confideinme Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 After 2 years, I had a read of all my old journals. Safe to say I shed a tear and a smile on each post. I loved the nostalgia it gave me on good memories and how it reminded how much I've learnt and grown, I had loss, heartache, abuse and love. I could hear myself in my head as I read 'Silly you, look where you are now?' I never pictured my life so perfect as what it is now. This time last year I broke up from an abusive ex boyfriend, since then I have made a warm, safe home.... with a wonderful caring partner. A brilliant well paid career within the Health Service, I see my friends more, and my family more. I just need to learn to relax Not going to lie, I still now and again think I'm worthless, sometimes I feel remorse guilt and I can never pin point to exactly why. Some days I sit at home watching box sets of Sex and the City while eating copious amounts of peanut butter bagels, and I feel bad, really really bad about doing this things. I work hard full time, so why can't I accept that.. 'Yeah, it's alright to stay in your nightgown all day, it's alright to have some you time' As happy as I am, I still have alot of mind baggage, and I'm hoping to express most of it in here and in another few years to come shed love and tears for these posts. Tonight - my mother and her new partner are coming round for tea, I have my works cut out, chicken casserole with roasted vegetables! Then a yoga session, oh yes, lot's of mentions of my weight loss journey attempt 39237384. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confideinme Posted November 6, 2015 Author Share Posted November 6, 2015 Today is pretty much nothing but grey and wet. I went for a walk with some meditation music on, Spotify have brilliant playlists for any mood. Highly recommend that app! Obviously the floor is nothing but covered with yellow/orange and brown leaves and it's so magic. I love this weather, this season and the rain. Always made me feel calm and warm inside. It makes me appreciate hot baths and the warmth of a jumper even more. Today I also weighed myself, bad idea, I feel a little disgusted in putting nearly half a stone on. Seriously need to get my game on and make a plan. I'm off to a bonfire party at a friends tonight, them potatoes wedges and meat pies are being avoided. Period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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