Most of you will be disgusted.....

[esboogie143]

I called him and he was screaming to the top of his lungs saying dont f'in call me blah blah...and i called again and he didnt answer i ask him why dont u tell me the truth...are u with someone...? He called back screaming telling me im with someone else....thats what u want to know...(i mean screaming!!!) he was like im sleeping with someone now stop calling me!!! I WILL NEVER CALL HIM AGAIN NOR WILL HE EVER SEE ME AGAIN!!! Honestly...I work funny...b/c that has put me in my place to NOT CALLL AND I WILL FOREVER LEAVE HIM ALONE! THOUGH IT HURTS SOOO MUCH!!! But hey...im so much better than that...but in life you learn things the hard way...But i will be okay!!! That just gave me strength from within...now i asku u...do u know whay that gave me strength? I myself dont know the real answer to why it did... Do you think he said that to make me not call him ever again/is it true? I HATE THIS!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

 

Thanks...

[Prosper]

Thats due to pride. Everybody has that.

 

No one loves their loved one to yell at you. I dun like that either.

 

But i rather him to yell at me, than i yell at him. At least i preserve my dignity, if i am with someone else, i wont act that disgracing to myself. At least not with my someone's presense.

 

In fact you should laugh at him, because he is stupid to do that in front of someone important, there gone his good impression.

 

P.S: I rather ring him someday, scream into him in my bedroom and slam down the phone at him, leaving him perplexed.

[brando]

no one is disgusted or are going to be. You did what you did by calling him. We all make mistakes,(not sure if it is even a mistake) dont beat yourself up over it, whats done is done. He told you not to call him anymore, so don't. Im not being harsh ( it sounds it). Sometimes we got to give them what they want and they may realize it isnt really all that. That is why if you dont contact him, or pine for him, you can start taking care of yourself. Look at the relationship and ask yourself if that is what you really want and deserve. I mean long term.

 

Noone can take your pain away or bring you happiness. It is an inside job we are all responsible for. It is not easy for some ( like myself) but it is necessary for living a happy life. People places and things are just that, external objects in our lives. If you believe they will be a source of happiness or completeness then you will always be in an unhealthy relationship. I am dealing with this as well, and i know sometimes it sounds like BS, but if you arent happy with you or love you then you will never be happy with anyone. (This applys to myself as well).

 

Keep posting... and remember take what advice you want and leave what you dont want. The only one that knows what will help you heal is you and God, or a higher power or what ever it is you refer it to.

 

Be well.

Brando.

[esboogie143]

Thank you all so very much!!!

[Mun]

Hi there,

I'm really sorry, I know how it feels to go through something like this. You're angry, you're hurt and you are humiliated. Just remember that you were ok before he came along and you will be ok when he is gone. Like you said, you are better than that. You matter girl... he is not everything. You have yourself and your daughter to look after. I know it won't be easy, but you will heal and move on.

 

Chin up !

[rainy soul]

yeah were disgusted with him!!!!!!!!! What a stupid loser!! He's just a loser and has declared that to the world. Wouldn't it be great if everyone on this forum could give everyone else's ex a piece of their mind! They have no idea the emotional agony we are in and their so bloody selfish that they probably wouldn't care anyways!! I think you should never ever call him or contact him again...he is obviously not worth you. What kind of person screams at another who they at one time were so close to!!! What a jerk! Don't give him the satisfaction of coming crawling back on your hands and knees even if thats where your at right now. Keep in touch with all or us we can share hell together!

[emma16]

I would agree the dumper has no clue what the dumpee goes through.

 

Had the same thing happen but over text messages. At the time we were having a baby and well him and I only need to know what happened to the baby. Anyways, he told me the same thing your ex did when i was pregnant. Only cared about himeself and the bosses daughter.

 

It sucks let me tell you. The strange thing is the ex's new girlfriend ran into someone I know and strated asking questions about me. What this other guy thought of me, if he would date me, if he would date her, and wanted to know if I was dating someone else already, and if he believed i was pregnant.

 

I have never asked questions like that about any guys ex girlfriends has anyone had that happen? Either she is jealous or worried about something? Not sure if anyone has as opinion on that also that would be great.

[annie24]

That just gave me strength from within...now i asku u...do u know whay that gave me strength? I myself dont know the real answer to why it did... Do you think he said that to make me not call him ever again/is it true? I HATE THIS!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

 

To answer your questions... I think just knowing, having the closure and piece of mind are what gives you strength. That is good.

 

As for your next question... oh honey... um... I think he said all that stuff because he doesn't want you to call him. Very straightforward. Don't call him anymore. Delete his numbers. If you have something to say to him, write a letter, and don't send it. Or, post here.

