Are we Becoming Distant from Each other?

[Allison44]

I have this guy friend. I've known him for about almost 2 years now. In the past, I told him that I had a crush on him but he said he was dating someone else and I said its ok I still wanna be his friend.

 

So in the winter semester, we took an algebra class together and we'd always see each other and our friendship was good. He'd answer my texts right away and we'd have study sessions. This summer, he had to redo a class. I sacrificed time to help him and even stayed up late to help him basically. I even motivated him and gave him my notes. Also, We'd joke around texting and he would always have something to respond.

 

But after his summer exam, I would ask him if he wants to hang out (because we did during the semester) and he always gives an excuse like "no I'm going away this weekend". Like trying to distance himself from me. He went on a trip and ever since, he hasn't been texting me with interest. I always have to text him. I called him a few times and he doesn't pick up.

 

I don't understand. I helped him so much, and the least he could do is just meet up with me once during summer and spend time. I let him know that I don't have feelings for him but I just wanna chill with him. He said we'll meet during the semester (think its a lie)

 

Also he doesn't wanna hang because he's saving money but I said that I could pay for him (friends buy each other lunch, totally fine). But he doesn't feel comfortable.

 

I feel like he used me for my help. And he doesn't really find our friendship interesting.

 

What you guys think?

 

Does he still wanna be friends with me or did he just use me for my help??

[Andrina]

He probably has a gf and maybe can't bring himself to say that they have boundaries that don't involve having close friends of the opposite sex, especially ones who once had a crush on them.

 

You have to realize that some friendships last a lifetime, but others sometimes fade to far less than they once were, or totally end. It's a normal part of life. When someone is not putting effort into a friendship, you need to let it fade away.

 

It doesn't matter if he used or not. The only thing you have to pay attention to now is that he doesn't want to remain friends. If you don't have other friends, try some new activities, like a school club, where you can meet people. And always have more than one friend. If you only have one, you will be relying too much on them for all your social needs, which would be smothering to them. That way, if one of your friends fades away, it won't be as devastating, as there will always be other friends to hang with.

[TulipTrees]

I'm sorry I think he used you to help get him through that hard course and now that's done.

 

Some people are users. Sad but true. Don't take it personally, just don't let him use you again when school strarts up to do his work for him.

 

Find friendships that are well rounded and don't involve you having to do something for the person in order to keep them around.

[MissCanuck]

He knows you like him as more than friends. Even if you say you don't have those feelings any longer, your actions are saying the opposite. And yes, I do think he used you for your help during the academic year. True friendship is reciprocal; this is very one-sided.

 

I'm sorry, but I don't get the impression he really wants to be friends anymore. I would stop trying to make plans with him and stop reaching out to him.