Early texting

[Brokenheart99]

So there's a guy I have yet to meet. We just started texting, he's out of state for a month finishing a rotation, after which we decided to meet if all goes well. Anyway, we had been messaging in app for a few days, just switched to text yesterday. Went back and forth for a bit last night before I got tired of early text back and forth and called it a night. He's a nice guy, just really hyper and a bit feminine and overly excited(some women dig that but idk I've always liked quieter, manly guys). Anyway, we haven't texted today all day, i figured he was busy and it's still early, I didn't know who was to initiate. Either way, I just got a "hey stranger" text from him. I mean really?? I've known him a day. Was I supposed to wake up and text you in the am like your gf? Is that too needy, deal breaker? And honestly, I can tell he wants the non stop hyper emoji filled happy text spam(which is how he talks). Call me crazy, but I just hate that so early on.

 

Maybe I'm being too harsh, it feels like red flag behavior that I know I won't like further on. I'm already getting turned off. Maybe the problem is me, because I guess I've just gotten so used to being alone that I dislike having to fake this happy hyper convo with someone. I swear, every one annoys me lately in dating, except my ex. He just got me.

[reinventmyself]

If it's not your style then don't fight it.

I'm with you and I don't care for all the electronic exchanges, especially early on.

However, it sounds like you've engaged it up til now and want to change the pace. Maybe he's not all that you assume and maybe willing to adjust the pace along with you. You don't have much to lose by trying.

But it seems that you may have come to some ther conclusions anyway, so I'm not sure why you would bother.

[Brokenheart99]

Well see when we messaged within the dating app, we messaged maybe once or twice in the day, a short paragraph etc(the excuse was easier "oh I don't check this regularly"). So in app messaging was fine, because it was periodic. But once you switch to phone texting, it's kinda hard to explain long delays in responses. And it's just he responds asap and I get the "how are your day" texts already etc. it's just too much too soon especially. We haven't even met. (ironic Bc I used to do this to my ex and would get pissed when he didn't respond, I didn't get it then, but now I'm the same way).

 

Yeah I suppose he just doesn't seem my type, nice as he is. Better to know sooner.

[reinventmyself]

If it were me, I'd set the pace to my liking and see how he handles it. That would probably tell you what you need to know.

[Brokenheart99]

Yeah that's a great idea. I started doing that a little now and I'm already getting passive little snide remarks, sigh. This isn't going to work for me haha.

[Robin2904]

I totally get you, I've been turned off early with texting someone too clingy. I've had guys I didn't text back in 15 minutes get hyper sensitive and passive aggressive so him acting like this so early is a bit of a red flag. It does sound like he is clingy, which is nothing wrong with but maybe you just don't mesh well together. It also seems like you're comparing him and possibly others to your ex quite a bit which I know is a hard thing to break but that's not going to help you. How long have you been separated from your ex?