Somewhere in between indifference, confusion, and sadness

[Ksol9]

Haven’t been here in what feels like forever. This place used to be a safe haven for me. I stopped writing for some time because coming here would evoke memories of my distant past. I was just getting ready for bed and then I thought it would be nice to write in my journal again. Who says I have to associate this place with my painful past?? That’s not what my life is about anymore. This place can be a safe place still. So here I am...still in one piece and with a smile on my face.

 

The last few months have been good. My career in real estate is in motion. Family is great. I don’t really have any complaints. I’m sure I could find some, but I don’t want to bore you. I’m just happy with where I am and what I’m doing right now in my life. Well, there is this one thing that has been gnawing at me ever so slightly though. Dating. I haven’t dated at all. Haven’t even entertained the idea. I didn’t want to really. I’ve been spending my days taking care of myself. Doing what I want to do , going where I want to go, not worrying about anything other than ME. It’s been quite nice, but, and that should be a big but, ultimately I do want to find the right person. I dream of marriage and children one day. I know I’m not getting any younger, but I just want to savor my independence just a bit longer before I get back into the thought of allowing someone in my life. I’m making baby steps and lately I’ve been thinking about how nice it would be to have a boyfriend or even to be in love. I’d be lying if I didn’t say fear also plays a role in my reluctance. I even wonder if I’ll ever find love again. I try not to think about it too much. I also want to work out all the kinks before I open the doors. I’ve learmed so much and have rediscovered myself all over again. I’m still learning to trust myself and I guess when the time is right, I’ll know.

[Ksol9]

I haven’t been sleeping well the past few days. Last night I fell asleep really early, so I’m up early. Thought I’d share my thoughts. I’ve been thinking lately how the best decision I made for myself when the relationship that brought me to ENA ended was to be single and work on myself. I’ve been single for 2 years now.

 

I’ve grown so much. I’m in a really solid place mentally and emotionally. The only thing that has kind of been catching up to me lately is the emptiness I feel from throwing myself into work. I rarely make time for friends, socializing, or dating anymore. I’m so focused on growing our family business and my ventures in real estate that I don’t realize how much time is passing me by. At this point, I’ve hit some sort of lull. Lately, I’ve been a little hard on myself. I don’t stay there for long and I just jump right back into work. Not sure it’s very healthy.

 

I still think of my ex from time to time, but not in the way I used to. It’s more about the lessons I learned from it. I feel ashamed at times. Ashamed I dragged myself through all of that knowing deep down inside his actions were clear as day that he was not capable of having a healthy relationship. I’m not sure he even wanted to. I feel embarrassed that I held on so long. Those are my internal issues that I’ve had to deal with. I’m still trying to sort that out and it’s apart of the reason another relationship is not a priority to me. The next relationship I have will be a healthy one.

 

The more time goes by, the more I realize how not only was he unhealthy, I was too. Everything that happened after the relationship ended. I allowed him to make these attempts, to contact me for over a year. I was still holding on and to this day, I don’t know what I feared. I knew I didn’t want to ultimately end up with him. Just all these unhealthy behaviors I recognize in myself now that I can look back with a clear mind.

 

I don’t know what I need right now to get myself out of these feelings. I’ve signed up for some seminars at the realtors association. I think I’m going to use this down time I’m experiencing with work to recharge myself. I guess I should spend it on things I want to do. Before long, I know things will pick back up, so I shouldn’t complain. Life is all about highs and lows.

[Ksol9]

Up early again. Although I’m sleeping much better the past 2 days, I get up way too early. Luckily I don’t have much to do today. I just have a few things to do at the office and then I’m off the rest of the day.

 

I thought a little deeper about what I’ve been feeling lately. I think I’ve just lost some motivation. I’ve noticed I’ve been procrastinating on things. All this time, I had gained a momentum that kept me going. Not sure what happened, but I think it’s because things aren’t happening as fast as I want them to. I work so hard to accomplish my goals. Lately I’ve just been questioning what it’s all for. I hit some sort of standstill with work. I guess that can happen sometimes. Lost my zest. I need to find a way to get it back because I haven’t been as productive and it’s not a good feeling.

 

I recall the therapist I was seeing some time ago saying that my emotions were like a pendulum. Referring to my emotions after the breakup. He said they’d sway from side to side, from extreme to extreme, and then they’d eventually meet somewhere in the middle. That is pretty much what happened. I feel indifferent and now I’m ready for the next thing. What’s next in life for me? Or will I just be stuck here? This middle of the road is starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

 

Maybe I need to go back to what I know is tried and true. I need to push myself to do the things I know have always helped me on the past. Self care, exercise, reading, family. I need to get back in gear.

