Establishing "me"

[koolaidnovel]

Okay, so here's the deal. I'm a high school senior, getting ready to go off to college. I'm kind of shy in school. As in, I find it difficult to express myself besides through my clothing and appearance. And I get so frustrated sometimes, because I'm trying to be different and special and my own person, you know, an individual. I feel like if I'm not expressing myself and my own opinions out loud to other people, then I'm going to "lose it" ...as in, I won't know who I am. I guess, essentially, I don't want to lose the sense of myself. It's so hard to describe this feeling, and I don't even know WHY i'm feeling this. But, no one really knows the true me, and I get upset sometimes that I can't even express my intellect, my real sense of humor, etc. I'm going off to college soon, and I want to learn how to bring myself outside to other people, and I want to learn how to have a sense of confidence that will help me "establish" myself. I can't really say it any other way. I want to know who I am, I want to express myself confidently, I want to be my own individual. And I don't know how.

[Caldus]

Wow you sound too much like me. I'm afraid of talking too much because then I start to lose who I am and just start to say things just so I say something out loud and not stay super quiet. Sorry I can't really offer any advice here. Find something in life that you think would be truly meaningful and work towards it. Meet people who have similar goals. Much much much easier said than done. I know.

[Prosper]

If you think you cant, you accomplish your goals with 'you cant'.

 

You should find passion in what you do.

 

I like humuor and i always find my humuor which turns out to be cold jokes instead. I borrowed and bought books about humuor, chinese taiwanese books, to english comedians' life, on how they cultivate humuor in them in the studios.

 

Humour like many things listed above, must be honed, and practising makes it perfect.

 

If you are determined and passionate enough, you can do it.

[mtastic]

I know what you're going through. I had similar feelings when i graduated from highschool. When I got to college, I basicvally had to start all over again making friends (I go to college far from where I grew up, so I literally did not know anybody when I got here), and though of it as an opportunity to start fresh, and try to convey my true personality and be unique. I suffer from a good deal of social anxiety, so this proved to be difficulot for me, and didn't quite work the way i wanted it to. I was able to make friends slowly, however i found that as far as getting my personality accross, there seemed to be no one person with whom i shared the whole me. It seems like with different friends, different aspects of my personality come out, and since i have several groups of friends who don't always interact with each other. it seems like i haven't been able to get accross the real me, only various aspects of myself as the apply to the people i'm with at the time.

 

I now feel I'm approaching a similar situation again, as I'm graduating from college in three months, which means starting this summer I'll be in a completely new situation again.

 

So i guess I don't really have much advice on how to handle the situation, but just try to puyt yourself out there and make friends with people, sooner or later you'll meet people who you have things in commone with, which can be a springboard for more deeper friendships. Also, remember that getting your personality accross is something that takes time when dealing with anyone. I mean, how interesting could someone be if you have them all figured out after 1 conversation? So don't put too much stress on getting you're complete self accross all at once, just try to meeting people with who you have one particular thing in common with (joining a club or organization is a good way), and the more you talk with these people, the more comfortable you'll get, and the easier it will be to get yourself accross.

 

I hope that helped,

mtastic

[Alabama]

It took me a while, to find out who I was and to establish myself. Yet after a lot of thinking, I finally can. I'm a quite person and still a little shy, but I've learned to ignore many times what I'm feeling...because that's not me. I'm learning to get out of my comfort zone, and a great way to do this is just try. Think about who you want to become, and become that person. Express yourself, it can be very hard I know, but you have to push yourself at times, to let your true colors show. Good luck!