My Odyssey

[Sportster2005]

Took another sabbatical. I'm finding it very easy not to date.

 

KR and I went back and forth in email for a while. She eventually said after meeting me she couldn't see herself dating me. I was a little surprised. I told her should could have just been clearer earlier. In a constructive way, I wasn't the least bit put off. Just found it odd. I must have said/done something for her to change gears. Oh well. That was probably a month ago.

 

One gal, LB, added me to her fav list quite a while ago. I've been sitting on the fence. She added a new picture that shone a light on a different side of her. It managed to convey the correct amount of sexy and playfulness without being overtly sexy. Hard to explain, and harder to pull off I imagine. I stay clear of profiles where women are leading with sex. But at the same time it's nice to see sexy conveyed subtly and teasingly. So I emailed her. It's going back and forth.

 

The trail has gone cold on the two gym girls. One I think was too young anyways. Turns out they know each other. I see them chatting a lot at the gym. The oldest one likes to make eye contact from a distance. But whenever she's close she looks past me. She will look my direction but is careful not to make eye contact. I overheard her talking about 'Joe'. Might be a bf and she likes the attention. And that's O.K. I'll give her some. There are a few women at the gym I wouldn't mind getting to know. But I keep it in check. I'm there to work out, and so are they. That doesn't mean I won't flirt if given the go ahead. And there's no substitute for building familiarity and rapport.

 

There's one gal at the dance studio Wednesday night. Can't tell if her dance partner is her partner, or just dance partner. That and she's not showing much interest. But it's the same as the gym.

 

I think I would like a gf, but not a partner. Somewhere to date, have stay overs with. Go out with. But not get too serious with. Not an FWB.

 

I bumped into KM Saturday. We sat and chatted for a while. I like her, but I didn't want to ask her out. So I didn't. I think we are in each other's friend zone, but I don't want to hang out with her. It' nice bumping into her, that's all.

 

OL looked at my profile last week. I thought of texting her. But if I have to think about it, and only because she might have shown passing interest, then I shouldn't. I want to feel excited and enthusiastic. Not "meh, maybe they will do."

 

I emailed a gal who is 5'10". She wants 5'11" I'm 5'9". I said I know I don't meet her height requirement, but I'm awesome and would love to chat with her. I'm sorry gals, the height thing is sooooo stupid. But I won't complain. It's a problem with women, not me.

[Sportster2005]

Booked a meet with LB.

 

I've been hesitating writing one that really has my interest. The reasons are twofold. She's retired and a bit older. She lives about three and a half hours away. I don't like LDR. But she is very appealing. I figure no harm in chatting. She listed a local bar as one of her fav spots. Maybe she comes down here a lot. I don't have time to drive that far. I would consider meeting in the middle perhaps. Or she could marry me and move here. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

 

MC. She's a dancer. Recently single. I met her about nine years ago. We recently re-connected when I started going to the dance studio. I asked her out nine years ago, but I was about a week too late. By recently single I mean weeks. She was with they guy for less than two years. The split was acrimonious. Another woman was involved. I'll give you all three guesses who the other woman was. Anyways, it would be silly to think of going there. But the thought has crossed my mind. Certainly not going to approach it anytime soon.

[reinventmyself]

Another woman was involved. I'll give you all three guesses who the other woman was. [/b]Anyways, it would be silly to think of going there.

 

Whaaaatt??!!

[IAmFCA]

I enjoy your stories. I relate to your description- stay overs but not too serious. Nice.

 

You sound fantastic. Strong, clear headed, like a man in motion, forward motion. Glad.

 

You are living in a fishbowl. I thought that was just you, but now I find I've adjusted to the fishbowl. Last Thursday at an event, I met a man who said Do you know The Greek? And then suggested we all go to lunch. Eye roll, what could I say but That's a great idea! It will never happen, I'm not interested in someone who is interested in only half of me at best; he's not interested in me; we don't talk. I wish I knew a better way to answer.

 

Glad to have your ecompany! Good luck with your next meet LB.

[IAmFCA]

Whaaaatt??!!

 

She's like a gnat that flies around sportsters head. No purpose, just that annoying buzzing sound.

[Sportster2005]

Whaaaatt??!!

 

LOl yeah, I know right? Beyond strange now. Like Michael Corleone said, "I keep trying to get out, and they keep dragging me back in", or something like that.

