. Our minds wander and that's where thoughts enter. It's tough to let go of the person who was your confidant, lover, the indivudual you could lose yourself in. The conundrum though is that it's a two way street.. Is it healthy for me to view her instagram.. No.. Not by any means. It's nice to know that she is enjoying herself but in a sense it also gives me strength because I can view the situation and muster up that the empathy I feel is just a one way street. I can look back and know that there are other avenues I could have taken.. But.. Overall in general I was a decent caring human that made some poor judgement calls. We learn.. We love.. We live. Eventually the turmoil that both parties focuses on will fade..

 

The relationship I shared with her even though it has ended.. I view as one of the best relationships I have had so far. We had arguements and disagreements but such is life.. Chasing perfection is never the answer.. Remember it's always easier to walk away then to walk through the fire.

[Thainara]

 

It's human nature to be curious. Our minds wander and that's where thoughts enter. It's tough to let go of the person who was your confidant, lover, the indivudual you could lose yourself in. The conundrum though is that it's a two way street.. Is it healthy for me to view her instagram.. No.. Not by any means. It's nice to know that she is enjoying herself but in a sense it also gives me strength because I can view the situation and muster up that the empathy I feel is just a one way street. I can look back and know that there are other avenues I could have taken.. But.. Overall in general I was a decent caring human that made some poor judgement calls. We learn.. We love.. We live. Eventually the turmoil that both parties focuses on will fade..

 

The relationship I shared with her even though it has ended.. I view as one of the best relationships I have had so far. We had arguements and disagreements but such is life.. Chasing perfection is never the answer.. Remember it's always easier to walk away then to walk through the fire.

 

But it's mind blowing to think that they're living happily while we're feeling so miserable, isn't? That's what I hate most about me. Even though I have no clue if he's happy or not (different from you that knows she's happy with someone else), I know for sure he's not suffering like me otherwise he'd have gotten in touch to say something. But it is what it is... I went through this many times before and I've heard later how much they regretted their choice. But then it was too late. I dated an American guy in Brazil for 3 years and he ended up cheating on me. He left Brazil with this girl and married her. One year or so later he got in touch saying his marriage didn't work out and asked for another chance. We met again but my feelings had changed but we became friends. Last year we were chatting and I asked him if he really had had feelings for me. He said "I adored you and after our breaking up you were in my mind every single day for a long time". How can we understand this? I don't get it... really don't.

[saar87]

Okay so the last days I tried to keep NC, as in I respond when he messages but don't initiate any contact. He keeps contacting me several times during the day, asking me what I'm doing, how I am, told me he misses me, sending heart or kiss emoji.. Yesterdag evening I agreed to do voice call on skype, not good maybe but I wanted to hear his voice also. We were talking and laughing about just random stuff, was actually just a fun conversation.

But this weekend I'm at an event so other people were with me and every now and then during our skype call someone would come over to me and talk (never long) in my native language which 'my' boy can't understand. So I was talking to a guy for a second and laughing at something he did, and suddenly without saying a word he cancels the skype call. I send a message to ask why and he told me that I obviously was having fun talking and laughing with the other guy so he decided to let me do that and not talk anymore. I tell him this is ridiculous and that he can come back to skype. He says no he doesn't care anymore, dont want to talk and is going to bed (at 9 pm..). That I just should have fun with other people and not contact him again this night. When I answer with sad replies about this, he is more distant and doesn't answer anymore or not much. Then when I start acting indifferent or mad he starts talking more again but still in a weird way, even sending a sad emoji with a gun to his head. Eventually he stops answering and so do I. This morning he starts a conv, just normal like nothing happened.. What is this behaviour?? It's not normal?

[Helpmesavethis]

Okay so the last days I tried to keep NC, as in I respond when he messages but don't initiate any contact. He keeps contacting me several times during the day, asking me what I'm doing, how I am, told me he misses me, sending heart or kiss emoji.. Yesterdag evening I agreed to do voice call on skype, not good maybe but I wanted to hear his voice also. We were talking and laughing about just random stuff, was actually just a fun conversation.

But this weekend I'm at an event so other people were with me and every now and then during our skype call someone would come over to me and talk (never long) in my native language which 'my' boy can't understand. So I was talking to a guy for a second and laughing at something he did, and suddenly without saying a word he cancels the skype call. I send a message to ask why and he told me that I obviously was having fun talking and laughing with the other guy so he decided to let me do that and not talk anymore. I tell him this is ridiculous and that he can come back to skype. He says no he doesn't care anymore, dont want to talk and is going to bed (at 9 pm..). That I just should have fun with other people and not contact him again this night. When I answer with sad replies about this, he is more distant and doesn't answer anymore or not much. Then when I start acting indifferent or mad he starts talking more again but still in a weird way, even sending a sad emoji with a gun to his head. Eventually he stops answering and so do I. This morning he starts a conv, just normal like nothing happened.. What is this behaviour?? It's not normal?

 

He is young and immature... That's what.... Although, I do think it was rude of you to talk to others while you were Skyping with him. That would hurt my feelings, especially if you guys don't talk often... But again, prime example of when you are talking to him happily etc, he pulls away and then when you pull away, he pushes for more.... I'm sorry but I don't see this going anywhere. I'm typically a very optimistic person and try to encourage people but I don't think I would waste any more time with him. He has a lot of growing up to do..