[Ksol9]

It’s been a couple months since I last posted. Things with family and work are going well. I recently decided to start dating and I met someone who I’ve been spending some time with since July. We’ve been taking things slow. I’m really proud of myself for that. I’m not really looking for a relationship. I don’t know if I have the time or if I even really want to make the time. I decided to allow myself to get to know someone because I started to get this nagging feeling that I was missing something in my life. I was missing companionship.

 

Fast forward, we went on some really sweet dates. Mini golf, movies, typical dates. He’s sweet, attentive, considerate, respectful, and not pushy. Here’s the downside..I don’t think we’re compatible and so I’ve kept things casual. Just enjoying the company.

 

Then something happened and I don’t know if I handled myself correctly. We decided we would go out of town last weekend. This would be the first time we would be spending uninterrupted time together. We were going to stay with friends. We had the whole weekend planned. Where we would go, the places we wanted to explore, etc. After the long drive we decided we would stop to get something to eat at one of city’s famous food trucks. His phone was plugged into the Bluetooth. I’m waiting in the car, minding my business while he grabs some food. I lean in to change the music and on the screen of the car are his messages. Right there in plain sight is a message he sent to another woman asking how she’s doing and telling her how he thinks of her everyday. I wasn’t even looking for this. I didn’t want to open that can of worms. Been there, done that...

 

I brought it to his attention, but because of the circumstances, I decided to put it aside and enjoy the weekend. Which we did. We had a wonderful time. Back to reality on Monday and the messages have progressively been bothering me. Of course it translated into the way I am reacting to him. We’ve spoken about it a few times and I expressed that I wasn’t comfortable investing time and energy into someone who I felt was exploring options. He’s entitled to as we are not exclusive, but I feel I shouldn’t make him a priority as I did before. So over the past few days, communication has been rocky. The whole vibe is off because in the back of my mind I feel there is someone else. I have anger or jealousy or something.

 

I don’t know if it’s just my personal issues rearing it’s ugly head again or if how I’m feeling is legitimate. I can’t even have a conversation with him without feeling like he’s betraying me and I feel totally foolish for feeling so extreme. We just met. Last night, I suggested we not speak anymore. I lost my cool and hung up. I probably look crazy, but I need a time out. I’m not good at this dating thing.

 

He normally calls and texts throughout the day. Since the conversation ended poorly last night, I’m assuming he will give me some much needed space. I’m going to use it wisely. I need to remind myself of all the work I’ve done. I refuse to place myself in a toxic situation ever again. I barely know this man and maybe the messages are red flags. Maybe I’m just overreacting. Either way, I need some time to think if this is healthy for me to continue to pursue or if I should just let him go before things become more serious. Better to do so early on.

 

Any thoughts on this?

[Ksol9]

One thing I’ve learned....

 

Don’t spend too much time or should I say, energy, on things or people who don’t deserve your time or energy. My time is valuable. I had a good day at work, but in between work and free time, my mind kept falling on this new person I allowed into my life. I said to myself that I’d take the day to make a decision. I had already told him we shouldn’t speak anymore. He respected that and hasn’t made contact. I’ve decided to let this one go. It isn’t for me. There are some key compatibility issues that I know will cause issues in the long run. It was short and it was fun, but not for me. I also don’t think I can get past the looking for other options after meeting me. It’s not going to work. As many of you know, I don’t have anymore time to waste. I hope this is a decision I can be proud of.

 

Until next time..

[boltnrun]

The very last thing you need is to get into another situation where you're constantly questioning yourself, wondering, worrying...why do all that again? You lived that for a long time and it was so damaging.

 

I would stop seeing him.

 

And I don't think you're ready to do "casual". It upset you to know he's seeing someone else, which for "casual" shouldn't be a bother. But since it is, I think "casual" is off the table. Not forever, just for now.

 

How are things going with the therapist/counselor?

[Ksol9]

Hey bolt,

 

Casual definitely shouldn’t be on the table. I think it was something I kept telling myself in the first week or so of seeing him. I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable with that type of thing. I know what I’m looking for. I certainly don’t want to enter into another situation similar to what I was in before. I know this situation has crossed into those waters after seeing those messages.

