How much does a guy's body affect his attractiveness?

[Realitynut]

I have a friend guy...known his mother for 40 years...he's my age. After his divorce and was on a dating site, he said, "Am I wrong to only want to date thin women?"...."No offence to you!"

 

I thought....'what the hell?" I had just gone thru my devastating break up....and was thinking I didn't look all that bad!!!! lol

 

But yet he's shorter (5'7") and never mentions the fact that he's the height he is...or that it negates him in anyway in the dating world.

 

About that time, he met a woman Online. She was as tall...and possibly taller than him. She was an executive in a big company. Lived out on an acreage on a lake...with boat.

 

He rented from his mom....and worked as a mechanic.

 

Both in their late 50's. I was told at first she was going to be concerned about his height, but the minute she saw him, she knew it was not going to be an issue. I'm not sure why...I'm thinking maybe because of how he carried himself...is thin...has a full head of hair. She DID want sex with him soon after they met, because as she said (and I agree) you meet older men, and they can't perform in bed....and that was a deal breaker for her! He could perform!

 

After 5 years, he ended things with her, because she was too 'bossy'. Hellllllll....she was in management. An executive. She NEEDED to be bossy. He was laid back, and easy going....and I guess didn't want to be told what to do....lol

 

So. Here is my opinion. I never looked at him as being short, at 5'7", mostly because he is proportionate. I met a guy once who was on the short side. But he had those really short legs, and long torso...and eh. Sorry. He also wanted me to wear my seatbelt at all times....geez....talk about a deal breaker!!! lol

 

When you get older JJ.....Being short won't be such an issue as....can he still get it UP!

 

So be thankful you only have to deal with your height at this point!!!

[Realitynut]

Also....we want our men to be 'manly' men. Don't need to be 'cut' and handsome. Went out with a guy last year (during the ONE month long break ex and I were on) He wasn't bad looking....if you looked past his lazy eye and bald head! He was 10 years younger than me. But he had 6 doting sisters, and one mother who fawned over him....ugh. HE was so effeminate...and sucked in bed.

 

Tom didn't have ONE ounce of femininity in him....and was all man in bed. But then he was a commitmentphobe.

 

 

So. How do we get it all? Masculine...but not TOO masculine that you can't relate, or emphasize with emotions. And not be a 'girly boy'....And not be too short....and us women, not getting too fat or clingy.....???

 

. I think I'm just giving up on this dating crap. I'm way too old for this heartache.

[dias]

I have a friend guy...known his mother for 40 years...he's my age. After his divorce and was on a dating site, he said, "Am I wrong to only want to date thin women?"...."No offence to you!"

 

I thought....'what the hell?" I had just gone thru my devastating break up....and was thinking I didn't look all that bad!!!! lol

 

But yet he's shorter (5'7") and never mentions the fact that he's the height he is...or that it negates him in anyway in the dating world.

 

About that time, he met a woman Online. She was as tall...and possibly taller than him. She was an executive in a big company. Lived out on an acreage on a lake...with boat.

 

He rented from his mom....and worked as a mechanic.

 

Both in their late 50's. I was told at first she was going to be concerned about his height, but the minute she saw him, she knew it was not going to be an issue. I'm not sure why...I'm thinking maybe because of how he carried himself...is thin...has a full head of hair. She DID want sex with him soon after they met, because as she said (and I agree) you meet older men, and they can't perform in bed....and that was a deal breaker for her! He could perform!

 

After 5 years, he ended things with her, because she was too 'bossy'. Hellllllll....she was in management. An executive. She NEEDED to be bossy. He was laid back, and easy going....and I guess didn't want to be told what to do....lol

 

So. Here is my opinion. I never looked at him as being short, at 5'7", mostly because he is proportionate. I met a guy once who was on the short side. But he had those really short legs, and long torso...and eh. Sorry. He also wanted me to wear my seatbelt at all times....geez....talk about a deal breaker!!! lol

 

When you get older JJ.....Being short won't be such an issue as....can he still get it UP!

 

So be thankful you only have to deal with your height at this point!!! . Hair has become scarce nowadays.

