Brokenheart99 Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 But of a dilemma. I think I have a stalker and it's starting to freak me out. This guy I talked to on some dating site. Was hardly anything serious. We talked for a few weeks, at first I was kinda interested and playful flirty etc, but it turned out he was a completely different religion and extremely unattractive to me once we added each other on Instagram. I had kinda planned on ending it, even though there was nothing really to end because it was just texting, for a few weeks at most. He already seemed so attached too. Red flags everywhere. Anyway I went on vacation and I got busy and I didn't have time to respond back to his texts so it just worked out that the ignore started. So I just stuck with it and continued to ignore him for days and then weeks. But he kept texting. All the time. For two weeks. I thought he would take the obvious hint as i ignored him for two weeks but he didn't. So finally I blocked him on my phone and Instagram (but it's a public account). That was two months ago. I figured it was done. Until tonight. he tried adding me on some other social media again. To which I blocked him again. It's been two months ive ignored him. We weren't in a relationship nor have we met. We barely talked. Just texted. Fortunately he lives in a different state. But he seems crazy already so I don't know. I'm not sure what else to do? It's a bit worrisome now.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicman777 Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 This is definitely the behavior of a stalker and a possible disturbed person. It's one thing to maybe get confused signals from a girl, if they are playing games or keep stringing you along. But you clearly weren't interested in him...after two months of zero contact and being blocked on websites, one should take the hint. Maybe he didn't, but there's the chance he's a weirdo, too. So I am minoring in Security Risk Analysis alongside my regular degree and I know a thing or two about this field. This is called "cyberstalking". And it is also known a crime in the United States. I wouldn't take any chances with this guy. The likely possibility is he is a lifeless loser hiding behind a computer screen that likes to bully people. But I wouldn't take any risk. My advice; take screenshots/backups of all your communications with him (including him following you on social networks two months after your last conversations) and call the local police department. I'm not joking; give them a call. Police have cyber security units these days. Tell them everything; he hasn't threatened you or anything, but you keep blocking him and he continues to follow you on social networks and things and you are worried about his behavior. They will deal with everything. You should read this site: There's tons of good information on there you should digest for your safety. I think it's very important that this guy never knows your exact location. It's also got very practical advice; turn on all the privacy settings on social networks, never accept request from strangers (it could be him in disguise). And get your number and address delisted from places like the Yellow Pages. Just don't screw around with this. Two months is too long to be keeping this attitude up. I wouldn't talk to him/threaten him in any way. I would just report his *** immediately and let the law handle him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted April 14, 2016 Author Share Posted April 14, 2016 Man the police? I don't want to ruin his life, he's in graduate school, so I figured he must be somewhat logical? I was thinking of maybe breaking contact and just asking him to leave me alone and that I'm not interested etc. But I'm not sure if breaking no contact is a good idea with such people. I mean I think he is viewing my Instagram as I posted something today and it's a public account. So hence he saw my post, and reached out. So I made it private now but I don't know..I just want him to leave me alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candace15 Posted April 14, 2016 Share Posted April 14, 2016 I wonder if he would leave you alone if you acted like you were In a relationship with someone else? Im not sure if this is a good idea or a bad one though. I dont know much about stalking.. you should definitely do some research and not take this situation lightly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicman777 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Man the police? I don't want to ruin his life, he's in graduate school, so I figured he must be somewhat logical? He put himself in this situation. Like I said, what he is doing is illegal. You don't have to feel sorry for him. A logical person doesn't behave this way. He shouldn't stalk people on the internet like this, and who knows how many others he's doing it to. Number one - do you know he's in grad school? How do you know he's not lying to gain sympathy points? Second - if he really is a college grad, well, look at history. Some of the most dangerous criminals are intelligent/scholarly people... You shouldn't be restricted to post things on your Instagram. I think it's ridiculous that he is watching it like a hawk for something to get posted publicly. I was going to recommend messaging him at first, but, I think that's risky. I think that's giving him control over the situation and attention. But if you want, you can do that. In that case, I would send him some kind of formal message/email and tell him to knock it off with following you on these social networks or you're calling the police. In fact, you can even scare him, say you already contacted the police but they asked you to resolve the situation before they decide to act because it's a very serious offense. Tell him you have back ups of your conversations sent to the local PD and if he continues following on social networks you are going to call the police back to pursue a case against him for cyberstalking and harassment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 That's a great first step...check all your social media and up the privacy settings. You never met in person? Although it's popular, meet first rather than have a social-media-contacts relationship. He sounds more like a clinger, texter, heavy social media user. So I made it private now but I don't know..I just want him to leave me alone.I think I have a stalker and it's starting to freak me out. This guy I talked to on some dating site. we added each other on Instagram. there was nothing really to end because it was just texting. and continued to ignore him . But he kept texting. So finally I blocked him on my phone and Instagram. he tried adding me on some other social media again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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