 

I agree, I’m going to stop seeing him. The old me would blow caution to the wind and deal with consequences later. I don’t have time for that. Furthermore, I can’t afford anymore pain.

 

Therapy is going well. I have sessions 2 times a month. I notice I can work through things pretty quickly. I think working with this counselor has helped me tremendously with this. We talk about it and i move forward. This is the first time I’ve gotten close to anyone since everything that happened. I’m trying to work through this in the most healthy way possible.

 

I’ve made up my mind, I’m going to stop seeing him. I've thought it through. It’s not worth the risk.

[boltnrun]

Hey bolt,

 

Casual definitely shouldn’t be on the table. I think it was something I kept telling myself in the first week or so of seeing him. I don’t think I’ll ever be comfortable with that type of thing. I know what I’m looking for. I certainly don’t want to enter into another situation similar to what I was in before. I know this situation has crossed into those waters after seeing those messages.

 

I agree, I’m going to stop seeing him. The old me would blow caution to the wind and deal with consequences later. I don’t have time for that. Furthermore, I can’t afford anymore pain.

 

Therapy is going well. I have sessions 2 times a month. I notice I can work through things pretty quickly. I think working with this counselor has helped me tremendously with this. We talk about it and i move forward. This is the first time I’ve gotten close to anyone since everything that happened. I’m trying to work through this in the most healthy way possible.

 

I’ve made up my mind, I’m going to stop seeing him. I've thought it through. It’s not worth the risk.

 

I think that's a wise decision.

 

Some day you will meet the man who won't have you questioning or stressing out or worrying. How wonderful that will be!

[Ksol9]

I think that's a wise decision.

 

Some day you will meet the man who won't have you questioning or stressing out or worrying. How wonderful that will be!

 

 

I know the right one will come along. I’m patiently waiting!

[Ksol9]

I had a great weekend. I decided to take my family out on a boat yesterday. They are visiting from out of the country. It was the best! So good for my soul. Wish I owned a boat. Maybe I’ll add it to my list of goals.

 

Being out on the water with family was just what I needed. I got a little mental break from work and the little bit of drama I had going on with the new guy. It was beautiful out and the water was warm and refreshing. I really take for granted living in Florida. It’s such a paradise.

 

I had a couple days out of last week that were a little challenging for me. I went back and forth in my mind about the new guy. My codependency was acting up and I struggled for a bit on my decision, but not for long. It took me a couple days to shake myself off. I’m feeling much better now and I’m perfectly ok with my decision to stop seeing the new guy. Just like bolt said, I don’t need to place myself where I will worrying, wondering, and confused all the time. I’m going to avoid that at all costs.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about what my counselor and I talk about. After discovering I am codependent, I find myself struggling to figure out why. I just haven’t put all the pieces together yet and I’m not sure I ever will. I’m constantly trying to educate myself. I read a ton of self help books. I just want to make better choices and my hope is that I can eventually have a healthy and safe relationship. Until then, I don’t know if the dating world will be a walk in the park. If I could have changed anything about what happened recently with the new guy, I’d change the way I reacted. I somewhat freaked out when I should have kept my cool and kept words to a minimum. Although this was the first time trying to get to know someone since my last relationship (2 years ago), I see what I need to work on within myself. It was a learning experience I guess.

 

I’m hosting an open house at one of my listings today. It’s really slow and also not one of my favorite things about being a realtor. Thanks for reading!

[boltnrun]

I'm codependent because (I believe) my mother always withheld love and affection or made it conditional. Also, nothing I did was ever good enough. If I surprised her by mopping the floor, she asked why I didn't do the laundry. If I made Honor Roll she asked why I didn't also make NHS. When I became an adult I had to drop everything and rush to her side or I didn't love her and wished she were dead. And my father who initially doted on me bailed on the family when I was 10. Where once I was the apple of his eye, I was now an annoyance and a reminder that he really should be taking care of our needs instead of chasing teenage girls.

 

I just HAD to get people to love me, particularly men who treated me like I was "just OK" and not quite exactly who or what they wanted.

 

I have no idea if any of this helps because you have said your parents are warm and loving.

 

Was anyone in your life just out of reach for you? Did you feel like you had to "earn" love or acceptance from someone important to you (prior to your ex)?

[Realitynut]

Where is Kso19???

[Ksol9]

I’m still here!!

