Guest Sunflowerrose Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 I'm not really sure if writing here is the best idea but I found this place just now after searching about feeling alone. I feel an unhappiness with the way some things have panned out. I have become overworked, still trying to get ahead financially after graduating, and lonely. I have friends who I barely ever see because I work so much and they have kids, so even when we do hang out I feel disconnected and envious of their stay at home lifestyle and family. I wish I had more time to LIVE. I just imagine a dream life of doing crafts with your kids and making homemade meals. I cannot do that if I continue to work 12 hour days. I am in a relationship with someone who I am just not sure how they feel about me. They don't know what they want for sure out of life-other than to enjoy it. Which is that normal? Or is it normal to be more specific and to know what will make you happy. It doesn't really matter if it's normal or not because I am not like that. Part of me has a mental timeline for when it's time to walk, but this person leaves multiple hints of a future together, we have plans well into next year. But they also don't meet my emotional needs when apart...because we don't live together, we are apart about 50-75% of the time. Yet I go back and forth over whether I am too needy, or is this normal, or is this just not right. When we are together things are different.. they are much better, but not without challenges, but blissful 90% of the time. It's like I am only happy in the moments that I am not alone . It's very confusing. I've come from 4 previous heartbreaks and just don't feel like I can go through another. Thoughts of living a single unmarried life are becoming appealing, yet all my life I wanted a family of my own. This is it. I think we'll just see how things progress and if they do. I don't want my loneliness to come off as ungratefulness. I feel very thankful for so many things in my life. It's almost like it's my thoughts that are off, not my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sunflowerrose Posted September 28, 2016 Share Posted September 28, 2016 So third night in a row functioning on very little sleep. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have another long day in front of me. Thankful for coffee. Im hoping I can get my giant to do list done today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Sunflowerrose Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 I have a plan. I need plans. This year is going to continue to be crazy. But I'm going to make self care a priority. Next year my goal is to get a work commute that is less than 20 minutes, and to only work 8 hours a day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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