h0000 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Shocker. Last night when we were about to go to sleep, he said something like "yeah, if there is a hole, guys will slay it. Just have to try it ya know. If there is a hole on the wall, we'll put it in ya know". I don't even know where that was coming from. I asked him if he was joking, and he said "nah.." I was like , and I said you are a guy too? He replied "nah I'm different. " But I mean,how can he be that different.. At that point I really don't know if that's a joke or not. Because he shares house with other women! (we don't live together) I am somehow insecure about that situation, and he knows it. So last night, after this incident, I got pissed/upset, and said "why are you telling me this? you live with other women!" He immediately said "ohhhh sh*t. no I was joking!" But I wasn't that convinced. Which part of it is remotely funny? So yeah, I'm still not feeling well today about this, maybe because of my insecurity regarding his female housemates as well. My guy friend said it sounds like a joke but a bad one. What do you guys think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 He's not wrong. My girlfriend won't go with me to doughnut shops anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I would be upset, too. How long have you been together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0000 Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 one year. so it's serious. He's a nice guy though, never cheated and says never will cheat on me either.. It literally what the F when he said that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 If you otherwise trust him, I would not get wound up about this. It does seem odd that he said it out of nowhere, though. There was absolutely no conversation or joking around leading up to this comment? Totally out of the blue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clio Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 My guy friend said it sounds like a joke but a bad one. I agree with your guy friend. However, you need to find a way to address your insecurity issues. It sounds like you don't trust him. You need to resolve within you why that is and what needs to be done to fix this. Lack of trust is a relationship killer. Is this lack of trust that you have valid or just your mind telling you negative stories? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 It could be (very) bad humour, I guess. But still..why would he say something like that out of the blue? It doesn't make sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0000 Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 I agree with your guy friend. However, you need to find a way to address your insecurity issues. It sounds like you don't trust him. You need to resolve within you why that is and what needs to be done to fix this. Lack of trust is a relationship killer. Is this lack of trust that you have valid or just your mind telling you negative stories? well, I guess I don't fully trust him. I fear he will grow feelings to his housemates. I don't know what they do together but I guess it's unavoidable if they have dinner together, watch TV together, talk and laugh together. And I feel proximity = attraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0000 Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 If you otherwise trust him, I would not get wound up about this. It does seem odd that he said it out of nowhere, though. There was absolutely no conversation or joking around leading up to this comment? Totally out of the blue? No joke around. It was like it just randomly popped in his mind? well we were having sex before. Then he did some work stuff then we went to bed. And this came out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 In my own experience, guys who make those kinds of generalities are the type of men to fulfill them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0000 Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 In my own experience, guys who make those kinds of generalities are the type of men to fulfill them. I don't know what to do about it. He insisted it was a joke. I asked him many times already. Don't think I can ask one more time "are you sure you didn't mean it" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I think it's just another stereotype we can do with out. I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds like your bf thinks he's an up and coming Seinfeld. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I don't know what to do about it. He insisted it was a joke. I asked him many times already. Don't think I can ask one more time "are you sure you didn't mean it" Assume he did mean it. Are you going to base your world view of men on one comment? Try looking at this through the filter of independent thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doc Blaze Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I don't know what to do about it. He insisted it was a joke. I asked him many times already. Don't think I can ask one more time "are you sure you didn't mean it" does he usually say crazy stuff. Maybe he says it because he knows he can get this reaction out of you. some guys like doing that to their girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdb740 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 I'd say trust him. Work as hard as you can to trust him despite his living situation until you have reason to believe otherwise. Why? Well he will appreciate that trust and confidence. YOU will feel better about yourself and your situation, trust me. You could constantly worry