Sportster2005 Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 Ugh, another nice guy thread. Women like nice guys. Nice guys they are ATTRACTED to. You're supposed to be nice to people. It doesn't buy you anything, or entitle you to anything. Work on being attractive and lose the poor me attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 Ugh, another nice guy thread. I totally agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 Ugh, another nice guy thread. Women like nice guys. Nice guys they are ATTRACTED to. You're supposed to be nice to people. It doesn't buy you anything, or entitle you to anything. Work on being attractive and lose the poor me attitude. I agree. If you manipulate to 'get' someone, that usually backfires. Relax into who you are, and eventually you'll stumble across the right person who 'gets you'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 OP, you need to learn the difference between "doormat" and "nice". When I read your posts I get the impression you fall into the "doormat" category. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManyDates Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 I have always been the nice guy in everything with everyone. And it seems to be frustrating lately. Nobody want's to date a nice guy, i have a bad feeling that most of the girls our there are looking only for as...ls. I really need to change my self if i sometimes want to win any girl out there. I try to go out on dates and they keep telling me to go with a company, i try to be a bit more flirty and they say that i am the best guy they ever met and that they can see me only as friend! What is wrong? I have helped a lot of my friends to organize a very nice and unique dates for their relationships, most of the times the girl actually cried from getting emotional about the surprise i helped her boyfriend organize. Where am i doing it wrong? I mean, honest, romantic, funny with a good sense of humor, isn't that what all the girls are looking for? The thing is that i am still in my mid twenties but life is moving on, time fly by and as soon as you realize you are a mid-age man, without any experience, with out any good moments and not actually ready to settle down... Is there any tutorial on how to be an ass..le ?? You're being too feminine - that is a turn off and instant friend zoner to women. Women want to date MEN - so I suggest you look up ways to take back your masculinity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggl Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 The difference between seeing someone as a friend and a partner is sexual attraction. The traits "honest, romantic, funny with a good sense of humor" are appealing, but if there isn't anything that makes them desire you as a partner, it is very likely that you become the good friend instead. If they are not attracted to you, but like you personality, they see you as a friend. And usually, as soon as they start seeing you as a friend it is hard to redefine this relationship. What I think is very attractive to many females are self-confidence, ambition, and passion. Do your own thing and don't be needy (many thinking they are "the nice guy" don't come across as nice, but needy). Don't try your luck on any girl, but go for the one(s) that you feel have something special about them. That doesn't mean stop being nice, but take care of yourself sometime too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinydance Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 I've seen a lot of posts here like this "I'm such a nice guy but women don't like me, maybe I should act like a jerk". I think deep down women do want a nice guy but the way you're acting is actually friend zoning yourself. The thing is that it's kind of social code that if you're interacting with the opposite sex and you're into them, you don't chat to them about their relationship problems or their crushes or whatever. Those are things women talk to their girl friends or platonic male friends about, not their crush. Women know that guys who are not into them will discuss other guys with them because they're not actually interested. You're giving out completely the wrong message by being their confidante and support because they probably think you just want to be friends. You can still be nice but not like this, not like you're their girl friend or bestie. I think the myth that women only like jerks and players comes from the fact that players very actively chase women and then women become interested in them because they're so confident and "out there". I have liked some guys who were "players" but they were flirting with me and hitting on me non-stop and making it very clear they were interested. Players are called players for that reason - they know "how to play the game". I think some "nice guys" like yourself just lack confidence and understanding of how to flirt with women and then think nobody is interested in them because they're "too nice". If you like certain women then number one advice is do not talk to them about other guys and who they like, are dating, etc. And number two just be confident and very upfront and just ask them out. Even if you get rejected, just keep trying. I'm a woman and I even ask guys out myself. And yes I have had my fair share of rejection but I've also had a few long-term relationships and most of them I asked out myself. You just never know until you actually try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idontcare Posted April 17, 2017 Author Share Posted April 17, 2017 Part of the issue is that you seem to just want ANY woman. I wouldn't say that. I actually do have some things that will attract me in a woman and some things that won't. For example i do find long hair women attractive, women that wears dresses, women that are not completely skinny and other stuff. So any woman i try to chase has always those characteristics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idontcare Posted April 17, 2017 Author Share Posted April 17, 2017 Work on being attractive and lose the poor me attitude. Can you please define "work on being attractive" ? I already go to the gym, i am a fit guy, i do bicycling 7km+. I do wear nice clothes as some of my female friends told me so. And sometimes older ladies, like my teachers and stuff, tells me that if i was your age, i would definitely like having you as a boyfriend. So is there anything i am missing from my own age girls? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 Can you please define "work on being attractive" ? I already go to the gym, i am a fit guy, i do bicycling 7km+. I do wear nice clothes as some of my female friends told me so. And sometimes older ladies, like my teachers and stuff, tells me that if i was your age, i would definitely like having you as a boyfriend. So is there anything i am missing from my own age girls? Confidence and how you carry yourself can be attractive IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 I wouldn't say that. I actually do have some things that will attract me in a woman and some things that won't. For example i do find long hair women attractive, women that wears dresses, women that are not completely skinny and other stuff. So any woman i try to chase has always those characteristics Ok. What about personality? