Jump to content

EX asked me for sexual contact graphically, and more??

lovehel

By lovehel
in Relationship Advice

Recommended Posts

lovehel Rookie

lovehel

Posted
Posted

I made the mistake of opening up to him and my feelings for him as they were still so strong after over a month of NC. I am shocked by his response. It might be a bit graphic just to warn you, but here it is:

 

He sent me this long text: "I'll tell you what you need to do, I'm trying to help you here. Go out meet people and start having a personality cause you don't have one.Make mistakes, fck people. Have some fcking interest in something, or you'll have nothing to talk about. You're very naive because you haven't lived your life and this makes you do stupid things even though you're not stupid. Stop doing errands for your mom. Buy new clothes. Take care of yourself and your looks. If you do this you'll have more confidence and everything else will come easier. Earn money and spend money so you'll have things to tell people because right now you're very uninteresting and nobody would talk to you unless they're trying to f*ck you. But most importantly, forget about me.You need to move on first then maybe I'll be your friend or lover"

 

I was shocked, it was so demeaning, and felt he was attacking my character. I realized he judges people purely on what they do, not who they are.

 

I tried to take the reins back and responded saying " I realize your spot on. You've been holding me back for years. Will be having fun developing my talents and life for me. Don't think your able to pick and choose when your going in to be in my life, you've made that decision now".

 

Hours later he goes "I'll buy you a drink if you give me a bl*w job, what do you say?"

 

I didn't respond, he then goes

 

"Come on, I'll buy you two drinks."

 

Still didn't respond.

He then goes "nevermind then, I'll ask some other girl"

 

He then hours later send me this blown up photo of himself that was taken by some professional camera at a club, where he is smirking at some girl, looking really interested in her. And goes " you could have this beautiful guys c*ck"

 

It is a complete mind f*ck? What is he doing? At this point I don't want to contact him ever again, but would like to understand. Thank you

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lostlove76 Proficient

lostlove76

Posted
Posted

Wow, what a narcissitic pr*ck. That's horrible. Please don't let him make you feel bad about yourself!! The only thing to understand here is that he's a complete jackasss and is devoid of any empathy. He must get off on making others feel bad.

 

I would block him ASAP. If you don't want to do that, then take his next contact as an opportunity to insult his manhood or something. He needs an ego check.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted

Unless you want to escalate this with no self dignity whatsoever. If someone walked up to you in the street and said/did this, you would fire back with banter? Most would have blocked him after that first text.

Will I give him an ego check and say it was average anyway, not interested. Or let the silence do the talking?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
browneyedgirl36 Rising Star

browneyedgirl36

Posted
Posted
Unless you want to escalate this with no self dignity whatsoever. If someone walked up to you in the street and said/did this, you would fire back with banter? Most would have blocked him after that first text.

 

This. Keep your dignity and remain silent. Your ex is an idiot, and an attention-seeker, and all you'll be doing if you try to put his ego in check is convince him even more of how awesome he is. All you'll be doing is giving him more attention.

 

Silence speaks volumes. Block his calls/texts, and if he somehow manages to get a hold of you anyway, do not respond...ever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
songsiusedto Rookie

songsiusedto

Posted
Posted

I agree with what everyone here has said, but also good job with the comeback about him holding you back for years. Dang, you're quite witty... I could use some of that when I'm in arguments Seriously, though, this guy sounds like an absolute loser. If he's doing so well with the ladies he's smirking with at the clubs, why is he trying to beg your "uninteresting self" for s*x? I can tell already he's just trying to break you to keep you under his spell so you convince yourself you don't deserve better than him, but you absolutely do. Block the loser and move on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lovehel Rookie

lovehel

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks, I tried.

 

I guess I am stubborn and I was going to bring his ego down a peg or two, and give my final words?

 

"why would I want an( his insecurity) penis. Respect the fact I'm living my life or I will block you"

 

or instead of block you- press charges.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Capricorn3 Grand Master

Capricorn3

Posted
Posted
I guess I am stubborn and I was going to bring his ego down a peg or two, and give my final words?.

Just the very fact that you reply to him is already feeding his ego, no matter what you say.

 

Ignore, ignore, ignore. Total indifference is the answer here and of course, block everything! Lose his name and number, forever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lostlove76 Proficient

lostlove76

Posted
Posted

I agree with being silent. I shouldn't have suggested the other. It feels good in the moment to tear someone down who has done it to you, but he'll probably just feed off the attention. Never talk to him again, and that'll show him that he's not worth your time. I think I've read that narcissists hate being ignored.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lovehel Rookie

lovehel

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I hate myself for being sucked in by this guy for 6 years, he used to be sweet and loving, he was never like this. He has turned into a selfish egotistical fool.

