pelm Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. I am 23 and he is 27. We met the day I moved to my apartment. It was cute and everything.i asked him to help me move and he said yes I took him to get something to eat as a thank you and the rest was history. Less than a month later we were dating. But because of my previous relationship I said I wasn't introducing him to my family until he made it to a year. Well 3-5 months in the relationship I caught him messaging other females telling them he wanted to fly then out and take them to dinner and just a bunch of nonsense. So I stopped talking to him for about a week or so and then we got back on good terms to find out he hid the fact that he had a 2 year old daughter and he had lied about her. So we move past that . My problem is I don't trust him. Since he lied about the talking to other females and everything I can't trust him . I had insecurities From my past relationship and that made me guarded but I told him that in the beginning and then to find out he's doing shady stuff. We hung out everyday when we met and everything. So one day I get pregnant he begged me to get rid of it and convinced me to and I did. He claimed he didn't want me to be the stereotype because I would be his second female to have his child and we weren't married and he wanted that before he had another. . So i went to all appointments and did everything alone. Then tells me ohh I wanted to be there and does nothing to comfort the situation at hand. So we will get into stupid arguments and stuff for no reason. Like when we go out 9 times outta 10 I am paying for stuff! Like GUYS HOW DO U FEEL ABOUT THAT? For a female to pay for almost every. I'm a college student for one and he's basically established and everything. I need to say he isn't a jerkoff he handles situations poorly and he has the worst temper tantrum. He will go days with out talking to me or seeing me but if I do that to him he goes crazy . Now he wants a baby and claims he tells his parents and friends about me but I've never meet them. But he's meet everyone but my family because he always says bad timing for him since where I'm from is a state away ... 3-4 hours... What do I do ? Should I stay with someone who lied and has these temper tantrum? Am I being treated like a side chick ? Help please ! What's your opinion or what should I do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Do NOT have another pregnancy with this man. He's not devoted to you, he's not married to you, he's not a good life mate, he's going to be a dead beat dad if you break up. Get away from him, he sounds like the worse kind of person to fall in love with. You sound like you don't even LIKE him never mind love him so why would you have a second baby (first one terminated) with him. What makes now any more better then when you were pregnant before? Value yourself enough to get away from him, heal, finish school and then find a good man that has your same romantic and life goals. This creep is a liar, a free loader, a father to another woman's baby who he lied to you about. Gah! He is low value and not worth risking being a single mother for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moodindigo91 Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Break up with him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trickykid Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 I would be embarrassed if my girlfriend payed all of the time when we went out, it wouldnt be a problem on occasion but if it was a regular thing where my girlfriend was paying I dont think I would go out. This guy is using you and messing you about, I think you kind of dodged a bullet not having the baby, so dont have another with him, sounds like he will just leave you with it and move on. You would be doing a children a favour by not having them with him. I would say dump him and find someone better, who treats you right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 My problem is I don't trust him. ^ There's your answer in a nutshell. You can't possibly sustain a healthy relationship without both love and trust, and if you're staying because you feel you can change/fix him, you're wrong. If you had a friend or relative who was in this same situation, what would you offer for advice? In any event, it's time to recognize your self worth before you end up drowning...so to speak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melancholy123 Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 He sounds like a liar, a sneak and can't be trusted. Add in the fact he sounds like a jerk and a loser. Surely you have more going for you than to feel you need to put up with someone like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gigi0213 Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Trust takes time to built and the person would have to earn it back if they really wanted the relationship to work . If you really love this guy then yes go for it and take a chance see if there will be change , communicate with him how you feel and listen to how he feels . Communication is a must , most men don't like when their girlfriends get an attitude or raise their voice , I know my boyfriend doesn't .. men like calm . He does sound like a liar and someone who can't be trusted ^ but if this is the man you want and want to be with then you guys are going to have to sit down and talk about the situation, although it may bother you try not to bring it up so much Bc men hate that , imagine you were in his situation what would you do ? Sometimes try to be in your partners shoes see it from their point of view , what would you want to happen . Have him imagine himself in ur shoes and see it how you see it . How would he feel if you happen to text other men and then finding out you have a 2 year old daughter . A man who begs for you to get rid of the baby is a must NO . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas1984 Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Hello pelm, thanks for your sharing ;-) I would like to ask you: Do you feel comfortable in this kind of situations? If it's no, why do you stay in this vicious circle? If he has used to lie you, why do you accept this kind of relationship? Because it's the better way to develop the lack of self-trust in the long term. I think that you want to be happy, right? So ask to yourself if it's a good idea to keep contact with him ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 "... he has the worst temper tantrum. He will go days with out talking to me or seeing me" This, and this alone, is enough to tell you, Pelm, to get away from this individual. What you describe is abusive, not just the raging, but the "silent treatment" too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catfeeder Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 I can only speak for myself, and I would have dumped this guy after your first paragraph. You recognize that you can't trust him, so why would you consider him good enough to continue seeing? We never get any wasted time back to live over again. These could be your best years: spend them wisely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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