Hazyillusions Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Broke up with ex mid Jan due to several reasons, some circumstantial. Our feelings haven't changed. Have still been hanging out with him relatively often recently. Today, he mentioned the trip he was planning with his family overseas. He had told me about it last week, but this morning asked me twice if I wanted to come. ...WTH? I just feel confused. Why would a guy invite their ex on a family holiday? He hasn't seen some of his family for more than 2 years, but it's his mother, stepdad and all his siblings (4 of them). His grandmother might come too, whom I've met and stayed with. It seemed she really liked me. Also, apparently the mother had already thought of asking him to ask me to go, before he mentioned it to her. He'd sent me a screenshot of their convo and it just baffles me. Why would somebody do this? I know his mother likes me but ... I don't understand why he is asking me? Or why his mum would want me to come. We've only spoken on Skype twice before, haven't even met her in real life. She knows we've broken up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 More importantly, why would you even consider this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 It doesn't sound like they know you've broken up at all. Its mind boggling if they know you have and would ask you to go with him. Maybe since you've been "hanging out" again they believe you've reconciled. Are you going to go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazyillusions Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 It's hard to explain. Part of it is bc I am crazy about this guy. So part of me wants to continue to experience and go on adventures with him. I know. It's so masochistic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazyillusions Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 Well he says he's told his family. And I believe that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Well he says he's told his family. And I believe that. Then its just weird of them. I'd be saying No to that invite. Not unless you are a couple of the exclusive kind once again and you've reconciled because the two of you are in couples counselling and working to amend all the issues that have caused you to break up in the first place. If he/they want you there so badly then why go as ex's that can't let go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 They might think you are getting back together because you guys are still talking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 Why did you break up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 I would think of it as a serious attempt at reconciliation. If you accept, it would be cinching the deal. Only accept if this is what you want. :strawberry: chi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 I think it's dangerous to assume such a thing and would caution you, Op to get your relationship status clarified before you go on any holiday with him and his family. It's just weird that they were going to ask you prior to him inviting you. If he doesn't want a relationship with you then the two of you should probably stop acting like you're in one. Particularly because you say this: Part of it is bc I am crazy about this guy. You are not doing yourself any favors by being together in an uncommitted sense. If he feels the same way about you, then he should have no qualms about true reconciliation and the label that goes along with it. Of course, there is really no point in any of it if all the same issues are there that caused the two of you to split in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emptyeffort Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 i guess you are sending the wrong signals. he is assuming that you are giving him a second chance. and if you said yes to that he would know for surethat you are going to get back together with him, without him having to ask directly. imo this is his way of asking "are we back together again?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JA0371 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Question ? Have you two discussed reconciling at all? If you're spending time together is it weird? Do you feel sexual tension? I know for me it would be hard to be around my ex at all unless I had zero attraction for him anymore. Why are you hanging out together..unless you know for SURE you are over him? Do you want to get back together?? I would have that discussion before going on this trip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I would not go. Too much pressure. Maybe mom is trying to matchmake you back together. I would pass. If you want to get back with this guy, do it after they come back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazyillusions Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 So I did end up asking him about it and he told me to ask his mother instead, gave me her contact details. So I added her. I messaged her and she replied saying that she had wanted to ask anyway and thought that by him asking her, that it meant we were together again. Told me it'd be still nice if i came. And also that her mother thought I was lovely. I really appreciated that. Our relationship is complicated and I will need to clarify some things with him. It's not simply a case of getting back together or staying away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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