Question #2

[fantasia2004]

Well,

we are constantly on this website for advice on how to heal, and deal, get angry, cry, reinvent and move on.

 

But what I want to know is why and what is the reason for if you break up with someone they usually or you might sometimes get back or go back to your ex even though you wanted nothing to do with them?

 

Some exes are bad news dysfunctional yet you return to them?

 

Why? Make sense of this please?

[MetallicAguy]

Because there's something usually special about your ex-relationship with that person. And that person tends to not find that connection with anyone else he knows or is currently dating. Or can't get a date with anyone else on the worst terms lol.

[fantasia2004]

Yeah,

 

but I am talking about I want nothing to do with you I would not date you if my life depended on it.

 

Type of feelings years pat lovers past We brow up change and yet people still?

 

Would you ever come back to your ex ?

 

After everything that has past?

[cassiana]

I would love to get back with one ex and would consider another. The rest I would never ever date again. I suppose its like car shopping. You need to test drive a few and then go back and get the one you like the best. Maybe you exs are doing the same.

[raggamuffin]

I would never ever in a million years get together with my ex. We had a great relationship. But it ended for a reason. I know sometimes it is easy to see all the good things in a relationship after it has ended, but remember bad stuff must of happened or it wouldnt have ended.

 

Although there was a time when i would have got back with my ex, but I think that means that you havent fully healed and moved on yet. This is just my opinion i know others will see it differently.

[shes2smart]

Because change is basically scary. While things might've been bad with an ex, at least you know what to expect...it's familiar. Even if something is bad, if it's familiar there is a level of comfort with it that isn't there with something unknown. Someone new might be better...then again they might be worse.

 

Those of us here today evolved from previous humans who were good at spotting danger (and potential danger) in their environment early on. Any new changes in the environment could be potentially dangerous and those who noted those changes sooner had a better chance of minimizing the danger. Humans who were not adept at this didn't get to hang around long enough to procreate. They ended up being some critter's dinner or the victim of an accident. Most of us have a built-in propensity to expect the worst and fear change. We can learn how to get over it and embrace change. I strongly recommend this course of action, because, in life, change really is the only constant.

 

Why the urge to go back to even a really bad ex? Simply put: The crap you know seems better than the crap you don't know.

[cassiana]

What if the reason you broke up with your ex was circumstantial. For example he was going off to war and he didn't want you waiting and worying. My ex got sick.

[raggamuffin]

If it is a circumstantial reason then prehaps there is a good reason to go back. However, arent relationships about going through the hardtimes together? Isnt that how couples evolve? You dont just break up or take a break when things start to get difficult and then when the difficulty is over just rekindle (Maybe you do, but I wouldnt). If I was with someone who went off to war and they broke up with me, it wouldnt stop me from worrying and waiting. What is the point of being with someone if you break up when things get really difficult? Things are always bound to get difficult is some way or another.

[cassiana]

I agree. He got sick and broke up with me. I'm still worrying and waiting. I would have gone through it with him, but he wanted to be a man in our relationship and doesn't sit well with weakness and illness. He may want me to admire him, not pity him.