jbone1973 Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 I split with my x about a month ago. I had to break up with her because for some reason she seems to cause me massive amounts of anxiety and I could never sleep with her. I have been good and stayed away buy she still seems to have a massive hold on me. She still calls me and texts me and knows how to upset me. She knows I still care about her and love her so she will call me making out she has problems because I always come running to try and help her. After a year together and spending all our time together I find it so hard not to help her when she needs it and its my nature to help people when they need it. I think she has made up stuff just to get me on the phone so she can try and manipulate me. Problem is that when she gets upset it really upsets me as well as I have seeing her hurting. She recently called me and told me that we were meant to be together and that she will not accept that it's finished and she wants me to marry her and move in. This really messes with my head as I really do love her but I'm to scared to get back with her because I'm worried I'll end up anxious again and not sleeping and it messed up my life for nearly a year. When I'm on my own I'm loanly and miss her but at least I can sleep at night. Since becoming single I have had allot of attention from other women but have distanced myself from them as I still wouldn't want to upset my x and I will be gutted when she starts seeing other people. I seem to be finding it hard to move on and i keep thinking that maybe I should get back with her although I can't help thinking it will be a mistake. She is so persuasive that she almost changes my mind all the time. I do have counselling coming up soon and she thinks that we can get back together afterwards as I will not get jealous any more. Im really not sure what to think, Am I giving up the love of my life or should I stay away and find someone new. I'm so messed ion the head it's crazy. I know if I was a friend looking in from the outside I would tell me to stay away but it's so hard when you love someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Lack of sleep will kill you. I would avoid anyone who trys to manipulate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waraqqa Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I don't know how it works for you, and everyone is different, but I can understand the anxiety and not sleeping thing. With my last ex, loooong before I could sum up and mentally/intellectually process the little signs and flags and understand he is not the one for me, my first "symptoms" of unease were these unconscious anxiety and sleep issues. As if my body knew before I knew. Some people are made that way that their own bodies won't allow them to do something, even if the mind is confused and lenient enough to do it. Maybe that's how instinct works, I don't know. I can also relate how someone can be very persuasive, and it does mess with your head - even if in your guts you know what you should and should not do, the person's verbal stuff can be difficult to counterargue, especially if you are not good with words on the spot (that happened to me). And mind is so volatile - if you listen to your mind, it might say one thing in the morning, another at night and so on. Not reliable. If you have a strong intuitive feeling and something just feels wrong, follow the intuition. You know yourself better than anyone else, better than she does, even better than anyone of us here on the forum. Is there a way to limit the contact to something very basic and limited to bare politeness? Possibly move or go away on a long trip/stay somewhere? Eventually one or both of you is going to start having to date someone else, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 If you are not in contact, you will not be able to move on. I suggest blocking and deleting all contact info. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 I meant, you will be able to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbone1973 Posted January 6, 2016 Author Share Posted January 6, 2016 Thanks. I will be gutted when she starts seeing someone else but it is for the best and I think we both need it to move on. I am in no way ready to see anyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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