 

I don’t visit the site as often anymore, but for some reason I woke up this morning and I thought I should do something just for me (and my dog) today and it also crossed my mind that I should ask here what others do on days when you just want to do what YOU want to do! I want to take my dog to this new park the city opened. It’s located on the bay. I’m in FL, so the weather is just amazing right now. I can get some exercise in and my dog can play. I know it sounds silly, but what do I really do for myself? I’m always working, doing things for my family, and thinking about others. So much so that I rarely ever do something for myself. Trying to be a little more conscious about this codependency thing.

 

What are some things you can do just for YOU? I’ll be back a little later to update on what’s been going on in my life!

[Ksol9]

Hope everyone had an enjoyable Monday. I pretty much took the day off since I've been working myself crazy. I really wanted to visit a new park that recently opened. There has been a lot of excitement around it because it's pretty spectacular. The weather was just gorgeous, so I thought it would be a great day to jog with my dog at the park. Afterwards, I came home to some laundry, a nap, and now I'm just getting organized for the rest of the week. I had a really great day.

 

I haven't been to ENA in a while. I've been so busy. It's like life just took over and I haven't really had any time to just sit and do nothing. I used to have so much time on my hands just a couple years ago. Sad that I didn't know what to do with myself. I can actually chuckle when I think about those times. It was definitely a turning point in my life and I guess everyone has to start from somewhere.

 

My sister had her baby a few weeks ago. What joy new babies bring. Her family is growing and I am just overjoyed for her. I spent alot of quality time with my nephew (her older son), who is now 2 years old. He's the sweetest little boy! We will be heading back to spend Thanksgiving with them. I'm excited about that little break.

 

What have I been up to? I've been taking a lot of realtor continuing education classes. That led me to meet a lot of new people. One in particular told me about a brokerage she joined. I was intrigued, so I decided to meet with the manager to see what they had to offer. They are a small boutique firm with handpicked agents. I decided to switch brokerages about a month ago and so far, it has been the best decision I could have made for myself and my career. I'm just getting started with them, but I can tell I won't be disappointed. My teammates are very supportive. I also like that they are all involved in the community and different charities. Many of them are on the realtor board. I'm really excited to get involved. Most importantly, I believe the switch will help me grow my business. I was working independently before and I think for a "green" agent like myself, working alone was an uphill battle. Although I had some success since I've started in real estate, I think this is a much better fit for me. I'm also still running our family business, so I'm still getting adjusted. Juggling it all has been a little challenging.

 

In other areas of my life, I'm not dating. I think I wrote about a guy I decided to get to know earlier in the year. I decided it wouldn't work for me and so I walked away from it. I did hear from him a couple times. I didn't allow it to go any further than casual conversation. Right now, I have submerged myself in work. I'm very focused. I don't think I have time for dating or getting to know someone. I think maybe if I found someone that was just as goal oriented and driven as I was, then maybe. I noticed when I was getting to know the guy from earlier in the year, he needed more of my time. I felt he was needy. It was no fault to him. We just weren't a good match. When he came home from his 9-5, I was still running around and planned a night in bed with my laptop. He called and text constantly throughout the day. I must sound terrible, but I just didn't have the time. I think we weren't a good match or maybe I still have a lot to learn. I know life is not just all work and no play. I know I've got to make time for myself. I think maybe I just wasn't ready. I think we all make time for what we want to make time for and I think he just wasn't for me.

 

This co-dependency thing really gets me sometimes. I've been fighting for the past couple years to me more aware, to be mindful, to change. Sometimes, I am very hard on myself because I just don't know if I am doing enough to heal myself. I know I get carried away sometimes. Sitting with myself, like I am right now, helps. Need to do this more often. Those of you who have followed along, know I went from a relationship where I was basically a caretaker for 2 children that weren't mine, toxic relationship with their father, just an overall yucky codependent situation. Now I am alone, but I do a great deal of work for my parents and our family business. I find myself dabbling in the same kind of codependency sometimes with my parents and them with me. I've struggled to make a life of my own and to this day I am still fighting to live a healthy life of my own. I'm determined to do so and I won't stop trying to educate and heal myself until I do so.

 

I've come a long way and I am so grateful for the journey. I can't imagine living the same way I was before learning all of this about myself. Sometimes I wonder why it took me so long. I wasted so much time, went through alot of pain. I think my only fear now is that I am overprotecting myself. I fear that I am not actually "living". I'm not sure how to get myself out of that, but I push myself everyday.