 

I was going to email her on FB a couple of weeks ago. Just to make peace with her. I walk by where she works at least once a week. I pretend I don't know she works there, and pretend just to walk by. Sometimes I see/hear her in my periphery. I only know she works there because a previous time I was going to email her, I checked her profile. Soooo I wouldn't unless I did, and she wouldn't know I know. Long story short she has me blocked now. Which I find odd. Whatever, and I don't want to talk too much about her anymore. I will say I have lost a lot of respect for PR. He's the instructor at the school who just dumped MC for LO. He's a tall masculine man who owns the room. He gets the girls. But why this?????? MC is much better. But who am I to speak? Well, as much as I liked her, I don't think I would ever have given her another chance.

 

But I think they both have a thing for drama. The last time they broke up a few years ago she dumped his clothes on the parking lot of the dance studio. They broke up a lot. Apparently he would get unhappy, they would break up, LO would have flings, then they would get back together.

 

Enough about me.

 

I'm going to head over soon to your place and see how things are with you.

[Sportster2005]

I enjoy your stories. I relate to your description- stay overs but not too serious. Nice.

 

You sound fantastic. Strong, clear headed, like a man in motion, forward motion. Glad.

 

You are living in a fishbowl. I thought that was just you, but now I find I've adjusted to the fishbowl. Last Thursday at an event, I met a man who said Do you know The Greek? And then suggested we all go to lunch. Eye roll, what could I say but That's a great idea! It will never happen, I'm not interested in someone who is interested in only half of me at best; he's not interested in me; we don't talk. I wish I knew a better way to answer.

 

Glad to have your ecompany! Good luck with your next meet LB.

 

I'm looking for other options for dancing. It might be in the same fishbowl, but in an entirely different corner. I freely admit pangs of wanting. Not so much her. But part of me would love to be her dance partner. She is that good, and I think it would be fun. But I'm sure I couldn't. But the dream won't die. It's not an active conscious thought. It's a daydream, a fantasy. And yes, I would love to find someone else to play that role.

 

It sucks when you keep bumping into them. No matter what has happened, or not happened. No matter if you think of them anymore or not. It just sucks, as you are no doubt finding.

 

And of course my dance partner is getting very close to MC. They talk about it. I told my dance partner I don't want to hear anymore about it. I'm avoiding MC somewhat. I don't want her to start talking to me about it. She knows nothing about my ill fated attempts. I want to keep that my secret. I don't want to get into this drama. I don't even want to watch that part of it. At least not that close up. Perhaps the occasional long view.

 

I wish I could find out if the new gal at the studio is just dancing with her partner, or if he is a partner. I will see her tonight. If the studio doesn't close because of this wonderful winter storm.

[KMO7970]

This is great! Have you ever done "DADGAD" tuning?

[IAmFCA]

I'm looking for other options for dancing. It might be in the same fishbowl, but in an entirely different corner. I freely admit pangs of wanting. Not so much her. But part of me would love to be her dance partner. She is that good, and I think it would be fun. But I'm sure I couldn't. But the dream won't die. It's not an active conscious thought. It's a daydream, a fantasy. And yes, I would love to find someone else to play that role.

 

It sucks when you keep bumping into them. No matter what has happened, or not happened. No matter if you think of them anymore or not. It just sucks, as you are no doubt finding.

 

And of course my dance partner is getting very close to MC. They talk about it. I told my dance partner I don't want to hear anymore about it. I'm avoiding MC somewhat. I don't want her to start talking to me about it. She knows nothing about my ill fated attempts. I want to keep that my secret. I don't want to get into this drama. I don't even want to watch that part of it. At least not that close up. Perhaps the occasional long view.

 

I wish I could find out if the new gal at the studio is just dancing with her partner, or if he is a partner. I will see her tonight. If the studio doesn't close because of this wonderful winter storm.

 

So smart to be as discrete as you have been. And to know that the wanting is for a fantasy represented by a real person, not the person herself. (Ok, I twisted your words a little. )

 

You are worth everything you intend to find.

[Sportster2005]

This is great! Have you ever done "DADGAD" tuning?

 

I love DADGAD. I don't do much of it now. I have been exploring DADDAD as of late. It's beautiful. Try it, if you haven't. I first came across it listening to Patty Griffin. Her song, Rain, is in DADDAD.

[Sportster2005]

Dance gal, I shall call her Dance Gal, or DG for short, wasn't at dance class tonight. The roads are bad. Maybe she has to drive in from out of town.

 

OL texted me tonight. Review. Went out about a month ago for coffee. Asked her out after coffee, very hesitant. She ended up saying "we'll see". I didn't follow up. A few days later she texted me clarifying she meant we'll see, because she was busy the rest of that weekend, and that she enjoyed meeting me. I wasn't convinced. That was awhile ago now. Tonight she said....

