Gelli22 Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 So met this guy on tinder and talked about meeting but he never followed through. A month later he reaches out to me to say he had lost his phone and he was so sorry and was using his mum's phone. Obviously I thought this was just an excuse but agreed to go on a date with him. We ended up having an amazing date, conversation flowing, laughing, just an immediate connection. During the date he said 'is it too early to say I want to see you again?' and made all sorts of comments about things we should do in the future. He also genuinely had his mum's phone so he hadn't been lying! I even asked him at the end of the date whether he meant that he wanted to see me again and he said yes and kissed me. He ended up coming back to mine as well but I have to say I was the one who pushed it. Now during the date he mentioned that his grandad wasn't very well and he was driving down to see him at the weekend. A few days later I texted just to say I had a nice time. He ended up telling me that his grandad had passed away. A few days later we ended up matching on bumble. He texted me to say that he didn't even remember he had bumble. We chatted for a bit and I told him I was about to go to a specific club that night and he said he'd never been but always wanted to go. I of course asked if he wanted to come. He said he'd love to but he was feeling really down about his grandad still. We chatted more and I basically said 'ask me out again' (this wasn't so bad in the context of the conversation). He replied 'I'm sure I will, but it's just bad timing with everything at the moment'. I replied 'Of course! I'm just saying I'm keen' - yes I completely regret that. In the UK I promise it sounds a lot more casual. This was a week ago. So is it wrong of me to think that if a guy was interested then he would still make time to see me? Or am I just being a bad person and not being to able to respect the fact that he's obviously grieving? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 Maybe he's just married/otherwise committed for all you know of him. If he contacts you again in another month you'd do well to ignore him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustMizz Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 His grandfather passed away, give him some time. You've had 1 date with the guy. At least he is still responding to you, that's a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 I am always leery when someone meets on a hookup site. Tinder IS a hookup site isn't it? I've never done Tinder so sorry if Im wrong. Anyway, I always think it's best if the guy pursues the woman. Im just old fashioned in my views in dating....but I just think men are wired differently and they actually prefer to be the ones to chase. Give it some time. In the meantime, make plans and go out with friends and have fun!! It was one date. There will be other guys! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limichelle Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 I agree with other posters, there is no way of knowing until you hear from him again. I say go out and have fun and date other guys, don't put all your hopes on this one. Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanZee Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 Too many excuses. Maybe he's extremely shy. Maybe he feels you're too much for him. Or maybe, as one writer suggested, he has somebody else already and feels guilty. Maybe he's hoping you go away. I wouldn't contact him again. You might hear from him in a month or two and you might want to ask him if he has someone else and see what his reaction is. Maybe ask to meet mom because she'll tell you all the dirt on him. That's what my girlfriend did early on and she found out everything I told her was the truth, and even gave her tips on how to get me -- get to know me first. Been married 20 years now, so it worked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyfrank Posted August 9, 2017 Share Posted August 9, 2017 I would be scared to date girl that hooked up with me on the first date. Especially if she used tinder. He can also be active Tinder user to hookup and move on to the next girl. Made story up about grandfather being sick to help get sympathy sex. If I like somebody. I would message them often to get their attention. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 I would be scared to date girl that hooked up with me on the first date. Especially if she used tinder. He can also be active Tinder user to hookup and move on to the next girl. Made story up about grandfather being sick to help get sympathy sex. If I like somebody. I would message them often to get their attention. Good luck. Scared? Its my understanding that tinder is for hookup too, but why be scared? So met this guy on tinder and talked about meeting but he never followed through. A month later he reaches out to me to say he had lost his phone and he was so sorry and was using his mum's phone. Obviously I thought this was just an excuse but agreed to go on a date with him. We ended up having an amazing date, conversation flowing, laughing, just an immediate connection. During the date he said 'is it too early to say I want to see you again?' and made all sorts of comments about things we should do in the future. He also genuinely had his mum's phone so he hadn't been lying! I even asked him at the end of the date whether he meant that he wanted to see me again and he said yes and kissed me. He ended up coming back to mine as well but I have to say I was the one who pushed it. Now during the date he mentioned that his grandad wasn't very well and he was driving down to see him at the weekend. A few days later I texted just to say I had a nice time. He ended up telling me that his grandad had passed away. A few days later we ended up matching on bumble. He texted me to say that he didn't even remember he had bumble. We chatted for a bit and I told him I was about to go to a specific club that night and he said he'd never been but always wanted to go. I of course asked if he wanted to come. He said he'd love to but he was feeling really down about his grandad still. We chatted more and I basically said 'ask me out again' (this wasn't so bad in the context of the conversation). He replied 'I'm sure I will, but it's just bad timing with everything at the moment'. I replied 'Of course! I'm just saying I'm keen' - yes I completely regret that. In the UK I promise it sounds a lot more casual. This was a week ago. So is it wrong of me to think that if a guy was interested then he would still make time to see me? Or am I just being a bad person and not being to able to respect the fact that he's obviously grieving? I agree with others, there's no telling. He could be telling the truth, he could have lied to get laid. Maybe put him on the back burner, if in a few weeks he still hasnt said anything well you have your answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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