I thought I knew everything...

[Mikess1978]

No, no, you ate good for her!

 

LOL, yes we bring a lot of food too and my friend brings her two Labrador dogs. We just go overnight and then drive to a cafe or bakery for breakfast. We just talk until we are ready to fall asleep. It's very starry sky here.

 

We always went for a long weekend and always with a group of few people. It is fun to cook and eat together.

 

I remember, once we all went for a hike in the woods. We got lost and we were wandering in the woods for hours. Somehow, we walked back to our camp but it was so long that even my friends dog had blisters. He is a Labrador too and he is huge.

 

I have great memories of camping.

[Silverbirch]

Mike, you should go camping again soon with a group of people. My friend Angela and I are going in about another week overnight to a place I haven't been to before which is good for swimming. Just a few kilometres from me are waterfalls and a mountain, also a big lake in the other direction. I will post some photos.

 

This is the lake and I went for a swim there again on SundaY.

 

I am learning navigation and other skills with a group of people to rescue lost and/or injured people in the forests here. It doesn't happen too often, but last year a young child went missing when it was very cold and wet. They found him after one day and night, and he was okay, but one more night, I don't think he would have been.

[Silverbirch]

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The mountain nearby

[Silverbirch]

Sorry, this is the lake. There is also a very long river with a lot of good places to camp.

 

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[Silverbirch]

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This was strange. I found this place off a dirt road, and local people claimed not to know it. I feel for certain it was a sacred aboriginal site

[Silverbirch]

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All close by where I live!

[Mikess1978]

Wow, that looks beautiful.

 

I live in Ontario which is not the most beautiful place in Canada but I love the greenery. We have just too much trees and bushes. Another aspect of camping for me is to just go away from all electronic devices for few days. It is like, we are far from the busy world though, we never travelled more than few hours for camping. We have had some crazy experiences also while camping - bears around our tents, flooded tents, crazy smart raccoons and too much rain and thunders.

 

I don't have a camping pic but I wanted to attach Enrique's pic from the concert but U have no idea how to do it.

 

I have another concert to attend on March 9th. This will be my 10th Bryan Adams concert and I love his music.

[Mikess1978]

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All close by where I live!

 

So beautiful, you are lucky to live in such a beautiful place.

[Mikess1978]

Sometimes, I fear that I will be gone and my stories will never be told.

 

I don’t have any memories of myself when I was a toddler or even less than 6 or 8 years old. My brother tells me that I used be very naughty but I don’t remember. I have few memories from my primary school though. I had this kid who used to carry my bag every day to school and bring it back for me as well. He was in my class. How cool was that? I feel bad about it now though especially now since this guy is in army and he can kick my ass.

 

I also remember getting lunch from one of my teachers’ home one day. She loved me, I don’t remember her name but I remember her face still. My friend and I had lunch, it was just so much for us but we enjoyed it.

There was this kid who I am still in touch with. He used to recite the same poem all the times and we all used to clap every time he did it. I still remember it, well some of it. I never knew at that time; how sad this poem was. I don’t remember it any longer correctly so I am paraphrasing it.

 

I was walking alone somewhere,

One side was filled with jungles; another side was filled with my loneliness.

I had some dreams in my heart,

When I stepped on to a bone,

Bone cried and said,

O Stanger, walk carefully,

As I used to be a human also long time ago.

 

I cannot imagine if anyone of us really understood it. I think, it was too deep and too sad.

 

I think about my entire life is that I only remember the good stuff. I rarely remember anything sad. It seems, my mind does not hold sad memories for very long time, especially up to uni. I was just an average student. I was neither at the top of my class, not at the bottom. I did not work hard for my education, but I think

 

I had okay mind. I performed so badly in mathematics in high school that I had nightmares about it. I was so frustrated with the studies. Luckily I got into a good engineering school and somehow, I really liked engineering. I think, it has something to do with my interest in modern physics.

Engineering is entirely a different beast. It requires a very different mindset. I really worked hard in my first year of engineering and scored really well. So well that I got the highest marks in school. For the rest of three years, I lived on that glory as all the professor really liked me and with little bit efforts from my side, I did pretty well.

 

When I look back now, I think I really enjoyed my education except the nightmares about mathematics. But I guess that was part of life. My parents wanted me to do masters but I really wanted to earn tons of money. I remember how my brother used to send me separate pocket money on top of what my parents used to give me. I was living like a king on campus. Working part time was out of question as they wanted me to do well in my studies so I never worked in my life as a student. I taught a lot of kids thought but I never charged any money.

