SunshineHeart Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 he promised me he woulld marry me soon and suddenly he said he didnt like me at all so we broke up. he has a new girlfriend who he was cheating on me with. how do i cope with that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shessofly Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 I know the feeling. He started moving on (cheating) before he made the breakup official. Do not look at any of his social media or try to get any information about his life. Total and complete no contact is the way to go. It gets better in time...takes awhile but you'll get there if you maintain strict NC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 I wish I had an instant solution for you, because I know how painful it is, but unfortunately there isn't one. I still remember, years later, how one of my exes broke up with me on a Sunday night via text, after a couple of weeks of me suspecting something was off and that he was getting way too chummy with a certain girl. I did all the wrong things, called, pleaded with him to give us a second chance...nothing. Well, the following Saturday who do I bump into? The two of them, lovey-dovey and clearly a couple. For reasons I won't get into, no contact was not an option, so I kept seeing them together for a few weeks, until he finally dumped her too. During those weeks, I can tell you that there was nothing I could have done to make the pain go away, it just did all on its own. You think you can't cope, but trust me, you can and you will. Time helps a lot. Hanging out with friends, talking a trusted friend's ear off... And very important, do not let what happened affect your self esteem and see it as "she was better than me". No, it's really not about her being better than you, it's about her being new and therefore more interesting (for now). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 he promised me he woulld marry me soon and suddenly he said he didnt like me at all so we broke up. he has a new girlfriend who he was cheating on me with. how do i cope with that Again: He words did not match his actions so do your best to stop fixating on the things he SAID he wanted with you. They were just words. You cope by telling yourself you are better off without a liar, a cheat and a D-bag in general and then you tell yourself "He's her problem now." Starting thread after thread asking the same questions isn't doing anything to help you get to the stage of indifference to him. Believing that he is the garbage that he is and believing that you can do better then him will get you past this much faster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunshineHeart Posted January 24, 2016 Author Share Posted January 24, 2016 ido know he was bad for me, but i cant help thinking he'd be an amazing partner if the love was truly there. that upsets me. i cant seem to get rid of the good memories, even though they were outweighed by the bad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunshineHeart Posted January 24, 2016 Author Share Posted January 24, 2016 ido know he was bad for me, but i cant help thinking he'd be an amazing partner if the love was truly there. that upsets me. i cant seem to get rid of the good memories, even though they were outweighed by the bad i keep comparing myself with the girl. like is she smarter than me or more fun or prettier. it hurts to compare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue_Skirt Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Don’t even go that way to compare yourself with her. He cheated on you, that tells you everything about his low character. She is now together with a cheater and if another opportunity arises, he’ll probably cheat again. Be happy that this man is out of your life. My ex cheated on me. I never lost 1 thought about that woman. She may not even have been aware that he was in a relationship, we were long distance. I was together with that man, I did not have a relationship with her, so I did not care about her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Some people couple up without getting over, which is what my ex did. As did my exH, now that I think of it. Make no assumptions about when and how others move on. It doesn't always show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 i keep comparing myself with the girl. like is she smarter than me or more fun or prettier. it hurts to compare You are a human with a full complement of traits. Always remember that about each of us. Resist reducing yourself to a few characteristics. You are not an object, like comparing cars or stereo equipment. There is only one You, and therefore you compare to noone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunshineHeart Posted January 24, 2016 Author Share Posted January 24, 2016 im so very embaressed by how it ended, i didnt beg for him back althouh i asked once, but i kind of begged to be friends and he wasnt having it. i lost his respect for me which hurts because i believe he was the one that wronged me in the relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 im so very embaressed by how it ended, i didnt beg for him back althouh i asked once, but i kind of begged to be friends and he wasnt having it. i lost his respect for me which hurts because i believe he was the one that wronged me in the relationship Yes, we've all been there. He probably is more understanding of your behavior than you are of yourself. He knows you were feeling hurt and reacting to the break.up. Forgive.yourself, and let time pass. Everyone has been through a break.up and can understand these emotional moments. It's okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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