A friend that I've known for a year could be something more?

[OneConfusedGuy]

Girl age, 21

Me age, 20

 

For anyone who reads this... I appreciate any input. Thank-you!

 

Ok, so, I've known this 'girl - friend' for about a year now. We met at work on good terms and have been close friends ever since. To sort of describe this person, she is a drama queen to start off with. What I mean by that is, she needs to have something happening in her life. Weather it be realtionship issues or big birthday plans... something has to be happening. She has a big heart, however. She is someone that, if you are her friend, will care for you, want to know your safe, and make sure everything is alright. She can start a conversation with some stranger out in the middle of nowhere and keep it going. She loves to take chances and try new things. More recently, she has been driving a motor cycle, aka crotch rocket, and has been loving it. She also just turned 21! (march 30) I took her out for her birthday. We went to an olive garden ( a semi fancy italian resturant) and got the whole store to sing for her. She really enjoyed it, I could tell. But with me being 20... I wasnt able to go bar hopping with her, which she really wanted to do.

 

At the beginning of the year when I first met her she had recently split up from her boyfriend, after going out for two years. She worked in a different part of the store then I did, so I didn't see or talk to her much. She was then, a couple months later, transferred to my exact area of the store. That's when I started to get to know her better. We would always be around eachother talking or hanging out. I found out that we share the same taste in music, tv shows, and even some video games. Everyone at work assumed we were going out or that we were boyfriend and girlfriend. We look like the "perfect" couple from what everyone has told me. A few months down the road from first meeting her. I would hang out at her place after work, go out to eat, or to my place. Usually a couple times a week. (2-4 times a week on average). She then, out of the blue, had one of her co-worker friends hook her up with the co-worker's brother, and they started to go out. This did make me feel jealous but I would keep telling myself that I'm her "friend." She continued to go out with this guy for about 3 months and then broke up with him. Since then she started to talk to her ex-boyfriend, from the relationship that lasted two years, and ever since then has been infatuated with him. But the boyfriend just got out of a serious relationship and doesnt want to hook up with this girl... right now.

 

To give a little input about myself, I've never had a girlfriend before. I tend to be more of a quite/shy person. I have a rather boring life id say right now. I do live on my own but with a roomate. I still havent changed a lot of my habbits. I just started college and I'm just starting to learn how to play the guitar. I do smoke the green, and she does ocasionaly, but not nearly as much as I do. Video games are a big part of my life id say, ever since I was 10. Which, a week from tomorrow, I will have gone without any video games. (could that be a turn off why she doesnt like me) So most of these situations that arise, I have a difficult time relating to it seems. This girl has had a few boyfriends, but only one serious relationship.

 

What makes mine and her situation more difficult, is that she ALWAYS flirts with me, but only around me and people she 100% trusts. If anyone else walks in or sees us, shes a normal friend. This whole year, even when she was going out or reminiscing on old boyfriends, she flirts with me. To this day, even! I don't stop her from doing it, but I really don't return the flirtyness back. Also, she gets jealous of me too... and I know. One day we had a new hire at work. A really cute girl that I asked out to lunch. As I was heading out of the store, she (my friend) wanted to grab my arm and walk me out of the store so she ( the new hire) could see it. I told her no, but she hid at the entrance and jumped out and grabbed my arm. We have another new hire at work (just really recently) that is cute. And anytime I show any interest in a girl, my friend tries to put up a charade, that we are going out. I know this new girl that was hired at work thinks that too. Im just too stupidly shy to go up and ask her "hows it going?"

 

Last thing, I promise =) So, about a couple months ago I asked my friend if she wanted to go steady. She said no for two reasons. One - because we are co-workers and Two - because I'm a virgin. I still to this day do not know if that's the real truth. Because her ex-boyfriend that she is now talking to lost his job and she was trying to get him hired in the exact position she works in (and that i work in too), but that, fortunately, did not work out. And well the whole virgin thing I guess I have to believe.

 

Well sorry for writing a book, but I have no one to talk to about this subject. This issue has been inside me for the past year and I've now just come to talk about it.

 

 

So for someone who may have any advice or expereience on this issue, please, offer as much as you want. I am an open person and will listen to anything. Thank you for your time, I really do appreciate it!!

 

Thank you,

OneConfusedGuy

[DN]

The one thing that jumped out at the beginning of your post and was validated over and over again in rest of it is 'Drama Queen'. She sounds like one of these people who is starring in the movie of her life and everyone else is a supporting character. Do yourself a favour and walk off the movie set. She may be generous and big-hearted etc. but that is typical - how else is she going to keep her adoring fans? Especially if one of them (aka you) starts showing interest in one or two of the chorus girls.

 

She has been honest enough to tell you how she regards you - so take her at her word and find someone new. And make it clear to any girl that you have an interest in you that the DQ is not your girlfriend.

[Roasted Carrots]

Sounds to me like you're the emotional fall back guy - the one this girl keeps her hooks in while she flirts with other potential prospects. If she hasn't show any interest in your beyond flirting by now, I doubt she will. The jealousy shows some underlying feelings for you, but until she acts on them, I would draw some "Friend" boundaries. You might even want to consider asking to be transferred to another department at work, or even switching jobs to make it easier not to give YOUR potentials the wrong idea.

[MetallicAguy]

You could be something more, the thing that might hold her back is that you've been friends for a year and your too much of a "brother" to her. Other than that, you've got nothing to lose.

[Alabama]

It just sounds that this stage in your guys relationship, she just thinks of you as a big brother. So, I wouldn't get my hopes of anytime soon, that you guys would hook up. I suggest just try to settle being friends and let things be. Good luck!