Brokenheart99 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 what are some of the worst and funniest dating experiences you all have had? -I once went on a date with a guy, who told me while we were talking that he likes to lick cat ears. Literally. At first I thought he was joking, but no he was actually kinda serious. Funny thing is this guy was so put together too, successful decent looking etc. convo was so painful after that haha. - recently I talked(thankfully not dated) a guy who used to count the minutes between my responses to him. Mind you this was our first day of talking. Everytime it was more than 15 mins, he used to write me an essay and get all pissed off. After explaining it kindly a few times, I just gave up. And he flipped. I can't deal with that clingy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Oh....lol....where do I start..... Great venue, nice looking guy, going well, interesting conversation, fun. Somewhere half way through the date he went on a rant about honesty and how it's super important to him and how he is so thrilled to finally go on a date with someone who didn't lie about looks, age, weight, etc., etc., etc. Shortly after that he said, "By the way I am married, would that be a problem for you?" .....Took every ounce of self control I have not to toss that glass of wine in his face. I did walk out right there and then in response. At the time I was beyond furious, but now it's just funny in a crazy kind of way, especially considering what a big deal he made out of being honest and how much that matters to him. On first date, had a guy proceed to get into detail of everything and I mean everything him and his ex did in the bedroom and then ask if I would be into any of that. It's what I call full disclosure....LOL Had a guy call and postpone a date because he got injured on the last sexcapade with his ex, which he described in glowing detail. Couldn't understand why I postponed knowing him permanently....lmao.... The creepy/scary part is that he tried to follow me socially coming to various events I attend around town as if by "chance". Eventually he did give up without incident. Had more than a few lay out their plans and timeline for marriage, kids and how they see married life...on date one....kind of made me wonder what is it about me that's bringing that out...... Also, kept calling and calling questioning why I wasn't interested in being a part of their plan for life....smh..... I have many more but I'll stop now.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 This didn't happen to me but to my best friend. She went on a "date" with a guy who picked her up and took her to the 7-11 (that's a convenience store for those who are non-Americans). He then asked her if she wanted a Slurpee (again for non-Americans that's a sugared fruit flavored beverage mixed with crushed ice). They cost about 75 cents back then. That was the date! My ex husband took me to a cheap, fast-food type chain restaurant for my birthday because they served free meals to people on their birthdays. Yes, that's a true story. A guy I dated took me to a bar, then when his phone rang he answered it and then went outside and talked for over 45 minutes. Unfortunately I needed a ride home from him, but as soon as he came back in I asked him to take me home. Then he tried to get a good night kiss. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I was supposed to meet a woman for a coffee. About a half hour prior she texts me and says she is going to the hospital with kidney stones. When she gets there she explains she will be there overnight. She then says they have given her some medication. She then says now would be a good time to talk dirty to her because she was high on medication. I declined, she begged. I just stopped texting her. She texted me in the morning and thanked me for calling her. I said I didn't phone you. She said "Oh, are you sure?" I blocked her number. Still see her on POF all the time. Same picture. Same age, although that was about five years ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arjumand Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I went on a blind date with someone who wouldn't talk to me during dinner because he was "protective of his food." Apparently he had siblings who would take food off his plate and he had never recovered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 Lolll these are the best! Keep em coming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 It looks like I missed out on a lot of laughs over the years. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 This was like one of those one month things or so...We were going to have a movie night at his place. I THOUGHT his place. So anyway, we're watching movies, munching on food and stuff and I said I had to pee and asked where the bathroom was. And he got all weird and said I'll be right back. So then I start hearing a voice, an older female voice calling up the stairs for him. So I ask who that is and he said "I don't know!" and flew down the stairs. I was way too nosy to just sit there so I stood at the top of the stairs trying to listen. It was his mom. She was just talking to him innocuously about groceries. Then he comes up the stairs and hands me a giant plastic cup, like the kind you get when you buy a huge fountain drink. I said you live with your mom? Why not tell me? Anyway, can I pee? I wasn't making a big deal of it, but then he hands me the damn cup and says pee into this. I said what! Why? He said I'm not supposed to have ladies over(I think he was 24 or so). I was like I am not peeing in there. And he said well, she doesn't know you're here and we have to wait until she is asleep before you can leave, the bathroom is downstairs...SO I'm sorry but you have to use it. I was like fine, whatever. I grabbed the cup from him and he's staring all lecherously, I said get out, this is bad