Being "Nice"

[Runesoul]

Alright, right now I'm feeling kinda depressed. It seems like everywhere I go I have to put on this "everything is all right (or alright....)" persona to make people feel comfortable around me. And then if I show any of myself it is completely uncharacteristic of me from other people's points of view. It just seems like I ALWAYS have to be funny and talkative around other people or they thing something is wrong with me.

Any of you guys ever find yourself in this kind of situation? What did you do? I personally am getting sick of it, but I don't want to hurt anyone... Hmm......

 

 

Runesoul

[ShySoul]

Yeah, I can feel like that too. It's like your expected to be one way and if you show any other side to you its shocking. Only thing is I'm kinda the opposite. I'm always nice but quite, so if if I was too talk out alot people probably wouldn't recognize me. I think what you need to do is stop caring what other people think or say and just be you. Go with how you are feeling. If you don't feel talkative or don't want to make jokes, don't. If something is bothering you, let others know about it. We all have lots of facets to ourselves and should be able to show them all.

[ShyGuy444]

oh man, i felt the SAME WAY this week, and i didn't hold it in, i was just not happy, and my friends freaked out cuz i'm the happy person that is smiling all the time, i let out, felt good personally, and i think everyone just forgot about it though

[Chesnick]

I suggest telling your friends that you're depressed. If they are your friends, they will understand and try to support you with whatever you are feeling. I find that I usually feel kind of better when I tell my friends that I'm a little down, and then they don't get frustrated with me because I'm not my usual jovial self.

[Alabama]

I feel the same way. I'm a nice guy and that's what people expect to be and I'm quite and responisble. Yet I like to 'cut loose' and sometimes act 'angry', but it would scare people I fear. So I try to act as I always do and not do anything they might think strange. It can get annoying, but I'm used to it now.

[Celadon]

It's good to learn to be open about how you're feeling. I mean, not so much to freak everyone out, like throwing yourself on the ground and wailing - lol! But enough to allow your true feelings to be expressed.

 

Why? 'Cause expressing your true self is more important than maintaining an image or persona. Also, because people grow more when they can honestly talk with other people, and get honest feedback. If you hide what you're feeling or thinking, out of consideration for other people or concern that they won't know what to do, then you are shortchanging yourself.

 

I know this guy who is much older than you, and he always tries to have a happy face on. But underneath, he is really unhappy. I can tell, because sometimes he finds ways to lash out at people or he sinks into depression -- but he always denies being that way. And it's sad, because it seems like he can't even figure out how he feels or what's bugging him since he is so used to ignoring his true feelings.

 

My advice: Choose a couple of close friends who you feel would accept you. You know, the deeper people. Start sharing one or two small things with them, and see how they react. If they're okay with the "real" you, then you know you can relax and be more of yourself around them.

[ShySoul]

Also trying to bottle up your emotions and only act how others expect you to will do alot of damage to your emotional state in the end. You'll end up depressed and grumpy because no one understands you. You won't be able to hide how you feel forever. Either you'll get so down that it starts to affect you in other ways or all the pent up feelings will explode in some way that you may end up regretting. It's better to express yourself now then wait and let things get worse.

[fantasia2004]

do you folks realize that you are only human?