moneymkt Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I am going to a wedding in a couple of hours and it's a friend of mine who I been knowing for 17 years. So I never met her family or she never met mine we just always talked to each other. So I am not going to know anyone at the reception and since I have always been shy there is no need for me to go. I already know that in that type of social setting I get uncomfortable and suck at small talk. So I told this to a coworker at work who I am kind of close with and she asked me in a irritated tone "have you ever been laid? I mean seriously? What does me not wanting to go to a reception have to do with me never being laid? Why would she think I am a virgin for not wanting to go to a reception Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 She was calling you uptight. In a very rude and unprofessional way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moneymkt Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 She was calling you uptight. In a very rude and unprofessional way. Well I just had an anxiety attack and decided not to go to the wedding. And will just give her gift to her in June when she returns from her honeymoon. I never in my life attended a major event like this alone and felt it wouldn't make much sense to show up at a wedding alone. And the cost for me to go by Uber will be close to $80.00 so I have cancelled my trip to the wedding. That is not the type of event you go to alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 No, it's the type of event you're choosing to not attend alone. Plenty of people do - myself included. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moneymkt Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 No, it's the type of event you're choosing to not attend alone. Plenty of people do - myself included. Did you drive or get a ride? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Did you drive or get a ride? The wedding I went to? I flew down, got a hotel, paid for cabs all over... all in, probably about $700 to attend. But they were good friends. Is this person a good friend? And, anyway - are you blaming the money, the social construct, or your anxiety? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theniceone Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I think you were looking for an excuse not to go. It is really unfortunate you are not attending for your friend. Plenty of people attend weddings alone, meet people and have fun doing so. Are you doing anything to treat your social anxiety? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theniceone Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 By the way, it is really rude to confirm attendance to a wedding and not show up. Often there is a cost to the newlyweds that comes with no shows. Hopefully your friend of 17 years knows about your issues and can be understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jibralta Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Yes, it is considered very rude to RSVP and not show up. At least in the US it is. And your coworker was (rudely) calling you uptight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theniceone Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 It is not too late to show up you know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moneymkt Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 The wedding I went to? I flew down, got a hotel, paid for cabs all over... all in, probably about $700 to attend. But they were good friends. Is this person a good friend? And, anyway - are you blaming the money, the social construct, or your anxiety? She is a good friend but I know myself too well and felt too out of place at a major event like that alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moneymkt Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 By the way, it is really rude to confirm attendance to a wedding and not show up. Often there is a cost to the newlyweds that comes with no shows. Hopefully your friend of 17 years knows about your issues and can be understanding. she said that was only for the reception which I already told her I was not attending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I understand you have social anxiety. And I'm not saying a wedding is the place to practice getting over it. But, based on other threads, you're upset you're not having much luck with women. Resolving this anxiety would go a long way in helping you find a partner. You should consider getting help for it and finding ways to practice stepping out of your comfort zone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moneymkt Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 I understand you have social anxiety. And I'm not saying a wedding is the place to practice getting over it. But, based on other threads, you're upset you're not having much luck with women. Resolving this anxiety would go a long way in helping you find a partner. You should consider getting help for it and finding ways to practice stepping out of your comfort zone. I have gotten better at dating but I know I want no parts of a bar or party scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 And that's fine - neither do I. But if you're truly socially anxious, I'm saying you should work on it. For me, personally, it would be a huge turnoff for a guy to say he avoided a wedding because it stressed him out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moneymkt Posted May 21, 2017 Author Share Posted May 21, 2017 And that's fine - neither do I. But if you're truly socially anxious, I'm saying you should work on it. For me, personally, it would be a huge turnoff for a guy to say he avoided a wedding because it stressed him out. I don't think it's anything to work on because I don't have any intentions on going to a major event alone. What I did work on was getting past the first date and I have gotten a lot better at that going by the number of dates I been on with the girl I was with last night. Now I need to work being more flirtatious on dates. So far I am just going out and having pleasant conversation during dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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