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Can you please define "work on being attractive" ? I already go to the gym, i am a fit guy, i do bicycling 7km+. I do wear nice clothes as some of my female friends told me so. And sometimes older ladies, like my teachers and stuff, tells me that if i was your age, i would definitely like having you as a boyfriend. So is there anything i am missing from my own age girls? I should have said attraction, not attractive. A woman can look at you and think you are attractive. But creating attraction is another kettle of fish. Being attractive is a good start. And think that when you approach women. It's about confidence. Women like confidence because it's manly. It makes them feel safe and protected. Most women don't need protection, but you can't undo evolution. Read, learn, listen more on attraction. Be genuinely nice, but don't be nice because you think it will get you dates or a relationship. It turns women off. There's some good resources out there. Avoid PUA B.S. Changing Your Game by Christie Hartman is an excellent book. She's a bona fide researcher, not a pop psychologist. All single men should read this book. I do not get paid for endorsement. I've read it a few times. Always helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsolo Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 "Is there any tutorial on how to be an ass..le ?? " I recommend reading authors such as Doc Love, David DeAngelo, David Deida, and especially Corey Wayne. It will change your life, because you will learn that you will have to change in order to become attractive. This does not mean you are an a-hole. You will find out what it means as you begin studying and becoming a new man (if you take the material seriously). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mustlovedogs Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 "Is there any tutorial on how to be an ass..le ?? " I recommend reading authors such as Doc Love, David DeAngelo, David Deida, and especially Corey Wayne. It will change your life, because you will learn that you will have to change in order to become attractive. This does not mean you are an a-hole. You will find out what it means as you begin studying and becoming a new man (if you take the material seriously). These are the pickup artists that other posters don't recommend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabinete Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 They say being the good guy is the best moral way but what I have seen in real life is that bad guys always win. And young impressionable women love bad guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Naaaah, when I was young and impressionable I found the best guy ,ever . He certainly wasnt a bad guy . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Naaaah, when I was young and impressionable I found the best guy ,ever . He certainly wasnt a bad guy . Ditto...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeynow Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 He certainly wasnt a bad guy . Same here. When I think of all my friends and family, none of them are bad guys or with bad guys, and never were. We've all been around the block a few times, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovingthefall Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 This might have been said already, but… “Nice guys always lose out to jerks” = understandable young-guy mistake. It’s not that nice guys are unattractive to women and that jerks are attractive. It’s that confident and sexy guys are attractive and very few self-proclaimed nice guys are either confident or sexy. Meanwhile, the guys that are confident and sexy end up seeming like they get all the women and they then get big-headed about it and start reveling in their successes and end up behaving like jerks. Ignore the clichés about nice guys always losing out. Just add some confidence and sexiness to your nice guy traits and you’ll do just fine. And who knows…you might then become a jerk and all the nice guys might end up hating you. (Just kidding, of course. Don’t be that guy) But don’t ask me how to be confident and sexy. I’m no life coach. I can recognise confidence and sexiness when I see it, but I don't how to teach it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Ironically, the link to a thread I'm giving you will probably help you more than we ever could since it's from former nice guys talking about how they finally got out of that particular rut: A lot of good advice from guys who've been there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
journeynow Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Ironically, the link to a thread I'm giving you will probably help you more than we ever could since it's from former nice guys talking about how they finally got out of that particular rut: A lot of good advice from guys who've been there. I like what how the one commenter put it: " Your happiness is important, you can't fix people, you don't get things you don't ask for, and no one respects people who don't respect themselves." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayeh422 Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 hey man- i really recommend a book called no more mr nice guy by dr glover, and find some guys you feel safe doing the exercises with. it totally changed my life. women don't want s. they settle for s sometimes because at least s make them feel something by refusing to compromise themselves. my guess is that underneath your niceness you have some shame about sex, a need to please and have approval from women, and covert contracts whereby you expect sex and attraction from women in return for good behavior. and this kind of thing is what is stopping you from getting what you want, not the fact that you are a good guy. you don't have to be an , but you do have to be willing to own yourself and stand up for who you are. hope the book helps u create what you want! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idontcare Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 Ok. What about personality? I like when the woman has good sense of humor, that is very sweet, a woman that you can have a pleasant conversation with, a woman that like spontaneous dates like instead of a coffee shop, just a walk on the beach or instead of a loud bar, just a bottle of red wine and sitting on some roof top listening to radio and chill under the stars. In fact i know some girls that actually do that with me. But when i am ready for the move, they seems to say that a a friend. Event if i only know her for couple of months. Ohhh god i need to grow some @@ don't i? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idontcare Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 Ignore the clichés about nice guys always losing out. Just add some confidence and sexiness to your nice guy traits and you’ll do just fine. That's a very nice advice! Thank you very much! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idontcare Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 i really recommend a book called no more mr nice guy by dr glover, Hey man, thank you very much for sharing this! I will definitely check it out!! i am very happy to hear that it helped you too!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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