NopeDerp Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Ok so I'm almost 2months out of a long term relationship, and all i want is a friend with benefits or booty call. (Yes I am on birth control and carry condoms). I've been to parties, I've been on Tinder. Everyone I meet or match with never messages, randomly ghosts me before we set a meeting, or cancels last minute. Now granted I have not explicitly communicated I was in search of sex, but that is because I am female and worried about my vulnerability if I state that outright before meeting someone. But I know women have had hookups always and it doesn't always have to be scary. So what can I do to SAFELY get the type of relationship I'm looking for? 1. Tinder guys about sex right away and try to be brave through the creeps/pushy guys? 2. Stop being paranoid and leave a party with someone? (Not that it's been offered) 3. Try to have a neutral meetup with more guys and hope they have a spark and are bold? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I don't know. Man or woman, having sex with a stranger puts you in a more vulnerable position. Women can just as well plan with a weapon or have a male friend waiting to come in to help her assault or rob a guy. And anyone can jack someone's **** while they sleep. Statistically, you're not very likely to come across a dangerous situation, but there's obviously more of a risk that comes with hooking up than going home alone. I've done it plenty of times. I know women who've lived by it as well. If you're the type to worry about it, it's probably best you don't. Personally, though, I've never stated prior to meeting someone, "let's bang." Kinda awkward to me and sets the stage for expectations I may want to back away from for any number of reasons. I'd just meet women later than I would for an actual date and if we clicked, one of us would go home with the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clio Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Safe hook ups are an oxymoron. There is no such thing. Herpes and hpv can be contracted even if using condoms and even multiple birth control methods have been known to fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keyman Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 So, go to a bar, find a cute but quiet guy standing by himself somewhere, go talk to him. If you get along, invite him home. If that goes well, ask him if he wants to make it a regular thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 I could easily tell you but I'd get another infraction. Let's just say people have found an answer to this a long time ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RebeccaLynn Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 two words "Lions Den!!" get yourself a toy you'll enjoy!!! avoid the booty calls and the Safe Hookups, believe me!! men are never around when you need them, but your rabbit pearl.... all ways around to lend a helping..... Hand. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Why not try the fwb route? It's nsa sex but with someone you know somewhat. Do not put disclaimers on dating sites. Ok so I'm almost 2months out of a long term relationship, and all i want is a friend with benefits or booty call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NopeDerp Posted April 22, 2017 Author Share Posted April 22, 2017 Alright I'm hearing that I should not be forward with it, just meet up and see if chemistry happens. My next question is, is it better to take them home (learned your address now and can steal things) or thier house (thier domain/people/safety is in thier hands). I would like to set up a FWB I can trust, but the problem is finding someone that works. So what are some green/red flags about going/taking someone home besides guts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NopeDerp Posted April 22, 2017 Author Share Posted April 22, 2017 I definitely agree with this, and I am not going to sleep with just anyone. I'm just hoping to find a bit of companionship until I'm ready to love again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NopeDerp Posted April 22, 2017 Author Share Posted April 22, 2017 Same risks apply with a long term partner, std tests can't always catch everything. I am willing to take those risks, thank you for making sure I was aware though I appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 I can't speak for others, but going home with a stranger in this day and age is equal to playing a game of Russian Roulette. JMO...and to each their own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prtctul Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 two words "Lions Den!!" get yourself a toy you'll enjoy!!! avoid the booty calls and the Safe Hookups, believe me!! men are never around when you need them, but your rabbit pearl.... all ways around to lend a helping..... Hand. lol Lmaooooo that's so true my toys comes in handle some days I hate being touch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted April 22, 2017 Share Posted April 22, 2017 How does someone get a fwb? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NopeDerp Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 The one time I did it was an aquantence we always had a bit of an attraction but never the right time. So then I made a move and it worked fine. My issue here is now how to fine a new one to start with. You basically find someone you are physically attracted to but not emotionally, yet comfortable, and they feel the same. It's tricky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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