 

My dad, who was a teacher always told us – education is the best gift you could ever give.

[Mikess1978]

I am trying to keep myself busy. There is only so much work and gym I can do. So, I decided to meet old friends and make new friends. After the death of my Mom, I started to be more in solitude, I just did not want to meet people. It has affected my social life and it got only worse when I lost my Dad and later my daughter A.

 

I was never able to find the words to console someone after they lose someone close to them and I don’t really feel that anyone can understand my loss as well. I guess this is a social norm to say few nice things.

 

I met S at the club. He lives in this pretty old but nice compound. Can you believe he has been there since 2004? It is a long time. Moving houses is really troublesome task, I don't blame. His compound is really nice, it has everything you need - a club, bar, restaurant, gym, swimming pool and couple of badminton and tennis courts. They even have dart and pool table. I kind of like it. Location is not great for me. My house has great location and it is in a very quiet area which is I like.

 

We talked about mainly business but when he asked me why was I avoiding him, I had to tell him what happened in last two and half years. He was socked to hear about my mom, dad and my daughter A. The conversation kind of died at that time. We talked about business and he is facing the same problem with corporate as me - they don't understand the Middle East market. The only difference is that his employer is German and mine is Canadian but they have same mentality.

 

We talked about common friend and how S wants to work with me and maybe, we can sign a contract with his company. It is a good idea but let’s see how it goes. Market is not doing well, especially for anyone who is dependant on the Oil & Gas sector. Infrastructure projects are also slowed down due to no or very less liquidity in the market. Well, all we can hope for better days.

 

I had some chicken and few wedges and three beers. Chicken was grilled so it was okay for my diet but potato wedges and beer were not. My tolerance to alcohol is pretty low. I was kind of tipsy when I reached home and ended up sending few texts to Sara which I regret now. She texted back this morning and it seems, she is cool.

[Mikess1978]

My day was okay. I had great start with my PT. He pushed me really hard. I am very sore from yesterday’s training but it could be due to the fact that I had beers last night. I like to work out now.

 

Work was well, we are making progress but not enough and not soon enough. We will keep trying our best and see how it goes. I need to let go one of my employees and I feel really bad but there is nothing I can do to stop it.

 

I talked to my wife few times on the phone. She also had a hectic day. Teaching is not easy and it is not well appreciated profession. They have to do tremendous work for not that great compensation.

 

Sara needed to fly to Doha for few hours to exchange some contract documents. I offered to pick her up from the airport as her return flight will be late in night. She hesitated a lot and later said, her plan changed and now she has to go to Doha in the morning and I can drop her to airport on my way to work as my work is right at the airport.

 

She texted again this morning to say that the contract is not ready and she is on standby. I want to believe her but this defies all logic. I would prefer a ride with friend to the airport instead of taking a cab any day if it is not inconvenient to my friend.

 

Do people in finance (M & A, Hedge funds) really work later hours? Do they really work so much? She is a junior associate.

[Silverbirch]

Sounds like having a OT is the way to go. My son has one, and he feels it has been very worthwhile.

 

When you wrote about your teacher taking you to her place, I recalled when I was nearly 10 years old, our teacher took our entire class to her apartment so we could watch Neil Armstrong walk on the moon. She said to us that day, and we knew it was true, that we would never forget that day. I remember we sat around for hours waiting for that to happen. There was a lit if build-up to him taking the walk on the moon, and we all cheered. I will ember it even aIf I live to be 100.

[Mikess1978]

Sounds like having a OT is the way to go. My son has one, and he feels it has been very worthwhile.

 

When you wrote about your teacher taking you to her place, I recalled when I was nearly 10 years old, our teacher took our entire class to her apartment so we could watch Neil Armstrong walk on the moon. She said to us that day, and we knew it was true, that we would never forget that day. I remember we sat around for hours waiting for that to happen. There was a lit if build-up to him taking the walk on the moon, and we all cheered. I will ember it even aIf I live to be 100.

 

Hey Silverbirch, I already have one and I don't want the other one if he wants to charge so much for group classes.

 

I am feeling good today. Wife said, she wants to talk to me. I am taking this as positive. Keeping my fingers crossed.

 

Those are the good memories we all have. You know, small gesture of kindness or caring can have huge impact on our lives.

[Silverbirch]

I have my fingers crossed for you Mike!

[Mikess1978]

Tuesday was not as good as Monday.

 

Work load is increasing as we will have very busy March and April. April being the last month of financial year. Everyone is feeling the pressure but I don't. Which is sad. I do not know why but I am not interested in anything. I do stuff but I am not enjoying any of it. I am doing it for the sake of doing it.

