bots10 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Little over 4 months now since my girlfriend cheated on me and left after 5 years, 4.5 were living together. Had a few stints of no contact, but then times would come where I just break down. She moved in with the guy she cheated on me with. Needless to say I know she moved on. I as well have been trying and thought up till Friday I really beat this and was moving on for good. Now i haven't seen her since she left 4 months ago. She refused to talk to me or even answer my texts for that matter. Never an answer, just ignored me completely. Some times she would text me if she wanted to make sure our financial was getting figured out, but I could never keep on topic. So Friday she sends me a text in the morning asking if I got the car registered in my name yet. Did not answer her (it was 2 weeks prior that was the last time I tried to contact her). 5 hours later she try to call me. I ignore it again. A half hour later she shows up at my house and we handle the car thing but then something weird happened, she stayed and we talked outside for a couple hours and she was laughing and giggling.. Etc. She asked me if I wanted my radar detector back, as well and some wheels and tires I bought for her a few months before she left. Of course I denied. We just kinda caught up and what not. She told me her friend sends her pics of me all the time, and she knew a lot more about me then I though. It then started raining and she started walking to her car, at which point I asked if she wanted a hug. She stopped, turned around with one of those really cute girly smiles and eyes wide open walks back up to me and hugged me for like 30 seconds. She got back in her car and left. 2 hours later I sent her a text.. No response. 2 hours after that I sent another one.. No response. Saturday morning at 3am as I was getting up to hike I shot her another message... Of course nothing. So I decided I would once again send her another message today at like 1030am...Surprised, no response. In that last message I told her I was going to back off again. So I need to do so and stop trying to contact her. I just don't know what to do any more. I've been on dates, talked to other girls. Just nothing makes me even feel remotely close like I did with her. There was such a feeling of connection when I saw her Friday, and could tell she felt it as well. I know this girl so well after 5 years and know what I saw from her body language. Where do I go from here.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymore Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Uh, she cheated on you. Where do you go? You go to heal, and then go to a woman who isn't a ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 She has cheated on and disrespected you. What's worse, is that she is living with the guy. Dude, where's your self respect! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shessofly Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Have you squared everything away with the financials? If so it's time to go no contact so you can get over her (as in block her). She still with the guy she cheated on you with and is ignoring you. Why do you continue to text? You won't find anyone interesting as long as you continue to hang on. Knock that pedestal out from under her, she's not deserving of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Why are you trying to hold onto someone who cheated, left you and moved in with the guy she cheated on you with??? Yeah, you feel a connection. So does she. To the guy she's living with. Sorry if that sounds mean, but I don't know how much clearer it needs to be that she doesn't want to come back to you. And, why do you want her anyway? She cheated and moved in with the other guy! Don't you want a woman who will be loyal and who would never put you through the misery this woman has put you through? Stop trying to get her back because she is no prize. Instead, take time off for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Almira23 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 So she cheated on you, dumped you, and moved in with the man she cheated on you with? And you are wondering how to get her back and if her showing up to your house means that she still cares for you? Uhhh... what? I understand that you are hurting man, but this woman disrespected the boundaries of your relationship and fooled around with someone else. She showed up to your house because she needed you to do a favor for her relating to the car. This wasn't some opportunity that she was trying to use to rekindle anything. You should be furious at her. Seek a woman who won't cheat on you and actually treat your relationship with respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I agree with everyone above. Find someone that respects you. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nihongo Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I agree with everyone above as well. You were doing well until she showed up at your house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Oh, dear. OP, she cheated on you and left your for another man, and you offered her a hug? You need to go to the store immediately and buy a backbone. You are in desperate need of one. She's not answering you because she has a boyfriend. Stop trying to chase someone who has no respect for you and doesn't want to be with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bots10 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Appreciate all the responses guys (ladies). I know it sounds dumb, I really do. I've sat there many times thinking why am I still hanging on. I was doing great until she showed up, then it was all down hill from there again. I guess I just want to feel like I have some sort of control over the situation, which right now I don't. I've been strung along, disrespected and essentially used to get what she wanted. I know she is with another guy, know she is well moved on, yet I'm stuck and that's the part I don't get. I wanted to think of something to send that is kind of opposite of what I've been saying the past 4 months, almost something mean in a sense. Just so I can have some sort of final closure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quidam Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Can you please take whats left of your dignity and start manning up. -No contact ever again -If she offers you to give you stuff back ask her to drop it at a friends and take everything you can out of the guilt she might feel Seriously you gave the girl a effing hug?! Dude reality check she cheated on you she moved with the guy she pretty much did everything she could to disrespect and f*kk you over and all you could do is hug her and text her like a mad man hours after hours. Lose her number, start working on you improve has much as you can so if ever she comes back begging you will: Realize you are worth much more and slam that door at her face Make her feel she fudge up and feel guilty Seriously next step is to buy her flower to congratulate her on killing you spiritually. is wrong with people?