She's moving away

[Maldini]

Hi guys, new here (obviously) but I really just need to get my thoughts out.

 

So there's this girl, right? We had kind of known each other casually for a while, but a few years ago we dated a little bit.

 

Previously I hadn't known her that well, but I'd always found her really attractive and apparently she felt the same, because basically a mutual friend got us together.

 

The problem was that we'd been on a few dates, and I told her that I really liked her. She told me that she really liked me too, but she wasn't sure what she wanted and didn't want to hurt me, so we should just hang out as friends and see how it went.

 

So I didn't really know how to act around her. Then one night we were both out, and she kissed another guy. Now, we weren't in a relationship, so she was free to do what she wanted but I have to say it crushed me.

 

She texted me the next day to apologise, but I said she was free to do what she wanted and I wasn't mad (I now think maybe she kind wanted me to be mad?)

 

Anyway, then when friends would ask what happened between us, they'd say that she felt that I wasn't that into her (when I told her I was, and she was the one who wanted to take it slow).

 

The problem is, we have mutual friends, so we see each other occasionally. That would be fine, except we quite often go out together, just the two of us, and sometimes we'll have a kiss or whatever. We even went as wedding dates on one occasion.

 

Now she's got a job for a year halfway across the world, and I'm torn. On the one hand the thought of not seeing her for a year kills me, but on the other it might give me a chance to get over her.

 

But the other week one of her friends took me aside and was like "won't you really miss her?" and I said "of course I will", to which the friend said "does she know that?"

 

What's more, she kind of mentioned offhand when we were at a concert together that I could come and visit her. (I said "yeah, I could do" or something along those lines, because I wasn't sure if she really meant anything by it, or if she meant as a friend).

 

So now she's leaving in two weeks, and I really don't know what to do.

 

Do I just put myself on the line and tell her how much I like her? That would be the sitcom answer, but there are a lot of negatives. She could say she doesn't feel the same way, and then we end on really awkward terms. Or even if she did feel the same way, she's going to be gone for a year, it's pretty likely she could meet another guy. I'm not saying long-distance relationships can't work, but I don't think they can work if they only officially start like a week before one of the people moves.

 

So the other option is, I just keep it to myself and hope that by not seeing her I can get over her, maybe meet someone else. The problem with that is that I really like this girl, and people always say "you two will get married one day" so clearly - at least on the surface - we'd be good together.

 

But I really have no idea if she feels the same way, she can be so confusing.

 

Some days we'll sit up half the night texting or talking on the phone, and when we're in public we'll have loads of in-jokes.

 

Other times we'll be at a party and she'll totally ignore me, and I'm like "did I do something?"

 

Sorry for the rambling post, I've just been losing sleep thinking about this for the last few weeks and I wanted to vent somewhere.

[mhowe]

Use the time to get over her. You are young and the sea is full of fish.

[musicman777]

Use the time to get over her. You are young and the sea is full of fish.

 

This. Sounds like this girl really isn't into you that much, sorry.

[lean544]

Yeah man, this girl keeps changing her thoughts about you it seems. Please, please don't let someone like this waste your time, you deserve better. Yes, use this time to forget about her. This girl seems like she's still trying to figure out her life in general.