 

It seems that I am not losing any weight because I am building muscles. I went for a run on the beach again last night. It helps me sleep or it is supposed to help me sleep. My calories intake is very decent now, I am having two eggs in the morning and a bowl of legumes for lunch and dinner. I love tea so I am having six or seven teas in a day. I have three beers and about five fries on Monday with S so that might play a negative role.

 

PT was great this morning as usual. I am finding it hard to finish it every day but somehow I always do. My fitbit weekly report says that I am doing great. It is not a very accurate device, especially when it comes to heartbeats. I will be doing all sorts of exercise and my Fitbit will show my heart beat only 88 or 90 but on other machines, I can see it is 155 - 160. I had to take it seriously when I got three Fitbit as Christmas gift in 2015.

 

Wife called me to discuss some bills and she wants to meet me this week. I am looking forward to it. I am also setting up meetings with two other friends M and A. I need to keep myself busy. That's the goal.

 

Sara and I exchanged few texts during the day. She was supposed to be in Doha on Monday or Tuesday but she avoided the question when I asked her if she is in Doha. Her usual stuff.

 

Looking forward to my my 5K run tomorrow.

[Silverbirch]

I had the same thing a few years ago when I was going to gym - I put on weight due to building muscle. Are you vegetarian? I have been vegetarian for a few years. Originally became vegetarian at 21, but got quite sick after 5 years. This time, its been much easier as there are many more vegetarian groceries. Actually, I think its easier than eating meat. I have probably been vegetarian now for 6 years, and I think probably healthier. Been strange as a couple of months ago, I started cooking meat for my dogs instead of buying prepared food for them. Took a while to get used to the smell of having cooked meat in my house. Same as last time, cleaning the cooking pans seems pretty dirty compared to cleaning up after vegetables or legumes. Do you like legumes? I keep things pretty simple as I live alone. Anyway, a few months ago, I discovered mixing corn kernels from the can with well rinsed black beans. I like to serve them with washed unskinned potatoes cooked in the microwave and served with a bit of grated cheese and Greek yoghurt (instead of sour cream). If you like spicy food, they are nice with some Jalepenos added. I do eat free range eggs and some dairy. In recent times, I did some training in safe food handling, and now I will never eat an egg which is not cooked until it is hard. Im also not going to knowingly eat anything in it which has uncooked eggs like mayonnaise. Its unsafe. A lot of Americans and French people like to eat steak cooked rare, but that is fraught with dangers as well. My son and his partner have now become vegetarian as well - their own decision. Ive tried to impress on him though that if he does eat meat, not to eat mince. He should eat well cooked steak or well cooked roast meat. We did a fair bit in the class on handling meat, and especially with mince, the bacteria can spread very quickly and its harder to cook the bacteria out with the heat.

 

Youre doing great Mike! Have a good time with your friends!

[Silverbirch]

I meant to ask earlier if you would mind elaborating on something you said in a previous post. You were saying that most people dont get ?the Middle Eastern business mentality. I was a bit confused too. I thought you lived in Dubai. Do you live in Canada and visit Dubai for work?

[Mikess1978]

I had the same thing a few years ago when I was going to gym - I put on weight due to building muscle. Are you vegetarian? I have been vegetarian for a few years. Originally became vegetarian at 21, but got quite sick after 5 years. This time, its been much easier as there are many more vegetarian groceries. Actually, I think its easier than eating meat. I have probably been vegetarian now for 6 years, and I think probably healthier. Been strange as a couple of months ago, I started cooking meat for my dogs instead of buying prepared food for them. Took a while to get used to the smell of having cooked meat in my house. Same as last time, cleaning the cooking pans seems pretty dirty compared to cleaning up after vegetables or legumes. Do you like legumes? I keep things pretty simple as I live alone. Anyway, a few months ago, I discovered mixing corn kernels from the can with well rinsed black beans. I like to serve them with washed unskinned potatoes cooked in the microwave and served with a bit of grated cheese and Greek yoghurt (instead of sour cream). If you like spicy food, they are nice with some Jalepenos added. I do eat free range eggs and some dairy. In recent times, I did some training in safe food handling, and now I will never eat an egg which is not cooked until it is hard. Im also not going to knowingly eat anything in it which has uncooked eggs like mayonnaise. Its unsafe. A lot of Americans and French people like to eat steak cooked rare, but that is fraught with dangers as well. My son and his partner have now become vegetarian as well - their own decision. Ive tried to impress on him though that if he does eat meat, not to eat mince. He should eat well cooked steak or well cooked roast meat. We did a fair bit in the class on handling meat, and especially with mince, the bacteria can spread very quickly and its harder to cook the bacteria out with the heat.