enough, no way are you watching me pee into a big gulp. So he closed the door, when I was finished I asked what do I do with it? And he, I guess in his flustered state, opened up the window(from second floor) and threw it out into the cold, wintery night right on his porch...His mother heard it and opened up the door and I was dying thinking about this pee steaming off the ice. She yelled up asking what the noise was, don't remember what he said. She went to bed soon after, I had to go down the stairs and outside with no shoes on until I got to the gangway because they were heels and she'd hear him. Definitely didn't see him again after that, nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 The foot fetish guy. Nice profile, all normal initial chit chat. Then came the "so do you have nice feet?" and went quickly downhill from there. Blocked him. Years and an a very long ltr later, the very first message to pop on OLD..."so do you have nice feet?" - the same foot fetish guy. Roll eyes, block. The way I learned to block the instant chat system on Match. Guy pops up, ok profile, normal basic social chit chat, then he turns on live stream video of himself. Stark nekkid and masturbating......he said he just woke up....before I managed to find the block/delete/omg what just happened/can this be nuked button. Fortunately, in between the complete nut jobs, there were more than plenty of good, sane, decent guys and great dates. Kind of felt like I had to add that so people don't think that all dating is just completely unhinged and crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheetarah Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Well, this one is just sad. I got set up with a guy by a friend when I was perhaps around 19. Totally blind date thing, no pictures exchange(I think at that time, having a scanner was more of a rarity than not). So we met at a casual diner. Trying to figure out who the other was based on descriptions. I wish he had never come up to me, but he did...He said he'd be right back, forgot something in the car. Naive and hopeful me sat there about 30 minutes before I realized he wasn't coming back. Ate my feelings when I got home. That stunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Well, this one is just sad. I got set up with a guy by a friend when I was perhaps around 19. Totally blind date thing, no pictures exchange(I think at that time, having a scanner was more of a rarity than not). So we met at a casual diner. Trying to figure out who the other was based on descriptions. I wish he had never come up to me, but he did...He said he'd be right back, forgot something in the car. Naive and hopeful me sat there about 30 minutes before I realized he wasn't coming back. Ate my feelings when I got home. That stunk. A guy I used to date told me he did something similar. He was (allegedly) set up with a woman for a date. He told me they went to a couple of places, but she kept saying she was bored and wanted to go somewhere else. She then suggested they go to her house. He told me she got out of his car and he told her he needed to find something in his car but that she should go ahead inside. He then started up his car and took off. However, this guy was in his 40s and should have been a grown up about it. This same guy would ogle women's breasts and make comments like "Wow, look at that big (breasted) one ( but he used a slang term for breasts that starts with the letter 't') while we were out together. He also told me that if any woman wanted to have sex with him he was "up for it" as long as she didn't have any diseases. He also described in detail his use of prostitutes while he was in the military, and how cool it was to be able to "buy a girl" in exchange for a carton of cigarettes. Yep, this guy was a real prince. He was shocked when I dumped him lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WonderfulLife Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 A guy asked me to go bed shopping on a second date. I went just for the sake of having a funny story. The saleswoman kept talking to me about what I was looking for in a bed, etc. It was hilarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted January 5, 2016 Author Share Posted January 5, 2016 Oh gosh chetarah, your first story, I nearly fell off my chair laughing. Peeing in a big gulp 😂😂 But your second story, sob how sad what a douche. Seriously I've been on dates on guys I didn't like or think were attractive and you're already there so why not make the most of it and at least be polite. Rude. Jerk. My ex told me he did something similar. Some girl he went on a date with , she started talking about how she wanted an apt in the upper west side etc. so when she got up to leave to the bathroom, he threw some money on the table and bolted. Rude Imo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misssmithviii Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 These are awesome! One of my worst dating experiences was in community college before I transferred to uni. There was this attractive guy who really wanted to take me out so I thought oh sure why not, he's smart and charming I'll go for it. Well it turns out when we were finally sitting to eat, he thought the exact same thing about himself. The ENTIRE date was him talking about himself, how smart he is, how he's "going places" and how I should feel lucky he chose me to go out with instead of all the other girls fawning over him... I found it so amusing I was literally laughing the whole time at his stories that were so obviously beefed up, but I think he thought I was actually impressed/interested. I actually tried opening the conversation up by asking questions that could easily be turned around as re-asked to me... Never happened. Took my food to go, and wrapped that date up ASAP. Funniest date I went on? This other guy I met in community college invited me over to