Samanthagirl Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I am appealing to the not so nice ones out there. I need the weirdest advices. I am a nice person, always was, too nice, and bullied a lot because of this. And suffered a lot when through my life my best friends eventually betraid me in the most uglyest ways. Now, after 10 years relationship with my boyfriend ( or better said ex, but we still live together) I finally figured out why I thought I was goig crazy and paranoid for the last years. Because he is a narcissistic ****! Cheating, lieing, stealing from me, eventually in a moment of rage he even beat be (though he is not violent, but I confronted him with proof of his lies). We are now in a weird situation. He sais he only wants me, that he is not going to hurt me ever in neither way. ...well, I am not impressed by his words. Not anymore. I feel like I went thru hell discovering his real face. I trusted him like nobody else. And loved him so much, unfortunally...still do. But I cant give in, I wont allow myself. One night, when I drank a bit too much (I dont drink often) , I was very sick, vomited and passed out on the bed. I waked up at some point because he was having sex with me. I was too intoxicated and dizzy to make him stop. And, anyway, I passed out again. The next day we had a fight about this. And now, 2 weeks later, I am pretty sure I am praignent (gonna do the test tomorrow, but I am sure). I allready know the answers to this: let him go, move, no contact, stuff like this. But I dont want this nice approach. I want revenge! He is so nice to me now, but I know what lies behind his mask. For now, I found just one good punishment: he is going to be present at the abortion! Not for holding my hand, but to stand exacly where the doctor is and to see everything! I know is not nice, but I am finished with nice and with moving on and looking the other way! No more! The hurt me! He should be punished! And I want to do this in the wickediest way possible. So please help me with this, I dont have the wickied experience. Dont worry about me, I am going to therapy, but there I just learn how to be zen and walk away. I will do that, in my mind, but in real life...I want to fight, no more running away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Have you told the therapist you want to be vengeful ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I am sorry for what has happened to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I'm sorry to hear about your dynamic with him. I've had my fair share of revenge fantasies. Ultimately, those sorts of tactics only give you some short-term relief. What about when you see him moving on happily? Or what if he's unaffected? You're going to want more...and more, and worse, and more, until his misery is your priority. Then you have invested all this time trying to hurt/piss off someone while opportunities for YOUR genuine happiness have passed you by. Because when you do these things, you shut the door on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samanthagirl Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 I havent told the therapist. I know what she would say. Again, i dont want the text book on this, I already know what revenge means. If is for him to move on, than I want him to say it to my face, like: he doesnt love me, or want me, or anything like that. But as long as he is nice to me, but stabs me in the back...I want to take action! Metaphorically speaking...to put him down, on his knees. I cant walk away from this kind of treatment without making it fair! And I am so tired, by my therapist and friends and online articles...somehow telling the victim to...walk away. If it would be a crime, he would be punished by the law! Well, from my point of view this is a crime, a crime of the soul, and I dont think it matters less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 There is no way you can possibly know you're pregnant after two weeks. Even if you are, no doctor will allow him to watch the abortion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samanthagirl Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 I do hope I am not pregnant....but there are too many clues, and I know how it feels like .it happened before, 2 years ago, and made an abortion, it was ...bad, I started crying on the doctors table, because at some point I wanted a baby with him, but I was feeling him beeing somehow fake so I could not make a decision to keep the baby. After we got home from the doctor he said to me: "you should be happy because I am not the type of man that gives you money and sais and deal with it". I was stuned by what he said. I ask him, how could he say something like that to me and why. Then he was trying to making it look like he did not want to say something bad, and maybe he chose the wrong words. Come on! How could a loving person, the person I trust the most in this world, say that?? It was a red flag, and then I feeled even more that I made the right decision to not keep the baby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samanthagirl Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 And why do you say that the doctor wont allow him to watch the procedure? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 You can't have pregnancy symptoms two weeks after conceiving. And doctors don't allow spectators during surgeries! Only some doctors allow the father to witness a c-section but not an abortion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samanthagirl Posted September 12, 2016 Author Share Posted September 12, 2016 Souds somehow funny....spectator... I wonder what was he when he was having sex with me ( uncouncious me!). From what i found out, its rape, but I cant prove it. So...he just gets away with it... I cant prove anything, not my nonparticipation in that night when he made sex with me, not the stealing, the mental torture, we are not married...so how can I say he cheated... And he just gets away with all of it, gets on with his life, like nothing happened. I have to leave, start from scratch, all broken, also pay my expensive therapy...., and throwing away 10 years of my life, just because he wants so. Ok, will go, start again. But he has to pay somehow. Legally I cant do anything. But not all punisments are on paper, are they? If it is a single good thing about all this, is that I am begining to be less naive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Jesus and you want us to all buy into your abortion revenge plan ...!