 

Youre doing great Mike! Have a good time with your friends!

 

I used to be a vegetarian but my wife ate mostly meat so I started eating meat too. Also, it helps when I am travelling which is minimum one international flight a week. I used to travel a lot more when I was living in Canada. My longest trip was six weeks. When the business grew, my employer offered me a better position and an option to develop my own division so I took at the age of 36. At that times, all the other divisional heads were not less than 55. The oldest guy who is running Latin America is over 70. That was work rant.

 

I agree with you, veggie food has more options than non vegetarian food. It is just that a lot of people are not used to cooking so much vegetarian food. I love legumes. My weight is a big problem for me. I am not that fat but I could be bit lighter. About four years ago, we had biggest loser challenge at my work. We all had three months (basically between two quarterly meetings) to lose weight by body weight percentage. Everyone chipped in 200$ and we had a jackpot of 3600$. I was traveling and I took one all you can eat vacation in Cuba in between but I was doing this "Four Hour Body" diet. It worked and I won the bet. I spent it all in one night.

 

I am back on the same diet. I love it as I like eggs and legumes. I can add chicken to it but I don't know how to cook it. My wife used to cook it for me. To be honest, I can be on this diet forever. These days, I feel sleepy while doing my training so maybe, I am not eating enough. I eat two or three eggs for breakfast and one bowl of legumes for lunch and one bowl for dinner.

 

For my weekly cheat day, I go for a 5K run, then I have huge breakfast, then huge lunch and dinner. But these days, I am not able to finish my meal.

 

I am also scared of eating uncooked or not well cooked food. I normally go for the cheapest egg, maybe I should try free range one.

 

Processed food for us or dogs is not really good. You never know what meat do they have in it. We also thought about doing that for Snoopy but it never worked out.

[Mikess1978]

I meant to ask earlier if you would mind elaborating on something you said in a previous post. You were saying that most people dont get ?the Middle Eastern business mentality. I was a bit confused too. I thought you lived in Dubai. Do you live in Canada and visit Dubai for work?

 

I am employed in Canada by a Canadian manufacturer. However, I look after EMEA (Europe, Middle East and Africa) for them. I used to be based in Canada but as the business grew, they moved me to Dubai. So now, I live mostly in Dubai but still live in Canada for about two months a year and travel back and forth.

 

International business is fun. You need to know the culture and how they do business. I have done BBA and MBA in International Business so it helped a bit but I was already in International business before I completed them.

 

It is hard to explain. Business in Europe is mostly based upon OEMs (original equipment manufacturers), while Middle East is full of huge projects. Trust is main thing in MENA, you gain the trust and you can do business. People get offended very easily and if they ask for something, they expect it. In reality, every country is different, pricing structure is different, payment terms are different.

 

I hope I am making sense.

[Silverbirch]

Yes, I think I get the gist of what you are saying. I meant to say also that one of my nephews who is in his early 20s is an engineer. He got scholarships to do some study in Germany and Sweden. He lives engineering. Do you know much about Sheikh Mohammed of Dubai. I have seen several videos about him, what he has achieved and his aspirations for Dubai and the people. What he has achieved in a short time is incredible. I am of the understanding that something was said which offended him, but nobody is sure what it was with people in the UK who were involved in caring for and training his thoroughbreds which would have earns thrm mega millions and employed a lot of people. He ended his business association with them, simply providing very polite dignified ending of business arrangement with no explanation. Needless to say, those people were totally devastated, not just because of the money, but because in the horse world, to work for him means having access to the very best facilities and technology. He has his own 747 which he transports his horses on - in shipping containers which have been converted into stables. Against popular opinion, he was bringing his horses back to the Middle East from England in the winter, and his decision proved to be the right one.

 

I did grow up with Middle Eastern neighbours and friends, but they were very westernised in most ways. My father was Italian, and their parents were a bit like the old Italian style parenting, but more extreme.

[Silverbirch]

Just a thought - maybe you need some carbohydrate and that is why you are getting sleepy. It's only if you eat excess that you will out on weight. When my son came back from a 3 month trip to Asia, he had list so much weight because he had hardly eaten any carbohydrate when he was over there. I think he looked terrible and unwell.