[Helpmesavethis]

Good Morning to everyone! I had a very very busy day yesterday and it was great for me. No break down moments and not on my mind near as much.... Another long day today for me but I'll be driving by myself for several hours so I'm hoping I can occupy myself enough not to think too much about things..... Everyone have a good day!!

[mcnugget]

Good morning! I hope everyone is doing as well as they can today.

 

I'm traveling for the weekend, but I still kept breaking down constantly. I was crying on planes, trains, and in taxis. Crying in bars and restaurants. Crying at friends parties. It was just becoming too much. Facebook kept sending me photos and memories. Last night I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had been thinking of waiting a bit longer and reaching out more cooly to get conversation going again... that's probably what I should have done. I didn't. Facebook sent me a look back over my summer and it was all photos of us being happy.I sent him a screenshot of that along with "I hope you're well. I miss you." No response. I we broke up 3 weeks ago and have been NC other than one meeting 2 weeks ago to exchange keys. I actually slept well last night. I feel less anxious.

[Helpmesavethis]

Good morning! I hope everyone is doing as well as they can today.

 

I'm traveling for the weekend, but I still kept breaking down constantly. I was crying on planes, trains, and in taxis. Crying in bars and restaurants. Crying at friends parties. It was just becoming too much. Facebook kept sending me photos and memories. Last night I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had been thinking of waiting a bit longer and reaching out more cooly to get conversation going again... that's probably what I should have done. I didn't. Facebook sent me a look back over my summer and it was all photos of us being happy.I sent him a screenshot of that along with "I hope you're well. I miss you." No response. I we broke up 3 weeks ago and have been NC other than one meeting 2 weeks ago to exchange keys. I actually slept well last night. I feel less anxious.

 

I was the same way after getting no response. It still hurts but is getting better each day. Keep pushing forward. Try to not go back on those things. I am afraid of even scrolling thru Facebook at this point let alone seeing memories... And I'm a junkie... Haha I hope ypu have a good day today.

[saar87]

He is young and immature... That's what.... Although, I do think it was rude of you to talk to others while you were Skyping with him. That would hurt my feelings, especially if you guys don't talk often... But again, prime example of when you are talking to him happily etc, he pulls away and then when you pull away, he pushes for more.... I'm sorry but I don't see this going anywhere. I'm typically a very optimistic person and try to encourage people but I don't think I would waste any more time with him. He has a lot of growing up to do..

 

Yes maybe but he knew I was with other people and if someone came over to ask me something I just answer and try to keep it short. There was no reason for him to react like this. Today he acted like nothing happened, being very talkative, happy emotes , told me maybe he can make time to see me next weekend. I shouldnt do it, but I'm still tempted to maybe go and see him.

[Helpmesavethis]

Yes maybe but he knew I was with other people and if someone came over to ask me something I just answer and try to keep it short. There was no reason for him to react like this. Today he acted like nothing happened, being very talkative, happy emotes , told me maybe he can make time to see me next weekend. I shouldnt do it, but I'm still tempted to maybe go and see him.

 

MAYBE he can make time?!?!.. People make time for who they want to make time for..... I think you're hung up on him, which we all understand because of what we're going thru. I'm totally guilty but again, this guy is young and immature and I don't see anything but heartache coming out of it for you.

[saar87]

MAYBE he can make time?!?!.. People make time for who they want to make time for..... I think you're hung up on him, which we all understand because of what we're going thru. I'm totally guilty but again, this guy is young and immature and I don't see anything but heartache coming out of it for you.

 

Yes last week during the whole outburst he told me he probably didnt have time till May because he believed he would be busy with school all the time lol. Now he wants to see me and tries to make time asap. But I agree I don't see a very bright future, it's just really hard to do the right thing here.

[mcnugget]

I was the same way after getting no response. It still hurts but is getting better each day. Keep pushing forward. Try to not go back on those things. I am afraid of even scrolling thru Facebook at this point let alone seeing memories... And I'm a junkie... Haha I hope ypu have a good day today.

 

I wish that I didn't need to go on Facebook, but it's required for my job. I'm actually considering moving. Being in my area is too painful right now and I might need a fresh start. I know what I want in life and my priority has always been a family. I live in a very expensive area outside of a large city. It's pretty progressive and I don't feel like most of the men share my more traditional family values. One of the things that attracted me to my ex was that he said he valued marriage and starting a family. However, he had never been in a real relationship and traveled all the time.

[Thainara]

I had a pretty good day today. Early in the morning I went to a healing session. The first time I left my house in one week. I came back feeling dizzy but lighter. Yesterday I had a talk to myself and we agreed that enough is enough... I shouted out loud that yesterday was the last time I would cry for him. Then at night I saw some videos to clear emotions such as EFT and Ho'oponopono. I did that and I'll keep doing it. Then I went to take a walk at the beach and I felt amazing. I think of him in my head background but it's not painful anymore. I ate healthy and spent a long time talking to my neighbors - we laughed a lot! Oh! I also went to buy ice cream... I decided I want to be gentle to me and be patient with my healing. I also made an exercise of loving and accepting all these feelings and thank them for being here to teach me good lessons and help me to be a better person... it felt really good stop fighting what I was feeling. Well, hope very soon we all will come to terms whit all this... One more thing: I subscribed a dating site and I have a date next week... Nope, I don't want to get in another relationship but I think it will be good to feel attractive to a guy and probably it's gonna fun to go out, talk, laugh. As I don't have friends and family here, there's no options for me to be around people other than through these websites. But I talked to the guy today and he sounds really interesting... Anyways I just want to go out and talk to someone.