about whether he will cheat or not or you could try to stop yourself. In the end, he's going to do what he's going to do. If it turns out that he's not going to cheat, then why spend all that time worrying about it? What a waste of energy. Guys do have these attitudes and stereotypes and certainly make bad jokes that can easily be misinterpreted as was the case. It's good you communicated with him and told him how his joke made you feel, but now it's time to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 How long have you two been involved? How well do you know him? Has he been living with them for a while? Yes... I have heard a few times.. how 'men' have gotten off with farm animals.. etc (gag). So... yah... watch them donuts! Does not mean your Bf will go and do anything or anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaggerJim Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 It's kinda true. I've seen some real minger chicks that managed to get boyfriends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Sounds like he wants to bed anything he can, especially his "house full of women", even if he's not having any luck yet. Many a true word is spoken in jest. Was he drunk? How old is he? Hard to believe he would say this to a gf . "yeah, if there is a hole, guys will slay it. Just have to try it ya know. If there is a hole on the wall, we'll put it in ya know". "why are you telling me this? you live with other women!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TiredOfDating Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 Shocker. Last night when we were about to go to sleep, he said something like "yeah, if there is a hole, guys will slay it. Just have to try it ya know. If there is a hole on the wall, we'll put it in ya know". I don't even know where that was coming from. I asked him if he was joking, and he said "nah.." I was like , and I said you are a guy too? He replied "nah I'm different. " But I mean,how can he be that different.. At that point I really don't know if that's a joke or not. Because he shares house with other women! (we don't live together) I am somehow insecure about that situation, and he knows it. So last night, after this incident, I got pissed/upset, and said "why are you telling me this? you live with other women!" He immediately said "ohhhh sh*t. no I was joking!" But I wasn't that convinced. Which part of it is remotely funny? So yeah, I'm still not feeling well today about this, maybe because of my insecurity regarding his female housemates as well. My guy friend said it sounds like a joke but a bad one. What do you guys think? Um, maybe he didn't mean other women......maybe he was awkwardly trying to refer to back door action? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h0000 Posted December 1, 2016 Author Share Posted December 1, 2016 Assume he did mean it. Are you going to base your world view of men on one comment? Try looking at this through the filter of independent thinking. If someone else said it, I would not believe it . I would believe myself and myself don't think every guy wants to hang every girl But he said it...So if he doesn't think so why say so? But again , if he really wants to cheat why tell me? None of it makes sense. But he LOVES Seinfeld alright lol How long have you two been involved? How well do you know him? Has he been living with them for a while? Yes... I have heard a few times.. how 'men' have gotten off with farm animals.. etc (gag). So... yah... watch them donuts! Does not mean your Bf will go and do anything or anyone. I see those stories how men sometimes bang ugly chicks but that's normally out of desperation and those men are always single . Hardly ever see a guy who has a pretty GF but also wants to bang ugly chicks? Sounds like he wants to bed anything he can, especially his "house full of women", even if he's not having any luck yet. Many a true word is spoken in jest. Was he drunk? How old is he? Hard to believe he would say this to a gf . If he meant it, that'd sound really out of his character and yeah , why would he say it to me out loud.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 First off he is not correct. Men have standards and self respect too. Guys say extremely stupid things trying to be funny. Just talk to him and let him know you are not one of his buddies and you do not appreciate that kind of talk around you and if he actually feels that way you may have misjudged him. Then watch him back peddle away from his comment with a worried look on his face. One year isn't enough for some guys to stop putting their foot in their mouth. Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 If this is out of character, then maybe he was just joking. But definitely pay attention. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted December 1, 2016 Share Posted December 1, 2016 It just a 'figure of speech' . . not to be taken literally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 He's not wrong. My girlfriend won't go with me to doughnut shops anymore. If the doughnuts are moving, I recommend finding another doughnut shop... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coldarmy13 Posted December 2, 2016 Share Posted December 2, 2016 I was going to say it was a lapse of judgement post sex, it happens. I'd let it that particular comment bother you that much. Sounds like he's well aware you didn't like it. Does seem like it magnified a previously seeded issue of his living arrangement though. That's more what I'd think about if that bothers you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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