 

About cooking chicken - that is another food you must be very careful with cooking and then maintains safe temperature. It's pretty easy to cook though. For what you want, probably be easiest to buy chicken fillets from the supermarket, dice into small pieces and stir fry. It's much nicer and healthier to cook it in sesame oil.

 

I bet your wife has noticed the results of your exercise even if she hasn't mentioned it.

[Mikess1978]

Yes, I think I get the gist of what you are saying. I meant to say also that one of my nephews who is in his early 20s is an engineer. He got scholarships to do some study in Germany and Sweden. He lives engineering. Do you know much about Sheikh Mohammed of Dubai. I have seen several videos about him, what he has achieved and his aspirations for Dubai and the people. What he has achieved in a short time is incredible. I am of the understanding that something was said which offended him, but nobody is sure what it was with people in the UK who were involved in caring for and training his thoroughbreds which would have earns thrm mega millions and employed a lot of people. He ended his business association with them, simply providing very polite dignified ending of business arrangement with no explanation. Needless to say, those people were totally devastated, not just because of the money, but because in the horse world, to work for him means having access to the very best facilities and technology. He has his own 747 which he transports his horses on - in shipping containers which have been converted into stables. Against popular opinion, he was bringing his horses back to the Middle East from England in the winter, and his decision proved to be the right one.

 

I did grow up with Middle Eastern neighbours and friends, but they were very westernised in most ways. My father was Italian, and their parents were a bit like the old Italian style parenting, but more extreme.

 

Sheikh Mohammed is a real leader. When I came to Dubai first time in 1998, there was nothing here. If you see it today, it is a booming cosmopolitan city. I had my doubts about the growth of Dubai as a real tourist destination in 2008 during the market crash but I am convinced now. The leaders are great, they take decision very quickly and things move at a very fast pace here. So far, they have done great job and I think, it will get even better with time.

 

Only if our politicians had some vision.

[Mikess1978]

Just a thought - maybe you need some carbohydrate and that is why you are getting sleepy. It's only if you eat excess that you will out on weight. When my son came back from a 3 month trip to Asia, he had list so much weight because he had hardly eaten any carbohydrate when he was over there. I think he looked terrible and unwell.

 

About cooking chicken - that is another food you must be very careful with cooking and then maintains safe temperature. It's pretty easy to cook though. For what you want, probably be easiest to buy chicken fillets from the supermarket, dice into small pieces and stir fry. It's much nicer and healthier to cook it in sesame oil.

 

I bet your wife has noticed the results of your exercise even if she hasn't mentioned it.

 

Yes, she did and she wanted me to photo-document it. I will talk to my trainer about the sleepiness.

[Mikess1978]

I messaged Sara that I wanted to talk to her yesterday and I told her it is serious talk. She was worried and asked me if she needed to call me right now and she ended up calling me.

 

We ended up meeting this morning at 6:00 am and went for a walk and then sat down in the sand on the beach with a coffee cup in our hands. I was feeling very uncomfortable because I don't want to accuse someone for such thing.

 

We talked about almost everything. She was visibly upset and was not sure if we can be friends at present. She said that she does not do this for living, she was going through rough time back home due a breakup with her long term BF and she moved here to get over him. She was emotionally vulnerable and also did not have any money, that's why she opted for what she did. This is the third time I asked her this and her answer is same.

 

She said that she does not want to be in my life it creates problem for me but she likes me as a friend. She kind of noticed how things were not well and that's why she was trying to keep little distance from me. She even thought about cutting our ties completely but did not think it is a good idea, considering my situation at present.

 

We talked for good hour and half. She became very emotional at one point but we both remain calm.

 

We will try minimal contact for next four weeks, we might do stuff together (running, coffee etc) but absolutely no sex. We also decided that it is better than Sara plans all the stuff.

 

Let's see how it goes. I think, it will be fine. I need to focus on my life, my work and try to get my wife back if I can.

 

Against everyone's advise, including my psychiatrist, I want to believe her. She gave me her words and I think, she is telling the truth.

 

If I give someone my word, I always keep them so, I should expect the same from others.

[Mikess1978]

I met another old friend of mine to keep myself busy.

 

M is going through a tough time as his Dad just had bypass surgery. He has spent about two months with his Dad, he is lucky that he has his own successful business so her does not have to worry about it. His Dad had another heart attack and though, he is doing, it will take him long time to recover.

 

We talked about how we both spent so much time in hospitals in recent past. I think, with age, life changes a lot.

 

I felt good today. I had my PT in the morning which was really tough. Later in the evening I was even able to go for a walk. I like walk now. I need to get into running but I need a partner for that. I think, things are moving in right direction but one day at a time...