his place to hang out, watch a movie and have something to eat. It sounded like a nice hangout with a recent friend so I said sure. When we got there, he had gotten his ridiculously talented younger brother (who was like 13 at the time) to play a piano accompaniment to himself on an acoustic guitar (also ridiculously talented) - and they proceeded to serenade me in their living room. The guy had a fantastic voice too I was shocked but still just sitting there like what the heck is going on?! Haha It was hilarious in a nice way but hilarious nonetheless. Points for creativity, talent and surprise factor but that was the first and last time we hung out. > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 This happened to my sister...she was out, met a great guy..he asked and got her phone number. For 3 days, all she could talk about was "Bill". He shows up to take her out, she not ready so I answer the door and make some small talk. She comes downstairs and walks over to us and says"M, did you meet ????" Into the awkward silence I said "His name is Bill. Real smooth sister!" And with that they left on their date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I "met" a guy online who did the same thing. He was a firefighter and all he did was talk about himself and how awesome he was. I mentioned hurricane Katrina(of course he jumped in to say he had been there), I mentioned 9/11 ( he hadn't been there but had done something else just as heroic) and every time I tried to tell him something about myself he changed the subject back to his awesomeness. He also said he had just joined the dating site a week earlier, had been on 5 dates, and was disgusted because all the women had been fat. After about 5 days I blocked him from chat. He then emailed me asking where I had been! Guess he though I would want to meet him in person after that fantastic buildup lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I once had dinner with a guy who told me that if we started dating that I would have to meet his ex as she was his best friend & she had to approve any women he dated. I put my share of the bill on the table & wished him well. Lolol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Since I did OLD for a few years when single, I have many. The worst was a guy who had a huge growth on his neck, and kept sniffing, since he said he had a deviated septum. He couldn't figure out why Customs would always stop him at the Canadian border when he visited friends. Then, there was a Greek guy who only slept 4 hours a night. He wrote a book about the Greek History of Motorcycles, and I did see the box of recently published books, so he was interesting but not good bf material. I ate a delicious dinner he made at his 2nd story apartment. He owned a Greek catering business. When it was time for me to leave, I asked, "Are you going to walk me to my car?" He said, "Why?" I said, "For safety reasons. American men walk women to their cars." He said, "If I thought you were going to be attacked, I'd get out my arsenal." As I walked to my car alone, I conjured the ridiculous image of me being attacked, and him shooting the perpetrator in the back with a bow and arrow from the top balcony. To end on a good note, I have a sweet memory of someone I never met. A guy from Hawaii contacted me. I told him I didn't go for long distance, but since cell phone calls were free on the weekends, we decided to talk just once. He put it in on speaker and played the ukulele and sang a song for me called, "The Happy Song," and it did, for that moment, make me very happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youareworthy Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 Every May I go with a single's group on a swanky evening cruise on the picturesque rivers of my town. The ship offers courteous service, a great dinner, and dancing. On deck you can watch the sunset, feel the spray, and see the reflections of spectacularly-lit waterfront buildings. The first time I'm on this cruise, a very tall forty-something guy comes up and says, "HelloI'mMikeI'magradstudentat(well-known local university)." That's the intro to a 25-minute monologue about the PhD he's been working on for 15 years at three different universities with 4 different professors, all of whom wouldn't support the thesis of his dissertation, because none of them is smart enough to see what he is researching, or because they were lying to him, yada, yada, yada. Though he "patiently" explains the topic of the dissertation to me, I'm still struggling to comprehend it, when he nonchalantly mentions he's just published a book the previous year. My ears perk up because I'm a librarian/book reviewer in my state, and have had dealings with some great authors and great presses. At last, a glimmer of a connection! I ask the name of the press. He trots out a company name I've never heard of. I ask if the publisher has offices in NYC, and eventually, with both truculence and hesitation, he mumbles that it's a online self-publisher. This particular outfit has no real editorial staff, no subject experts vetting the content--in short, it's not a legitimate press. It's a glorified word-processing company who would publish your name written backwards 3,000 times as long as you paid them enough to churn out the paperback copies. Of course I've been trying to break in to say that I'm wanted at my table, or that he'd just caught me when I was headed for some more juice. I'm gradually backing farther and farther away from him, and when someone crosses the ever-widening space between us (Hallelujah!), I turn and practically run to my table. What a colossal waste of time! He had not asked me ONE THING about me in that entire 25 minutes. He didn't even look at the name on the tag plastered to my dress, though there are a couple of incentives for looking at a woman's name tag... The three other women at my table turn out to be