[reinventmyself]

I’m still here!!

 

I don’t visit the site as often anymore, but for some reason I woke up this morning and I thought I should do something just for me (and my dog) today and it also crossed my mind that I should ask here what others do on days when you just want to do what YOU want to do! I want to take my dog to this new park the city opened. It’s located on the bay. I’m in FL, so the weather is just amazing right now. I can get some exercise in and my dog can play. I know it sounds silly, but what do I really do for myself? I’m always working, doing things for my family, and thinking about others. So much so that I rarely ever do something for myself. Trying to be a little more conscious about this codependency thing.

 

What are some things you can do just for YOU? I’ll be back a little later to update on what’s been going on in my life!

 

When I was single and my friends were either coupled or busy and I had some `me' time, I'd think back to something I read once `date yourself!'

 

What do you enjoy doing on a date and do that for yourself.

 

I might have gotten up and drove to a local hiking spot. Afterwords, treated myself to nice lunch and from there get a pedicure or a massage.

 

I had gotten accustomed to going to the movies alone. After all, it's not like you are visiting with the person you go the movies with, right?

 

I'd cook myself a special dinner, open some wine and watch a movie.

 

I got to liking my `me' time so much, now more than 2 years into a relationship, I fondly miss it.

[Ksol9]

When I was single and my friends were either coupled or busy and I had some `me' time, I'd think back to something I read once `date yourself!'

 

What do you enjoy doing on a date and do that for yourself.

 

I might have gotten up and drove to a local hiking spot. Afterwords, treated myself to nice lunch and from there get a pedicure or a massage.

 

I had gotten accustomed to going to the movies alone. After all, it's not like you are visiting with the person you go the movies with, right?

 

I'd cook myself a special dinner, open some wine and watch a movie.

 

I got to liking my `me' time so much, now more than 2 years into a relationship, I fondly miss it.

 

Ahh yes, self care at it’s finest. I like that saying...”date yourself!”

 

I really do enjoy being alone. I think I’ve posted about this before. I’ve gotten so comfortable being alone that sometimes I think I may be too comfortable. I value my time alone and I think I should start doing things for myself like you mentioned above. Somewhere along the way, I got too carried away with work. Not healthy.

[Ksol9]

I read in an article somewhere and the bells that went off in my head were louder than loud. For some reason this article spoke to me so clearly and the words were put in perfect order.

 

“We expect from others what we are not giving ourselves.” Why didn’t I realize this before?? I still have a hard time understanding why I put myself through so much grief in relationships. Why couldn’t I see through my own codependency? How in the world could I think some of my habits were normal?

 

My ex...yes, the ex I wrote about in this very journal, showed up at my workplace a couple days ago. Can you believe that? We split over 2 years ago. I don’t have any feelings for him. I mean not even anything in between. All this time I’ve told myself I just needed to stay away from him. That eventually I’d be strong enough to forget about him. And I did. I did become strong enough to move on with my life. I didn’t forget about him, but I just moved on. He wanted to know if I’d go out to dinner with him. I declined. I didn’t react or overreact. I just treated him like a normal person. Like someone I used to know. I’ve put it all behind me. I’m not angry or sad or anything. Just indifferent I guess. He taught me a lot. That relationship taught me a lot, so I’m grateful for it I guess. We spoke a little outside. Casual conversation about life.

 

Im not the same person I was and I’m smart enough to know he is probably just making rounds. I’m almost certain not much has changed in his world and honestly I really don’t care.

 

Funny how things happen. I know I have to be mindful of what that could mean by him stopping by and I’m totally aware. If he believes he can fool me or pull me back in somehow, he’s got a rude awakening coming.

 

Thanksgiving is approaching. Love this time of year. Counting down the days until I leave to visit my sister for a week. In need of a little break.

[Realitynut]

WoW! Him coming back after 2 years...just shows to me....what an AWESOME person you are! He's realizing it and will be kicking himself in the pants from here to eternity! So glad he's just a flea that jumped on your arm....and you flicked it back off! (hugs)

[Ksol9]

WoW! Him coming back after 2 years...just shows to me....what an AWESOME person you are! He's realizing it and will be kicking himself in the pants from here to eternity! So glad he's just a flea that jumped on your arm....and you flicked it back off! (hugs)

 

Thanks Realitynut. I do think I’m awesome , but I’m not sure he thinks so. I think he’s just doing what he’s always done. When we were in a relationship and even afterwards, I saw him reconnect with women from his past (on social media). I’ve seen him circulate repeatedly with the same women. I’m just one of them. I don’t know what he’s up to these days because I have not checked up on him in a long while, but I can make a solid guess that he hasn’t changed much. Hate to be so negative, but this is what he has taught me about himself.

