SunshineHeart Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 we dated for 1.5 years and been friends for ages beforehand. during our friendship i had helped him through a tough depression because of uni work and stress and i started liking him towards the end but he was always very hot and cold towards me. ultimately he asked me out and it was going great for the majority of time. he moved out of state and told me continuously we would get married and we planned every little detail of it including kids names and how we would move in together soon too. however, out of the blue he said he stopped loving me but that he was falling for me again. he wanted to continue to go out as long as he had the chance to talk to other girls because otherwise i was the only girl in his life. i agreed and everything got better again. since it was LD i asked to message everyday and it was working great for like 6 months. then he suddenly started to ignore me, forget about messaging me and whenever i told him to message he would get angry. i wanted to leave on many MANY occasions because he was hurting me - he insulted me and brought up my past a lot - but he insisted i stayed by promising me a good future together. he used to invite girls to his house and go out late without telling me with girls. he would ignore me for days on end and not make any time for me, but made time for other girls. he called another girl hot to my face. one day, i told him i wasn't happy and he decided to use that to break up with me despite me trying my best to make it work for that whole time, with the false promises he gave me. i tried to get him back and he said he didn't want to talk again. i discovered that the 'hot' girl is with him so that doesn't feel great. he insulted me to my friends very very viciously too which really hurt me. did i make a mistake? do i deserve better? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovelyDani87 Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 You deserve someone who will make you his priority and doesn't mind being exclusive to you. If that doesn't sound like your ex then yes you definitely deserve better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunshineHeart Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 i just desperately want to move on but my heart is still hurting. any advice ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHeard Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 It's rare that I've seen a going from friends, to relationship actually work. It's an entirely different dynamic and has its share of complications that dating a stranger wouldn't have (but also has its advantages). I think you discovered things about him as a potential mate vs. a friend and discovered that the two of you are simply not a match in this realm and yes, there is probably somebody suited better for the two of you. Of course your heart is hurting. The two of you had a long relationship over time. It will hurt. How long it will take for you to move on will be how long you choose to feed this with overanalyzing, contacting him, etc. And you might choose to do those things as part of your process and that is ok... as long as you keep moving in a forward direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teckel Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 i just desperately want to move on but my heart is still hurting. any advice ? you do desserve better. it will hurt for a time now. Is normal. You will have to wait. Time will help a lot. Right now think the wrong things he did and think that a good boyfriend that anyone desserves doesn't do that. And that you do not want to spend the rest of your life with someone that hurts you that way Give it time to heal, talk with someone next to you. And think that in the future you will find someone that will treat you the right way and then you will be greatfull that this relationship ended (sorry if there is any mistakes, english is not my native language) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starlight89 Posted January 10, 2016 Share Posted January 10, 2016 Why are you allowing someone to treat you so poorly? Do you not believe you deserve better than this. Words are cheap. Actions speak louder and he told you and showed you with all those actions that he is no good but you kept giving him chance after chance after chance. When you allow someone to get away with all this stuff then you are sending out a message that you don't respect or value yourself so why would he respect you? Guys like this pick girls like you for a reason.. coz your a pushover and you take all his crap with no consequences You need to set higher standards if you want the next guy to treat you right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunshineHeart Posted January 10, 2016 Author Share Posted January 10, 2016 i understand that, he was my first relationship and i thought we could work out the issues. i really regret all of it, and i want to get my respect back. how do i do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 You dong need to get respect back from him You get your life back on track by focusing on your future and establishing goala and working toward them. You get your self respect back by establishing bpu series that are acceptable.to you and when someone crosses them, you don't negotiate. You excuse them.from your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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