chronalax Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 this is my first poem, so yea any sugestions (other then spelling) would be nice 8) alone i feel. Alone i feel when im with you, alone i feel when i am not, but please go away, leave me,so alone is all i got, i cant be near you, but to be separated is worse, all alone i wait, for a chance to show my worth, you tore my heart out so i cant feel, leave me bleeding trying to heal, as my wound gets coverd i see you near, and as you come a single tear, knowing that i love you so, the longing for you begins to grow, i look down then at her face, she made it clear i know my place, i turn around and say goodbye, she begs me to stop as she crys, i jumped off before her eyes, its not her fault i couldnt heal, i did this so, alone i'd no longer feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelpmePLz Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 it ok do a little work on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronalax Posted March 26, 2005 Author Share Posted March 26, 2005 k thanx, yea ima send it to my sis so she can fix it up a bit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelpmePLz Posted March 26, 2005 Share Posted March 26, 2005 its pritty good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronalax Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 thanx again 8) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmptySoul Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 I like the line: leave me,so alone is all i got Empty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronalax Posted April 20, 2005 Author Share Posted April 20, 2005 heh thanx, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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