ApocalypseDreams Posted June 12, 2016 Share Posted June 12, 2016 Giving this journal thing another attempt. I've chosen a solo journal this time, mainly due to the fact that I don't want members I don't like taking over my journal. Also, I will probably be posting stuff that will open me up to criticism or lecturing. Quite frankly, I don't use ENA enough, or have the time, to get into exchanges with people I'm not interested in. I'm not looking for answers or opinions, just a place to share my thoughts and feelings. That said, if you find anything I post that resonates with you, by all means PM me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApocalypseDreams Posted June 23, 2016 Author Share Posted June 23, 2016 Back from work...time to start this! I've recently gone back into therapy, but private this time. The public system doesn't allow any choice in who you see, when you see them, how long you see them for etc, and quite frankly I was over it. I see this as an investment, and a waste of time if I am not receiving the right help. I had my first session the other week. I'm still skeptical about who I am seeing, but they were recommended by someone who knows me well, and someone who I really respect. I will give it a go, anyway. I can be quite ly with new therapists as I've had some really poor ones in the past, so I feel like I have to spend a lot of time vetting them. I was supposed to have an appointment tomorrow, but it has been rescheduled due to personal circumstances. I have finished work for the week. I've been stressed out with work lately, resulting in a bit of burn out. I'm gonna spend tomorrow resting, reading my new books and I'll probably go to the buddhist centre and meditate tomorrow. I haven't done it in a LONG time, and it has had a profound effect on my general mindset. It's a fantastic way to round off the week. It's difficult. I always find some of the most productive things for my own well being are the hardest to maintain. It's weird how that works. Often, it seems easier to do negative things or that which causes you harm, rather than doing the right thing. I'm gonna try and catch up with friends on Saturday and Sunday. Gotta do that more often! I'll probably head into the city and meet up with some guys at my favorite bar. Looking forward to that! I think I'll vote tomorrow in the election, too. It's weird, I am a VERY political person. I live politics, but I haven't really given a damn about it this time around. Usually I will be very active and participate in the process - campaigning, working on the day and scrutineering after the votes are in. I used to get off on that lol. I don't care this time around. I'm not sure why that is, I suspect I've got a bit of political grass is greener syndrome. What happened in the UK last year, and what has been happening in the US, was so exciting for me. Then I look here and think "well this sucks!". On the health note, my eating has been *exceptional*. Lot's of vegies, chicken/fish/kangaroo (ha!), eggs, berries, nuts, greek yoghurt. I find diet the easier part of the health equation. Working out and cardio...have to drag myself to do it. I don't enjoy the feeling of exhaustion, and don't get that "hit" that people who are into fitness talk about. Must be natural though, imsuperman made a comment about how he hates every lift or whatever. And he's like a gym rat. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApocalypseDreams Posted June 23, 2016 Author Share Posted June 23, 2016 I may have touched on this before somewhere, but lately I've been feeling a little jaded when it comes to women. I had my heart broken last year by someone I would go as far as to say was my dream woman. She was really special. It didn't work out and I've left it alone. I also had some problems with a couple of female friends in the past year, some of which amounted to emotional (or rather, psychological) abuse. My most recent experiences with women have been mostly negative, and it has made me really evaluate what a lot of women I know are actually like. It has also made me realise how limited many women's perspectives actually are, particularly in how they experience dating and social relationships in general. I'm surrounded by women in most realms of my life, so I receive a lot of female advice. I can't even listen to it anymore. Maybe it's unfair, but I kinda trust men a lot more now. Maybe this outlook serves a function by allowing me to shift my focus off women and onto me. Again, I don't hate women, it's just I'm more critical of them than I have been. Hopefully my opinion will be brighter in the future. Right now I'm still burnt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApocalypseDreams Posted June 23, 2016 Author Share Posted June 23, 2016 What I'm currently reading... [ATTACH=CONFIG]11085[/ATTACH] Was a recommendation from my favorite economic thinktank. And hey, a big up from Naomi Klein will always get my attention! Kinda basic in some areas, but I'm relearning some fundamentals. [ATTACH=CONFIG]11086[/ATTACH] Saw Peter Beresford on a program and checked him out. Social policy is a huge interest of mine, and he's someone with a lived experience in mental health...so that's a plus for me. I'm looking forward to getting back into reading. I used to read a few hours a day, but that's since tapered off to nought with life's complications. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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