 

"I am writing because I was wondering after the meeting that we had, I remember I gave you the impression that I was not interested in seeing you again and later I sent you a text. And perhaps you were left with that impression"

 

It was really late and I was just starting super. I told her I was glad to hear from her, I want to talk to her, but it will be tomorrow.

 

I liked meeting her originally. So I'll ask her out tomorrow, for the weekend. I don't want to dwell on it. Give her another chance, see what happens.

 

I'm just waiting for one of you to remind me how I like to shoot and ask questions later ;P

 

Ugh, Retired and a bit older, really caught my attention. She runs marathons, bikes, and is a writer. She's blonde, hot body, smart. But she's over three hours away. I will continue chatting for now. She will be RBO.

[reinventmyself]

""I'm just waiting for one of you to remind me how I like to shoot and ask questions later ""

 

I think you handled that well. A sincere response and following up tomorrow.

You do seem to have a pattern with crossing wires with these women.

Some of it you own, some of it coincidence.

Not sure why I'm pointing it out.

Interesting, that's all.

[IAmFCA]

I remember liking OL; i think you talked me out of it

Is she newly single? Was there a flag on the play before her unintentionally tepid parting shot?

 

3 hour away sounds perfect. The distance is a drag. Id give it a shot anyhow. By the time you two become exclusive, the distance will matter less. Until then, she will be a nice alternative. Plus, we gotta find out how many degrees of separation until... or maybe she is not in the fishbowl. Could it be?

[IAmFCA]

""I'm just waiting for one of you to remind me how I like to shoot and ask questions later ""

 

I think you handled that well. A sincere response and following up tomorrow.

You do seem to have a pattern with crossing wires with these women.

Some of it you own, some of it coincidence.

Not sure why I'm pointing it out.

Interesting, that's all.

 

Agree.

 

I think its an overcorrection to the impulse of getting too optimistic. Also think its starting to become less and less of an oversteering, as S practices modulating his response.

 

Keep us posted S!

[Sportster2005]

I remember liking OL; i think you talked me out of it

Is she newly single? Was there a flag on the play before her unintentionally tepid parting shot?

 

3 hour away sounds perfect. The distance is a drag. Id give it a shot anyhow. By the time you two become exclusive, the distance will matter less. Until then, she will be a nice alternative. Plus, we gotta find out how many degrees of separation until... or maybe she is not in the fishbowl. Could it be?

 

Other than the tepid good bye, I had no issue with OL. She is persistent. Most women would have given up. We are having lunch on Saturday afternoon. Then she invited me to a house concert she organized. In between I will see LB. I'm not that excited about LB. But there's no reason to cancel.

 

If three hour gal was here, I would put most of my energy there. Funny you mention fishbowl. She's a runner. I'm sure we know someone mutual. That reminds me I owe her a good email.........

 

reinventmyself -- I kept it real simple. Basically I said I did perceive things incorrectly. I then quickly put emphasis on wanting to see her again. Within an hour we have two dates for Saturday. Which is both interesting and a little caution inducing. But I'm going in with an open mind. She has very little free time, so it's probably not unreasonable to fit a lot in when she is free.

[reinventmyself]

She has very little free time, so it's probably not unreasonable to fit a lot in when she is free.

 

I just caught you forecasting again. Stop it !

[Sportster2005]

I just caught you forecasting again. Stop it !

 

LOL, I love it when you gals keep me honest

[Sportster2005]

BL texted me last night. I didn't get to it till this morning. Haven't heard back.

 

Chatting with OL.

 

If you talk about them, you care about them. Sigh. I was scrolling through my IG account looking at all the wonderful pics. LO shows up as a recommend to follow. We haven't been on FB together since last July. And she's never shown up before. She has a pic of course that's very old. Back when she looked like Penelope Cruz. Last night was surreal. I ended up in a dance studio sitting next to, and chatting with, LO's current guy, the instructor guy. It was just two as everyone else was dancing in the larger studio. He was quite chatty. I was wondering what he was doing there alone. It was practice night. I kept wondering when LO was going to show up. They are competitive dance partners. She never did. He just sat there most of the night. I found the conversation odd. Almost if he was trying to befriend me. I wouldn't know. All my friends are female. I'm not sure how men become friends. Maybe he was looking for an ally. I don't imagine the community is happy he dumped MC for LO. I think MC is much more respected and liked. I almost wanted to interrupt him and say he was stupid for dumping MC for LO. But that would blow my cover. Oddly he talked more about MC. He didn't mention LO. Maybe they're keeping it secret.

