I’ve been doing okay but then I started feeling so lonely.

[Cluelessny]

I’ve been doing okay and have been nc for a month and a half. I have my days. I still miss him but as time goes on it’s turning to anger. Angry for what he did to me. I used to want to continue being friends but then realize he was never my friend because if he was, he would’ve never deceived me the way he did. Now I’m feeling lonely, today especially. I feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I know god has a plan for me and I don’t question him but I just feel down today.

[Allison44]

You should do an activity that cheers you up! Something fun like hanging with some friends or joining a club.

That will make you feel happy and it will satisfy your social needs

 

Try to keep yourself busy by pursing life goals. It will get your mind away from the guy and help you discover what you want in life.

 

Hopes this helps and take care

[link14]

I will feel the same .. every day since my x lied to me constantly .. i couldnt believe that someone who we loved would deceive just to get away with it

[Vicky89]

Anytime you feel like contacting him because you are lonely and you miss him, just remember the things that caused the break up in the first place.

 

Don't take this to mean that you won't find another guy or that things won't get better, take it to mean you are that much closer to finding a guy that's better suited for you than this guy.

 

If you remain with a jerk or a guy that doesn't care for you, then you are not leaving yourself open to starting a relationship with someone that will be there for you and care for you.

 

Note that most people go through a couple of break ups before finding the person that's right for them.

 

 

[Scotty123]

I totally get how you feel. It's hard when you feel lonely. But totally understandable as your ex would have been a huge part of your life. I can understand the feelings of anger, I feel the same too.

 

Whenever I feel the way you do at the moment, as others have said, I try and make contact with friends and make some future plans. Try am have things planned out for the next month worth of weekends, that way you have something to focus on. And you will have less time or energy to be lonely.

 

I think planning ahead is the key, whether it's something you have wanted to do at home or otherwise. The phrase running around my head is "get your own house in order", sort out my own stuff and then in a while (for me probably at least a year!) I may be able to think about looking for someone else. But I not sure I will look too hard cause my choices haven't ever worked out to well !!! Maybe I'll just wait for someone to fall on my lap lol

[SleekAvocado]

I understand the feeling too. I am on my 11th day of NC. Sometimes I get the memories that hit me suddenly out of nowhere. And yes it is painful, to the point of it made me hard to breathe (maybe that's a bit over dramatic, but kinda feels like that way).

 

Like what Vicky said, remember the reason why the relationship did not work in the first place. I am trying to pick up on new hobbies too, like going out for hiking with my friends and trying to learn a musical instrument. Power to you, Cluelessny. We can all reach the light at the end of this dark tunnel even though now it seems very, very painful. I get you.

[No1]

This is normal. Healing isnt like what you think where its steps. Its more like a pendellum. As you go thru your day, your pendellum is going to hit certain emotions. Could be anger, sadness, fear, confusion and so on. That pendellum can stay on a certain emotion for a little bit, then swing to another. But eventually its going to his acceptance. Those are the moments where you see and have clarity, you accept that the break up happened, then it might swing from there to another emotion. As time goes on, your pendellum will stay on accptance more and more until it stays on here.

 

What you do is not focus on what caused the break up because it just doesnt matter any more. You learn from this and move on and do things that make you happy. Truth is, you will be happy again, you will find someone else, fall in love and be happy with another person. Just have to get past this first. Youll be okay

[SleekAvocado]

This is normal. Healing isnt like what you think where its steps. Its more like a pendellum. As you go thru your day, your pendellum is going to hit certain emotions. Could be anger, sadness, fear, confusion and so on. That pendellum can stay on a certain emotion for a little bit, then swing to another. But eventually its going to his acceptance. Those are the moments where you see and have clarity, you accept that the break up happened, then it might swing from there to another emotion. As time goes on, your pendellum will stay on accptance more and more until it stays on here.

 

What you do is not focus on what caused the break up because it just doesnt matter any more. You learn from this and move on and do things that make you happy. Truth is, you will be happy again, you will find someone else, fall in love and be happy with another person. Just have to get past this first. Youll be okay

 

I like the pendulum analogy. When the pendulum hits certain feelings, it hurts so much. But I know in time it will slowly not hit those certain feelings anymore. I wish you all the very best in the journey of recovery.

[Angelbabe]

Don't worry dear, its normal. There are times we think we are okay but there are also times we feel worse. Let the healing process make you a better person by accepting that it is over and focus more on yourself. Break ups always teaches us a very valuable lesson.

 

I am feeling the same too its been almost 8 weeks breakip and 3 weeks no contact but today, when I woke up I felt different. Sure I still miss him but it felt different. The longing and the urge to text has faded. One day you'll feel the same way too. In order to move on, you must keep moving forward.

 

Let all the rollercoasrer emotions out. Feel it then let it go.

[Cluelessny]

Thank you everyone for your response. I was at a point where I wished he would call then at a point of whatever. I can feel that I’m healing, it just feels like a minor set back in my feelings. Kind of like 2 steps forward, one step back. I am making moves in the right direction. I guess there’s a few things going on in my life, maybe that’s why I am feeling a little down about everything. I do miss him but then I remember, I miss who I thought he was. That person doesn’t exist. He never did. Reconnecting could never be an option nor would I want it to be. As far as me meeting someone else and being happy, yes, I would love that but I also know it won’t come that easy. Whatever is meant for me, will be.