[John John]

 

So. How do we get it all? Masculine...but not TOO masculine that you can't relate, or emphasize with emotions. And not be a 'girly boy'....And not be too short....and us women, not getting too fat or clingy.....???

 

lol I rest my case. At least you have the courage to say what almost all other women think. You also proved that this is something that does NOT become less of a problem as we get older. It's all good though Reality, I still love ya. You women can't help yourselves, just the way we men can't help ourselves with other things.

 

But anyone who denies height is an issue is just full of sh*t. I take issue when people try to sugarcoat it. I'll deal with it just like I have been dealing with it...but let's all be honest!

[Realitynut]

LOL....JJ....but YOU'RE not TOO short!!!! hahahaha....

 

Too short...is different to everybody. Too short for me is 5'6" or less. I prefer 5'10". But let me tell ya.....the guy who was 5'8".....our lips met perfectly while standing! lol And I'm only 5'3". I dated a guy who was 5'6" once (it was so long ago....I can't remember) but whenever I looked at him, I felt I was looking down at him. Maybe I had on heels...don't know. I guess the bigger question is....how is he built?

 

Skinny, slender (ie scrawny...lol) doesn't do it for me. He has to WEIGH more than ME! lol

[milly007]

If a guy is healthy, sweet, kind and funny, he'll have my attention. I won't notice a guy because of his physique, however someone within my height range does play a role in my decision. I'm 5'9", so dating someone who is 5'5" wouldn't be for me.

 

But like many others have mentioned here, to each their own. Some women look at physique, some don't. Muscles don't cut it for me, but healthy does. Personality seems to influence whether or not I'm attracted to someone at the end of the day. Lots of muscly guys and healthy guys out there, but I'm looking for the sweetheart in the crowd.

 

However, I will say this, because what RealityNut (I think it was the "He has to weigh more than me" comment) posted above made me think of this: After having many drinks at a bachelorette party once years ago, a friend of mine said: "My guy can definitely get in my pants; he just better not be able to wear them". Everyone had the biggest laugh. She was adamant that no guy she was with weigh less than her. Although I could appreciate where she's coming from, I'm not sure if that's a deal breaker for me. But then again, upon reflection, I have yet to date a guy who does weigh less than me.

[LoveSoDeep]

This doesn't affect you and I as much because were not that short. We're like low average lol slightly short, perhaps.

 

I think almost all women don't want to date someone shorter than them, and high heels are very important to many women too (don't get me started lol). The hard (somehat arbitrary) cutoff seems to be about 5'7/5'8". Below 5'7", and you'll see many 5'1" women rejecting the poor guy when at, say, 5'6", he's still plenty tall for her.

 

Height is probably the most important component of attraction to 9/10 women, yet very few are willing to admit it because they're trying to be politically correct and not be mean (which I understand). It's almost like a basic indicator of manliness or lack thereof in their eyes (even though I'm very...manly in other ways ). That's what hurts sometimes. But their loss...and attraction isn't always fair.

 

ITIC, for the record, this isn't directed at you, this is a general comment Im still taller than you in heels hehe so we're good 8)

 

Hi JJ!

 

Listen I can't deny that most women have a magic number for height....it happens. I think OLD makes it worse because you are basically forced to enter a preference when you search. Then when you see there's still plenty to pick from you feel justified a little...and this works for (and against) both sexes.

 

However, every woman will have different preferences...there are certainly women out there who are more than happy with a guy of 5'8" and the fact that you aren't finding many might mean that you are just more attracted to the type of women who are not attracted to you. It's like when a obese man wants to date slender women (and we're not talking about you here it's just an example we all know you are not overweight) it's going to be hard for him to find that match because let's face it fit people like to be with other fit people. If you have your heart set on something that is that unlikely you're going to be disappointed a lot. I'm starting think you just have a preference for a certain type that just usually prefers something you are not (could be height but it could be any number of things).....I think I have the same problem.