 

Another weird thing happened yesterday. I received a text message from his daughter. She said they’ve been trying to contact him for 3 days and have not heard from him. She asked if I could check on him. The children still live with their mother in a different state. I didn’t respond. I’m assuming he told them he saw me because why would she think after all this time I have contact with her father? I don’t want to be involved.

 

I’m so protective of my energy these days. I just closed myself off this entire weekend. I got a lot of rest. I can’t wait to visit my sister. I’m planning to leave on Tuesday. If I could leave today, I would. Work has been very stressful and I think I’m at my capacity. I need a break.

[boltnrun]

One of my exes contacted me a few years ago a d wanted to meet. Our breakup wasn't a bad one (he had lots of personal issues and didn't feel.the way he should about me) so I did meet him. He promptly told a lot of people who knew the both of us that we were "hanging out " together. He even called his former roommate while I was at the ATM machine to say "guess who I'm with right now??!!"

 

So maybe your ex told his daughter he spent time with you. He seems like he's the type to brag like that.

 

But as you said, it's irrelevant. You do not share any part of your life with him anymore and for good reason.

 

Enjoy your time with your family!

[browneyedgirl36]

I read in an article somewhere and the bells that went off in my head were louder than loud. For some reason this article spoke to me so clearly and the words were put in perfect order.

 

“We expect from others what we are not giving ourselves.” Why didn’t I realize this before?? I still have a hard time understanding why I put myself through so much grief in relationships. Why couldn’t I see through my own codependency? How in the world could I think some of my habits were normal?

 

My ex...yes, the ex I wrote about in this very journal, showed up at my workplace a couple days ago. Can you believe that? We split over 2 years ago. I don’t have any feelings for him. I mean not even anything in between. All this time I’ve told myself I just needed to stay away from him. That eventually I’d be strong enough to forget about him. And I did. I did become strong enough to move on with my life. I didn’t forget about him, but I just moved on. He wanted to know if I’d go out to dinner with him. I declined. I didn’t react or overreact. I just treated him like a normal person. Like someone I used to know. I’ve put it all behind me. I’m not angry or sad or anything. Just indifferent I guess. He taught me a lot. That relationship taught me a lot, so I’m grateful for it I guess. We spoke a little outside. Casual conversation about life.

 

Im not the same person I was and I’m smart enough to know he is probably just making rounds. I’m almost certain not much has changed in his world and honestly I really don’t care.

 

Funny how things happen. I know I have to be mindful of what that could mean by him stopping by and I’m totally aware. If he believes he can fool me or pull me back in somehow, he’s got a rude awakening coming.

 

Thanksgiving is approaching. Love this time of year. Counting down the days until I leave to visit my sister for a week. In need of a little break.

 

Good for you! It sounds as though you are in a really good place, and you responded to your ex perfectly. I think you're right, his request for dinner was just him "circulating" among the various women he's had in his life -- mine was like that, too -- went back and forth from his previous ex, to me, to her, to someone else, to me, to her, to someone else, etc. for quite awhile. I FINALLY figured it out, and it was such a relief, and so empowering, to take myself OUT of the "queue" and move forward with my life. Thankfully, I haven't heard from mine in ages. His birthday was yesterday, and it just crossed my mind for a second, and then it was gone again. It's a good feeling, isn't it?

 

Keep up the great work, and enjoy your holidays!

[reinventmyself]

What a great update!

Though you'd never wish to go through something like that again, isn't it wonderful to be grateful for the life's lessons it brought you? Imagine you had not through all that, who exactly would you be today?

 

It's as if a spell as has been broken. You come out the other side a better version of yourself.

Things happen for a reason, I always say.

 

I can think of men I was pretty pitiful about. I see them know so differently. So it really wasn't all about them to begin with.

 

You finally get to a place where things shift.

It's a good place to be. Good for you!

[Ksol9]

Happy Thanksgiving all!

 

Im having a great day with family. We just ate so I’m trying to give my tummy a chance to digest before I go back for seconds. I could use a nap right now. Its sunny and 79 degrees out! Really beautiful day!

 

Hope you all are having a good day and eating lots of yummy food!