funny and sympatica. We all dance as a group, and I end up having fun. The next year, same venue, same sponsor, I recognize this tall forties-ish guy immediately. As he approaches, I say, "Hi Mi..." but he is already saying, "HelloI'mMikeI'magradstudentat(well-known local university)." OMG! He is like a narcissistic automaton! I remind him that we met last year, and he is startled. He is so focused on Mike that the women he speaks to are all anonymous blanks. Again that evening, the best people I meet are the women with whom I'm seated! Now it's my kids' joke that when I dress up in May and tell them I'm going on the cruise, they say, "OK. Have fun meeting cool women friends tonight, Mom!" LOL. Four years later, at another activity of the group, I turn away from the buffet towards my table, and Mike is about 8 feet from me. He sees that I'm a newcomer to these events (he's sure i must be...). He strides up and says, "HelloI'mMikeI'magradstudentat...." I turn and walk away. Ten minutes later, I hear him approaching a woman nearby, saying, "HelloI'mMikeI'magrad....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 So Mike's been working on his PhD for almost 20 years??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
youareworthy Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Apparently...! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 Apparently...! That's ok, I know a guy who tells women he's a race car driver when the truth is he drove one ONCE in a practice session. I took one flying lesson, so I guess I can tell men I'm a pilot!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 I was out on a date with a guy in his '50s. He had a briefcase with him which he had put on the table. I hadn't thought anything about it, I thought maybe it was because he had just come to the date after work. Suddenly, a beeping sound starts coming from the briefcase. He opens it and takes out...an alarm clock. I said something like 'what's that? were you afraid I'd be so boring, you'd need something to wake you up?'...and he goes 'no, it's time for my pills'. Apparently, he had had heart surgery a few months ago (he hadn't told me about it before the date) and was pn medication. To this day, I still remember that beeping sound and how all the heads in the cafe turned and looked at our direction (it was a very quiet cafe)..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted January 6, 2016 Share Posted January 6, 2016 I have had some winners thats for sure. I met a guy on OLD - he was younger then me by about 10 years. His profile was cool and we chatted online and then took it to text and phone. His profile said he was in forensic's. He said he was a chef for years too and that he knew how to cook anything. I met him at a park for our first meeting - He immediately started touching me, putting his arms around me and acting like we knew each other well, trying to kiss me and hold my hand, play with my hair. I was sitting on a bench and he comes behind me and starts grinding on me. He had bad breath and I was creeped out. So I keep my distance and tell him its too soon to be touching each other as I barely knew him. During the meeting I find out that he doesn't work, he cooked for Corral restaurant, does not know what forensics is, doesn't have a car and is probably on disability or social security or something. He asked me to drive him home since he didn't have a car. I did it, but after thinking about it, I should of said NO. I drop him off and cannot wait to get far away from him. I think I was with him for a total of 45 minutes and that was way to long. YUCK. He text me later that day to chat - I tell him that it was nice to meet him, but we aren't compatible and hope he finds what he is looking for. He gets angry and says I led him on, etc. Wouldn't stop contacting me, so I had to block him. He eventually appologized on OLD chat and then asks me if I have any single friends he could meet. Like I would do that to any of my friends. LOL Another OLD experience Met a guy for a drink at a local restaurant - all is going really well and I feel chemistry with this guy. He was open, etc, but did talk a bit too much about his X wife. I decide to go out with him again, so he plans to take me to the City and show me some ocean music thing. I ask him if we will be hiking, he says no, just a short walk and to wear comfortable shoes. I get a picnic lunch together, and we head off in my car. I let him drive because he knows where he is going. Way to trusting, again never again. LOL We arrive to our destination and I have the lunch, blanket, etc for a picnic. I dressed warm because it was a bit chilly. We eat and talk, he again talks way too much about his X again very derogatory too. We start the walk to the music thing and it ends up that it was a really long hike. Im sweating and overdressed and not all all prepared for a hike. He is checking out every women out there as they walk by. Everything I say, he has a solution for, and is acting like my father. It was awful. I just got the feeling that I needed to leave, something was not right - not sure how to explain it. I couldn't wait to get home. I drop him off and get home - I don't hear from him for a day or two, and I am relieved because I don't have to say, I don't want to see him again. He texts me with red roses on the third day after our date and I have to tell him that I am not interested in seeing him again. At least he was nice about it. WHEW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted January 6, 2016 Author Share Posted January 6, 2016 Lol! I've never understood why people think it's just okay to start touching you. I've noticed it so much lately, everywhere. Happens way too much. Like...did I give you any sort of signal or vibe? Ugh, don't touch me. Respect the bubble haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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