 

What to do with yourself... we've given you the lists before... go to the gym, do stuff with your little girl, take a walk, do your nails, read a book, anything, anything, anything. I promise, every day will get easier. This guy --- I don't think he is worth your tears. Plus, you are an example to your daughter! Just because she is young, you think she doesn't know what is going on? Do you want her to be involved with such an unloving, angry man one day? No. So, set a good example, and find yourself a loving, respectful relationship.

 

Good luck! We're here for you!

[ang3l2004]

HE IS SUCH A JERK! Girl if you need to talk at anytime let me know! Just know what you dont deserve this you deserve more you are worth more and you are a great person and dont let him bring you down show him ur strong do not call do not talk to him he will call you anyway give him a month he is talking out of his butt right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh he aggravated me really!

[HeavenLee]

Hi esboogie,

 

I have been following your posts for some time now, and first off I would like to say that I really feel your pain. I am going to offer some advice, and unfortunately it may not be what you want to hear, but please know that I do so with your best interests at heart. Here goes...

 

This guy has been jerking your chain for some time now. We both know it. If you need to be reassured, read your own quote at then end of your posts. It says it all. I know what it's like to love someone so completely, and to want to do everything in your power to save it. I've been there. But you must realise that your constant efforts are most likely only reinforcing his decision not to be with you, and it is only ultimately torturing you. You are trying to flog a dead horse, and the only result is it makes you feel worse and worse when the result doesn't change. So in saying this, it is now time for you to accept the reality of your situation. I'll be the first to admit this guy is a jerk. There are probably so many better ways that he could have handled the situation, you obviously deserved better, but he didn't give that to you. The thing though is this... we all have decisions to make in life. He has made a choice to not be with you. That's not his fault any more than it is yours. That's just how he feels and no one can change that. For whatever reason, he has made the decision to continue his life without you, and as hard as it is on your feelings, you must respect his decision. There's no other way. Okay, he may not deserve your respect, but if you don't give it to him and keep battling away to try and get him to change his mind... think about who you are really hurting. ONLY YOU. He is going along on his merry way and just getting a little angry because you refuse to let him go, no matter how obscene and belittling he is to you. These things happen in life unfortunately, and we all have to let go of someone we love at some stage. But the key is to accept the situation, learn from it, and march on. All the questions, and whys you have racing through your mind are irrelevant. He doesn't want to be with you, and trying to find answers or solutions are doing you no good... again, you are only torturing yourself more. The answers will not make you feel better, or make things any easier. Stop analysing everything he is saying. Does it matter if he is lying or not when he says he has met someone else? If he isn't, then he wants to move on to another relationship... if he is, it is only showing the desperate lengths he will go to, to get you to stop wanting his attention. Look at the facts, he treats you like garbage, and he is blatantly telling you that he doesn't want to speak to you again. There is nothing to analyse there... he is telling you exactly what he wants.

 

I know you are a good person, so don't resort to his games. Respect that he has made a decision to not want to be with you or speak to you... and don't. Not even if he tries to contact you. He's had enough chances, and you will never really heal until you let go completely. You may even find some relief when you do. Accept that it is through no fault of your own, it is just a part of life, a decision that he made for himself, and that it wasn't meant to be. And move on to find what WAS meant to be for you. Don't sit around hoping your no contact will have an effect. Do it for you, not in the hope that he will wake up. Believe me, he is not going to... most people like this never change. And don't you deserve better? Don't you deserve to be with someone who returns all the love you give? You are still young and have so much opportunity... i don't really see why you refuse to let go of someone who so obviously doesn't want to be with you. He may have been nice and loving once, but he's not now. That was the past, but we can't live in the past. What counts is now and the future... and if you keep hanging onto him the future doesn't look very bright for you.

 

Muster up all the courage you have and go cold turkey with him. Empower yourself even more by not responding if he does try to call. What will it achieve? He will only do the same thing. Believe in yourself and that you deserve better. There is real happiness out there waiting for you, so you can hang on to the hope of this jerk, or you can go and find it. Your own happiness is up to you.

 

I'm sorry if this is harsh, but it is so frustrating to watch a smart girl degrade herself in such a way and have so little faith in herself. By doing no contact and cutting him out of your life you may have a period of being very down, but it can't be much worse than how he already makes you feel right? And sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before we can find the strenght within to be able to claw our way back up. Stop feeding his ego and letting him make you unhappy... stop torturing yourself further and do what you know you have to... it's all in your hands.

 

Best wishes to you.

[esboogie143]

THANK YOU ALL FOR UR POSTS!!! IM LEARNING MORE AND MORE EVERYDAY!!!! ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU ALL!!!