Unbearable Ex Pain. Im grateful its gone.

[rtyu4567]

I believe I went through the worst and am in the better. I decided not to do NC because it was not working out for me, personally I could not handle it, it caused me too much depression and anxiety. So I did Very limited contact, which worked out much better for me. In my communication with him, he expressed the possibility of getting back together in the future, but that was just talk on his behalf, with no action behind it. I think he just wants to be wanted and chased and I'm not doing that anymore, I believe the last of me expressing my need for him was in November, and I think he picked up on me making peace with our parting. And I did make peace with it, and I'm sad but also happy. I'm happy the freaking unbelievable torture of hell pain in the pit of my stomach from missing him and unbearable ache in my heart from wanting him is over, what a relief! But, I'm sad because, well for several reasons.....because in being in limited contact with him, I realized he is not the man I fell in love with, I have been able to actually hear, that he is all talk and no action, mostly seeking a reaction to soothe him, we want different things in many areas such as, careers, finances, and home. Funny thing is that when I do talk with him, the less I feel that want to be with him. I'm also sad because, I still love him, but many things about him I simply do not like and I want someone in future to be more emotionally available. Today, I feel lonely, I also miss having a boyfriend, a companion, someone that calls me to ask me how my day was, or what I had for dinner, just random things. I miss having someone who cares about me and I care about that someone. I have a great family and friends near by who I adore but, I also have a fear of being alone with out that special partner to share life with. I know, I know maybe I'm jumping the gun, but that is just how I feel at the moment.

[Roselynn1]

Hey lady. I thought about you recently and wondered how you are. I'm glad you're feeling better - that makes a world of difference. I agree with you that NC isn't for everyone. Sometimes limited contact works much better while also trying to get your mind right. a friend of mine said sometimes talking works better. And it's true when you're in contact it makes you feel better. There was a day I was so torn up then as soon as we were in contact I immediately felt better. It was like a switch went on and made things better. But I think the point is not to stay in contact just keep it limited. When it comes down to it, everyone needs to find and do what works for them. There is no rule on healing. Find what works for you and do that.

 

my same friend said sometimes it's loneliness and not really about the man. Guess that's why sometimes having someone new helps heal. And sometimes it doesn't cause it can really be about that man.

 

I get sad too about not having a partner. And there isn't anything wrong with feeling that. Most want / need someone to connect, love and share life with. i think we're wired that way so that's nothing to feel guilty of. And I hate when folks chime in with the focus on you, work on yourself, spend time with friends, blah, blah blah. I focus on me, spend time with friends, love myself and still feel sad about not having someone to share life with. Sometimes one has nothing to do with the other.

 

I'm hoping 2017 is the year for happiness, contentment, love and peace.