ThatwasThen Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I'll keep you updated I added to my previous post while you were posting that ^^^^ Anyway... yes, keep ups posted. Should be interesting to see how you handle this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfshook Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 Ok, right now everything is okay for me. I am SATISFIED with the situations, and it's not that I am feeling very insecure and wanting something more. Not at all. I just MISS him, and like you said, it's a different feeling from missing someone you loved. But if someday at certain point I want to end it, because if maybe I might catch more feelings someday, why couldn't I just call it off? Would you need to talk to him/her? Well yes, why would it be worse to try dating somebody you allready know,than to date a stranger? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted July 21, 2016 Share Posted July 21, 2016 I'm with lostlove. I can't count the number of Fwb posts I've seen on here where someone has ended up heartbroken. If we're only going by results, well, most of the relationship-related ENA posts involve someone ending up heartbroken, as well. Better throw monogamy out the window! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessielein Posted July 27, 2016 Author Share Posted July 27, 2016 _Recent update_ Wow. Plot twist: My LDR ex has been asking around about me! I was surprised hearing that from my friend who is our mutual friend, because about two weeks ago I was thinking about him and wanted to send him a text just to say hello and being friendly. We haven't spoken at all since we broke up. So, hearing that news gave me some kind of mixed emotions... I just hope he is alright. Maybe I should say hello to him... Maybe. And about this Italian guy, I am now sure that this was not a romantic feelings, but this was just an infatuation or lust, missed him being around. Still, I can't see any potential long term with this guy because of different lifestyle, goals, clearly know that he is not the right one for me, etc. And he made it clear also that we were just having fun. So, I will see how it is going after he gets back here to Germany. Probably I will break things off after a while. Let's see... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chon Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 You were essentially asking for a casual "relationship" whilst hoping it won't develop into something more serious The reason it was screwing up with your mind was because emotions don't really work that way. It's like trying to be good friends with someone whilst not getting attached from being good friends if you take away the sex part. It's the same way when people here tell people to go NC on their ex even though both parties understand logically that being together is a bad idea. As for the Italian guy. It's not romantic feelings because it was like you say an infatuation or more accurately the budding the stage of a potential relationship, if you choose not to feed into it. It'll disappear. Make no mistake though. Had you stayed in your casual relationship longer, it sounds like you probably would have developed romantic feelings and attachment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 It's fine to have a casual relationship now with the fwb. However if your ex wanted to contact you or reconcile, he would.My LDR ex has been asking around about me! I was surprised hearing that from my friend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessielein Posted July 29, 2016 Author Share Posted July 29, 2016 You were essentially asking for a casual "relationship" whilst hoping it won't develop into something more serious The reason it was screwing up with your mind was because emotions don't really work that way. It's like trying to be good friends with someone whilst not getting attached from being good friends if you take away the sex part. It's the same way when people here tell people to go NC on their ex even though both parties understand logically that being together is a bad idea. As for the Italian guy. It's not romantic feelings because it was like you say an infatuation or more accurately the budding the stage of a potential relationship, if you choose not to feed into it. It'll disappear. Make no mistake though. Had you stayed in your casual relationship longer, it sounds like you probably would have developed romantic feelings and attachment. Yeah, you have a good point here. Despite of those "bonding activities" that we've done, I think he is pretty smart, as he sets other boundaries as well (But he didn't tell me)... For example like: not communicating regularly, not making any future promises, and not investing time and money for me. Him not investing money on me is a good way to keep me being turned-off lol. And not communicating regularly reduces some "heat" between us. We usually meet up around 9 or 10 pm. What makes me confused is that sometimes he told me things that are ambiguous (at least, for me or for women in general, as women usually tend to analyse), he said for instance: "I don't know why, for some reasons I cooked you some foods. I usually don't cook for girls." (what does it even mean, and why would he say that, right?), or he called me with a nickname and kissed me good-bye on lips the last time we said good-bye, and asked me wether I'll be here on the 2nd of August, if so I can come to his concert if I want, which I didn't say yes to. Maybe I am just reading too much? The fact that I don't hear much about him when we are not together (out of sight, out of mind), gives me strong signs that he is not looking for anything serious with me either. Today I feel totally cool with how it is going. He will be back next week, he texted me only once while he is away, but it was really an unimportant text. I plan to enjoy it for another month and then stop seeing him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessielein Posted July 29, 2016 Author Share Posted July 29, 2016 It's fine to have a casual relationship now with the fwb. However if your ex wanted to contact you or reconcile, he would. Yes, but it's funny how feelings can change overtime. I was so sad when he broke up with me and hoped sooo bad hat we would reconcile. But right now, I don't even think about a relationship... with anyone. And I haven't messaged him to say hello etc. I don't know... Just not in a mood to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Excellent. Stay nc, it will spare you a lot of headachesAnd I haven't messaged him to say hello etc. I don't know... Just not in a mood to do so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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