 

Even after this there is a part of me that still can't switch off my feelings, and wants to believe this isn't happening.

 

Hopefully I get over this quick.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hollyj Grand Master

Hollyj

Posted
Posted
I made the mistake of opening up to him and my feelings for him as they were still so strong after over a month of NC. I am shocked by his response. It might be a bit graphic just to warn you, but here it is:

 

He sent me this long text: "I'll tell you what you need to do, I'm trying to help you here. Go out meet people and start having a personality cause you don't have one.Make mistakes, fck people. Have some fcking interest in something, or you'll have nothing to talk about. You're very naive because you haven't lived your life and this makes you do stupid things even though you're not stupid. Stop doing errands for your mom. Buy new clothes. Take care of yourself and your looks. If you do this you'll have more confidence and everything else will come easier. Earn money and spend money so you'll have things to tell people because right now you're very uninteresting and nobody would talk to you unless they're trying to f*ck you. But most importantly, forget about me.You need to move on first then maybe I'll be your friend or lover"

 

I was shocked, it was so demeaning, and felt he was attacking my character. I realized he judges people purely on what they do, not who they are.

 

I tried to take the reins back and responded saying " I realize your spot on. You've been holding me back for years. Will be having fun developing my talents and life for me. Don't think your able to pick and choose when your going in to be in my life, you've made that decision now".

 

Hours later he goes "I'll buy you a drink if you give me a bl*w job, what do you say?"

 

I didn't respond, he then goes

 

"Come on, I'll buy you two drinks."

 

Still didn't respond.

He then goes "nevermind then, I'll ask some other girl"

 

He then hours later send me this blown up photo of himself that was taken by some professional camera at a club, where he is smirking at some girl, looking really interested in her. And goes " you could have this beautiful guys c*ck"

 

It is a complete mind f*ck? What is he doing? At this point I don't want to contact him ever again, but would like to understand. Thank you

 

Why haven't you blocked this guy? Why are you putting yourself through this?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Hollyj Grand Master

Hollyj

Posted
Posted

Why do you continue to respond to someone that disrespects you so? You are allowing him to see how much he is hurting you. You are not affecting his ego. At all! You are playing into his hands.

 

Block this jerk!!!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ParisPaulette Rising Star

ParisPaulette

Posted
Posted

And you're putting up with this emotionally abusive a$$hat, why?

 

Block, delete, never look back. Seriously, I'm not at a loss that you dated him. We all make mistakes. But if you keep picking the scorpion up then whining it stung you at some point you've kind of got some responsibility in this. Put another way, people who bag on you can't do so if they're just talking to wind and can't get through the blocked on everything now can they.

 

This guy sounds a lot like my first serious relationship. The guy was a total jerkwad. Lo these years later and happily married to someone else I probably couldn't pick him out of a police lineup if my very life depended on it. That's how not important he is to me now.

 

You can do better, so much better. So do so and leave this one in your tail lights. You're broken up, you owe him nothing but silence. I cannot recommend that enough.

 

P.S. Every time you respond to him he and you both know you're continuing to let him control you. Stopping all communication would truly be you taking control. And he would know it too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
j.man Grand Master

j.man

Posted
Posted
At this point I don't want to contact him ever again
That's exactly what his goal was. In some warped way, I actually do think he was trying to give you something constructive in his first message. Then when you offered your rebuttal, he decided to drive the final nail in. He obviously didn't think you'd give him a blowout. There are much better ways to cut someone off so don't think I'm excusing it. Please block his number before he follows up with even more rhetoric intended to repulse you.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Limiya Enthusiast

Limiya

Posted
Posted

Wow, i was in a relationship with a guy who used to speak to me the same way.

He really thought he was something. He thought he was 10 X better than me. I put up with him for 6 yrs too, so i had a role to play in it for sure.

Once i started ignoring him, he would freak out and couldn't handle it. Any attention (even negative) was better than nothin.

 

I'm sure i've heard the exact same speech too. Very narcissistic as someone here already said. The guy lived at home with his mom in his 30's, had no money, kept "borrowing" money too and not paying back. He still thought he was better than everyone else. Laughable really.

 

The sooner you can not react and get on with your life without him, the better. You will grow stronger and wiser. He'll be processed from your system and you'll move on to better things. Hopefully he'll only be a distant memory.

 

Please don't engage with him in any form. As others have said. Block, block, block and live your life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted

Sorry but these retorts are pointless and pathetic. It shows him what a doormat you are for responding to him. You have no standing to press charges, that alone will show him you simply can't handle being dumped

"why would I want an( his insecurity) penis. Respect the fact I'm living my life or I will block you" or instead of block you- press charges.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...