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 The best revenge is to just walk away with your head held high, anything else will only be adding to an already ugly situation. Yes, he did rape you and he sounds like a terrible boyfriend but you need to concentrate more on healing yourself now and getting as far away from him as possible. You don't need to allow him to hurt you more or cause more pain. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ControlDenied Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 He is still controlling you. As long as you allow him to have this type of power over your behavior, he is in control. The moment you truly let him go and focus on yourself, YOU WIN. The best revenge is living well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ControlDenied Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Plan your exit so that one day you dissapear and never see him again. Do you share an apartment? Cancell the lease. Do you pay for the cable tv? Cancel the service... You pay for internet? Cancel it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unreasonable Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Your best revenge is to leave him and live a happy life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Samantha. Life is unfair, a fact one quickly recognises when one grows up. To quote a saying: "some days you get the bear; some days the bear gets you". As the others have said, wisely, the best "revenge" is for you to live well. Also, revenge is a boomerang. It will come right back at you. I assure you of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unreasonable Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 Also, revenge is a boomerang. It will come right back at you. I assure you of that.Very true. Do not forget that any revenge can prompt counter-revenge. Don't start a vicious cycle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 They don't allow people in surgical rooms because of the chance of infection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killyon Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 It is correct...abortion is not a ,sport and onlookers are not allowed. It's not entertainment.. I have an idea...for starters why don't you mix hair removal cream with shampoo and when he washes his,hair it will come out in his,hands...does he have hair in fact....hehe... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
killyon Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 All these ideas are brilliant!! I love that plan your exit line.....something I myself needs to do.. Plan your exit so that one day you dissapear and never see him again. Do you share an apartment? Cancell the lease. Do you pay for the cable tv? Cancel the service... You pay for internet? Cancel it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisii Posted September 12, 2016 Share Posted September 12, 2016 I agree with the best revenge is moving on and not letting him see you suffer.. Move on, be better than him. I heard a saying once... My silence is not a weakness but the beginning of my revenge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gnvrbvck666 Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 Umm... You were raped lady, and seriously ... The best revenge is to walk away and never ever look back. He sounds like someone who revels in the chaos. To be honest... You sound like you do too..no offense. You need to talk to your therapist... Openly and honestly. Like how you were on here. Revenge and having an abortion out of spite and not becuase you're trying to take care of yourself is abusive to your body and mental stability. This type of behaviour is not good for YOU! You should also talk to someone about him raping you. . . If not directly to him. If he denies or tries to fight. Get the hell out of there and call police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samanthagirl Posted September 13, 2016 Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 Thank you for your answers. It was not what I was looking for, but I do understand your point of view. What bugs me is this...moral thing. Why should I walk away? I know that for my own good this would be the smart move. But how about what is fair? Why do people put criminals in jail? Isn't that punisment and revenge? If someone burns down your house, maybe you should just let him be and move somewhere else and start building again... From what I see, for the bigger crimes, the material ones, revenge is what people and society goes for. But for this things, the "smaller" crimes, the victim has to pay it all and the criminal...nothing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samanthagirl Posted September 13, 2016 Author Share Posted September 13, 2016 Made the pregnancy test, it was negative, but I can't trust the result yet because my period was never this late and my body shows ...strange signs. Will repeat the test in a few days. This thing keeps me on the edge, cant concentrate at anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted September 13, 2016 Share Posted September 13, 2016 If you want him to go to jail you have to call the police and tell them he raped you. However you must realize he may not end up there . This is the correct procedure. Don't make a criminal of yourself trying to get back at him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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