 

Now, we all know I'm 5'1" and when on OLD I set my search at 5'8" because well for starters most guys who say they are 5'8" are usually more like 5'6" so I'm adjusting for that....but really what makes shorter men less attractive to me is the insecurity that some men have about their height. I think if I did a search of men under 5'8" in my area and then checked my messages, 90% of them have messaged me because of course they think for me they are plenty tall. Really though height isn't the only reason I don't respond to these guys it's usually a mix of things which include hair length, tattoos, distance, not looking for a relationship, not wanting kids etc. I have, in the past year or so, gone out with 2-3 guys who were right at 5'8" and I thought all were very attractive physically. One I met through OLD and knew he wasn't tall from the get go but I gave it a shot....he just wasn't for me in other ways.

 

Honestly though, I think there are just as many men out there who set their filters to 5'3" for women and miss out on me...not much I can do about that. I really didn't see you as being too hung up on this JJ....it's almost like you're more upset with this phenomenon for the guys who are 5'6" which is sweet of you, like you're on a crusade against injustice. Let's be honest though, you're a good looking guy with a good heart, you just haven't found the right woman yet.....but you will and she will be one lucky lady!

[John John]

Honestly though, I think there are just as many men out there who set their filters to 5'3" for women and miss out on me...not much I can do about that. I really didn't see you as being too hung up on this JJ....it's almost like you're more upset with this phenomenon for the guys who are 5'6" which is sweet of you, like you're on a crusade against injustice. Let's be honest though, you're a good looking guy with a good heart, you just haven't found the right woman yet.....but you will and she will be one lucky lady!

 

What's up LSD! Thank you very much for the kind words

 

I think lately I've been more hung up on this, but I am trying to just say "eff it" when it comes to height related sh*t. Because it is what it is!

 

I think what's been going on in my mind is that, since I've become much more selective with when I go on dates (and not necessarily in the superficial way, as in she must be a 10/10 - I'm not doing that)...when I see a girl's profile that I like on all levels, and think we'd be a good fit (if you can gauge that from just a profile)...only to come across what seems to be an arbitrary height requirement...it's annoying. I don't have it in me to meet 5 new women per week anymore, and so this makes my "pool" smaller in that sense (and that's on my end)...so for the few left, height requirements can get annoying. But I understand everyone has their preferences.

 

Two of my close buddies are like 5'5". We're all a range of heights from 5'5" to like 6'3". I don't consider myself that much taller than those guys, but I guess I am...we were at a wedding not too long ago, and some girls (highly educated adult women, I should say, to be clear) just started giggling and basically mocking them for their height And these are guys that have helped me with a lot and that I am close with. I was hurt on their behalf (I know it really bothered one, the other I don't know), and it just got me thinking "damn, this really is a huge deal to women."

 

But...no sense really worrying about it because it can't be changed!

[LoveSoDeep]

JJ

 

I just want to say I get that it's annoying. Heck I'm annoyed that men are annoyed that it's a thing....but it just is.

 

OLD is like that though...it breeds this "ticks-all-my-boxes" mentality because that's what we're doing. We've made a list of we think we want and because the choices are so immense without setting some guidelines, so we set some and little by little they get more and more strict....It's ridiculous. I can't tell you how many men I look at their profile and they are my age or older but they only want to talk to women under age 35....or younger guys who only want even younger women. It's annoying to me because I know they are missing out on great opportunities....but what can you do? It's just a preference....you just keep looking for people with different preferences. You're never going to tick all of everyone's boxes. Realize that maybe the height requirement is arbitrary....they have to pick a number and so they do, but maybe it's more flexible than it looks in writing. I put 5'8" (or maybe even 5'9" I can't remember) and guys who are shorter still message me "just in case" and I'm not upset about it I look at them as a whole and they might be rejected for any number of things that the next taller guy could be rejected for as well. I just hope they aren't sitting at home fuming about how I rejected them for being short because that's not the case. Honestly, I say in your case if a woman says "must be 6 ft" you just say NEXT! She's being elitist and that's not your type and you deserve better. And please know those women are the exception not the rule and I for one hate that hey are making us all look so bad.

 

As for the women at that wedding who were acting like children....well that's what happened those particular women were acting like 5 year-olds and they aren't worth your time or effort. If they want to date taller men, so be it but they don't need to bash anyone in public.