jbone1973 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Hi everyone, I hope you all have a great Christmas and new year and hope your feeling happier than me. I split with my x three weeks ago but we have broke up lots of times before. She has messaged me every other day and said she still wants me back but has given up begging. I had to go and see her last night to take her stuff back and was fine. We talked for about 30 mins and I even helped her with some some stuff around her house and wished her kids happy Christmas. It was very strange and felt like we haven't even broke up. When I went to leave she asked for a hug. I was fine until that moment but that one hug brought back a million memories and emotions and I couldn't hold back the tears and had to leave before I made a fool of myself. Since breaking with her I have been an anxious wreck and feeling depressed which I don't think has been helped by starting a new job a month ago. I always thought my x was a major cause of my anxiety and stress but now I'm wondering if it is all me. I not short of offers from other women and since being single have had a few girls I dated a long time ago coming out the wood work asking for a date but I'm not interested in any one. I can't imagine being intimate with anyone else. I still find it very strange that it was me that finished it with my x because I didn't feel that she was good for me and always had a bad gut feeling about her but yet I'm pinning after her like a lost puppy. Please tell me this gets easier. Why do these things always seem to happen around Christmas. Last Christmas we Broke up as well after I found she had been with someone else and I made the mistake of taking her back. That's not gone happen again this time. Sorry for the rambling message. Just think I needed to get this of my chest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrianH46 Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 It definitely does man, just hang in there and take it day by day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoF Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Can? No, it DOES by default. As it should. Stay no contact with her. Contact = her way of pulling you back OR preventing you from ever healing. There is no friendship/NOTHING. It's over. Time to block/ignore her and ask her to never reach out to you again. Give it 3-6 months at least to heal/recover. Remember, any contact = reset of your healing time. And stay completely away from opposite sex during this time! Stay active and do lot of physical activity. Great mental boost. Healthy diet helps a lot too! When thoughts of her come up, divert them. And don't forget, you dodged a bullet and liberated yourself from a unhealthy person/cheater. Should feel great if anything! Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbone1973 Posted December 24, 2015 Author Share Posted December 24, 2015 That's for your replies. It's good to hear that this is natural and I'm not going crazy. Haven't felt emotional pain like this since I was in my twenties so had forgotten what it feels like. Didn't even feel like this when I got divorced. This site is a god send. It's so nice to be able to talk about stuff like this with people that understand. Can? No, it DOES by default. As it should. Stay no contact with her. Contact = her way of pulling you back OR preventing you from ever healing. There is no friendship/NOTHING. It's over. Time to block/ignore her and ask her to never reach out to you again. Give it 3-6 months at least to heal/recover. Remember, any contact = reset of your healing time. And stay completely away from opposite sex during this time! Stay active and do lot of physical activity. Great mental boost. Healthy diet helps a lot too! When thoughts of her come up, divert them. And don't forget, you dodged a bullet and liberated yourself from a unhealthy person/cheater. Should feel great if anything! Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kudos Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Yes! I had to have time off work it got so bad, not straight away but about 2 -3 months later when everything hit me hard. At first I was absolutely gutted but kept busy sure that he would come back. He never did. He was happy with her. Seeing them together is what hit me hardest and pushed me over the edge. I couldn't get out of bed, I was crying constantly. But almost 5 months since the break up im good. I'm a better person. I've found myself again. I'm looking forward to the future. But even now I have bad days sometimes, but I'm getting there. You will be ok. X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evam Posted December 24, 2015 Share Posted December 24, 2015 Yes totally normal, I believe they are called "situational depression". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHeard Posted December 25, 2015 Share Posted December 25, 2015 What Evam said. Some need counseling and medication, and some just refocus and let time do its thing. I wish I could have been the latter, but most of us fair ok in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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