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Get all the material and financial things settled and severed and do not stall on that. It's only holding you back, while she has already moved on. Is she still with the new guy? Go no contact and make it so there is no reason to be friends, catch up or communicate about stuff and money anymore. Some times she would text me if she wanted to make sure our financial was getting figured out, but I could never keep on topic. So Friday she sends me a text in the morning asking if I got the car registered in my name yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bots10 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Can you please take whats left of your dignity and start manning up. -No contact ever again -If she offers you to give you stuff back ask her to drop it at a friends and take everything you can out of the guilt she might feel Seriously you gave the girl a effing hug?! Dude reality check she cheated on you she moved with the guy she pretty much did everything she could to disrespect and f*kk you over and all you could do is hug her and text her like a mad man hours after hours. Lose her number, start working on you improve has much as you can so if ever she comes back begging you will: Realize you are worth much more and slam that door at her face Make her feel she fudge up and feel guilty Seriously next step is to buy her flower to congratulate her on killing you spiritually. is wrong with people?! I've lost 80 pounds in 4 months, she's was blown away when she saw me. I've gotten 2 promotions at work. I've been working on myself.. That's the I don't get. I know better yet im still stuck on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Excellent. But I think you should share the new improved you with a more deserving woman.I've lost 80 pounds in 4 months. I've gotten 2 promotions at work. I've been working on myself.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bots10 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Excellent. But I think you should share the new improved you with a more deserving woman. I guess I'm just looking for something I can do on my end that would be like a big you and give me self some closure.. Whether it be sending her a message... I just need something I can say, walk away from and feel like I got the upper hand. Does that make sense? Through this whole thing she has had the control. I've been left to clean up the mess while she is moved on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymore Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Appreciate all the responses guys (ladies). I know it sounds dumb, I really do. I've sat there many times thinking why am I still hanging on. I was doing great until she showed up, then it was all down hill from there again. I guess I just want to feel like I have some sort of control over the situation, which right now I don't. I've been strung along, disrespected and essentially used to get what she wanted. I know she is with another guy, know she is well moved on, yet I'm stuck and that's the part I don't get. I wanted to think of something to send that is kind of opposite of what I've been saying the past 4 months, almost something mean in a sense. Just so I can have some sort of final closure. I apologize in advance for how nasty this is going to sound, but people need to wipe this insane idea of closure from their heads. You don't want closure, you want to keep banging your head on a wall. You really want "closure"? It's OVER. It's BEEN over. She cheated on you. What on God's green earth do you think can be said for you to truly achieve this closure you speak of? That's a serious question. What in your mind is going to give you closure? You wanna be a cuck? Wanna watch her bang the other guy? Because I can't think of anything else that's going to make you realize she's a ho and she's done. Think carefully about this. You were doing great until she showed up. Why did she show up? Because you entertained a dialogue with her. You cannot control anyone else or their situation - you can only control you and your own situation. Entertaining a dialogue with her is saying "Hey, here's all the control I have. Take it all." THIS is why No Contact works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Let the new you start meeting and dating nice pretty new women. That's the best "upper hand' you can get. The upper hand is in your hands, not hers.feel like I got the upper hand. Does that make sense? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moodindigo91 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 It was nostalgia, nothing more, nothing less. You're taking it as current feelings or some sort of "connection" you can't find with other women. First of all, connections like that take time to form, obviously you aren't going to have a deep connection with someone you have only been on a few dates with. Don't be so naive. Secondly, she cheated on you and now lives with another man, the man she cheated on you with. There's nowhere for you to go with her but down, and this whole experience proves it. She shows up randomly at your door after you ignore her just when you're probably starting to heal, ties you around her finger again, and leaves you to grovel after her while she leaves you in her dust. Realize that this is what's happening. Cut contact with her completely, it's a complete waste of time for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bots10 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 I appreciate the harsh words and like someone said I was well into the healing process then he had to go ahead and show up. Just messed everything up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymore Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I appreciate the harsh words and like someone said I was well into the healing process then he had to go ahead and show up. Just messed everything up. But YOU let her in. You did very well ignoring up until that point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bots10 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 But YOU let her in. You did very well ignoring up until that point. She walked up my stairs and came inside my front door..never in a million years did I expect that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bots10 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 As well, 2 weeks prior to that happening I sent her a message I felt confident about and felt its gave me some ground to stand on. Now I feel as though I am starting back at square 1 looking for that feeling of accomplishment knowing that I said something that may have gotten to her... I guess i just d on my want to seem like a push over in her eyes (I know too late for that now), but at the same time don't want to come off being an . There is a fine line I've been trying to walk... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymore Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 She walked up my stairs and came inside my front door..never in a million years did I expect that. She let herself in your door? Who turned the knob? As well, 2 weeks prior to that happening I sent her a message I felt confident about and felt its gave me some ground to stand on. Now I feel as though I am starting back at square 1 looking for that feeling of accomplishment knowing that I said something that may have gotten to her... I guess i just d on my want to seem like a push over in her eyes (I know too late for that now), but at the same time don't want to come off being an . There is a fine line I've been trying to walk... So you're playing games now. Sorry, but that's certainly not taking the high road. You move on by not walking the line at all. SHE. CHEATED. ON. YOU. Why do you give a Llama's nutsack how you look in her eyes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 She walked up my stairs and came inside my front door..never in a million years did I expect that. ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seymore Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 ] I dunno, the way he's painting it reminds me more of this: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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