 

Another prospect on Match. This one said she wants to take up Ballroom and/or Salsa. She will get a reply.

 

Haven't heard from three hour away girl.

[reinventmyself]

I almost wanted to interrupt him and say he was stupid for dumping MC for LO.

If you had a choice, would you choose MC or LO?

[Sportster2005]

If you had a choice, would you choose MC or LO?

 

I'll probably always have some sort of crush on LO. One of those way in the background ones. One without hope, or meaning. But I would never date her again. When people do something to you, they're likely to do it again. I would like to get to know MC better. Now is not the time. And it may never be. Bad timing.

 

P knows what LO is like. It was a tumultuous drama filled on/off relationship. MC treated him well. Just stood by his side through his hip replacement. I don't think LO does anything for anybody but herself.

 

P is a handsome, tall male. He's friendly and every woman I know adores him. I fully understand the appeal of LO. But I think P is thinking with his small head, not his big head. He could do better. MC seems to be aging gracefully and very well. LO looks tired and haggard. I suspect this won't last long, and he'll have neither.

[Sportster2005]

Had lunch with OL at 13:00. It lasted two hours. We seem to be clicking and getting comfortable with one another.

 

My 17:30 was a no show.

 

On to the house concert in about an hour with OL.

 

Three hour away gal agreed to chat on the phone tomorrow.

[Sportster2005]

The house concert was great. But it wasn't conducive to dating. OL was the organizer. We really didn't get to chat much. And today I'm just not feeling it. I might try one more date, if she agrees. But I dunnoh, not a lot of compatibility.

[Sportster2005]

Talked on phone with three hour away gal. It lasted an hour and a half. It wasn't bad. But it wasn't good. I dunnoh, just found it kind of boring. Don't know what to do next. Sleep on it I guess. I think we are in two different stages of our life. Her kids are in their 30s. I still have a 14 yo. She's retired and fairly well off. Will probably want someone to travel a lot with. We talked a bit about LDR. She dated a guy in the States for a couple of years. She saw him four times physically. After that length of time she decided that's not what she wants.

 

The logistics just don't work. I have my son(s) every Friday night. I run long distance every Sunday morning. I'm not even sure I can fit someone in here, let alone someone that far away. And week nights are completely out.

 

Sigh.

 

I just don't feel like contacting OL.

 

Time to send out some new emails.

[abitbroken]

It would seem tiring to me to be in the same dance class all the time with the same people and then a new woman comes in as fresh meat. Is there another pond you can swim in for awhile? Is there any other dance studio within 45 minutes? Is there something else you can try where you will meet more women than men, like cooking classes, an artisan class or volunteering for animal rescue or a kid's charity? Granted, you might meet some married women also, but it expands your network of sisters, friends, roommates, etc, that they have. I would say if you have dated or have entertained the idea with a number of dance class women, some of them would be friends and would talk about you to the new women, etc., at least about who you might have also dated.

 

You are meeting women online, so that's a little out of the fishbowl, but still i wonder if there is a way to expand on the chance meetings and other things that could develop when women get to know you a little.

[Sportster2005]

It would seem tiring to me to be in the same dance class all the time with the same people and then a new woman comes in as fresh meat. Is there another pond you can swim in for awhile? Is there any other dance studio within 45 minutes? Is there something else you can try where you will meet more women than men, like cooking classes, an artisan class or volunteering for animal rescue or a kid's charity? Granted, you might meet some married women also, but it expands your network of sisters, friends, roommates, etc, that they have. I would say if you have dated or have entertained the idea with a number of dance class women, some of them would be friends and would talk about you to the new women, etc., at least about who you might have also dated.

 

You are meeting women online, so that's a little out of the fishbowl, but still i wonder if there is a way to expand on the chance meetings and other things that could develop when women get to know you a little.

 

I go to different dance classes. Once you have taken one, you can retake as many times as you like for free. So there is some new faces in 101. But my partner has been signalling she wants to dump Tuesday night. Which is 101 and 102 class. She bailed on tonight. Unfortunately most people coming now are couples. But I am interesting in finding someone who wants to dance. So this could be an opportunity. But it doesn't solve my fishbowl problem. I could go tonight and hope someone needs a lead. But it's becoming rare. So I could just end up sidelined, or going home. And bumping into... would just add insult to injury.

 

I also might look at some evening courses. Great idea !!!!!! Maybe I'll find something to do for Tuesday evening.