ForAnother Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 Just came up with some words that came out on the page. In This Room A hollow bellow Will ring To sing a soft sorrow Core rung And surface strung To strike at what Had made the mingled worse. Sought out To be brought down. I am struck Of conscience For its gone with the calm, but with the calamity In this distant Basement. Where only the water seeps To sink The room To sleep. ForAnother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForAnother Posted March 23, 2005 Author Share Posted March 23, 2005 Its cool, I hope those that read it enjoyed it... just wish someone would say if they liked parts or didn't... or if they think its actually interesting to read. ForAnother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
black_magic Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 Heya, only read your poem today, know the feeling at times (your responce) i think your poem was creative, i think youve moved away from the idea of ensuring the rhythm was right and instead youve chosen to have impact through your words. i thought you were creative, i must admit i did read it a few times, trying to suss it out. i dont actually know what calamity means, so maybe if you could define that i could give you a better opinion. (i like to assess poems but arent sure on some of the words so ill leave that for a while) Kel (ill take a look at some other poems) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForAnother Posted March 24, 2005 Author Share Posted March 24, 2005 Calamity: An event that brings terrible loss, lasting distress, or severe affliction; a disaster Thank you for your reply. I did lose the rhythm, and most of the time I do. About an event that will be payed away by letting it drown someone to safety. Hope you understand it a little better now. ForAnother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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