My dating blog...

[Jacksonv]

Girlfriend left me 5 months ago and immediately jumped into new relationship with mutual friend. Tried to get her back for 4 months. Didn't work, her and the new guy are in love apparently.

 

Going to log my dating adventures in here. Honestly I hate dating.

 

Thought she was the one I would marry as she told me I was the "man of her dreams" and "she new from the moment she saw me that we would get married". That changed to her falling out of love and knowing that it just wouldn't work. She used to send me pictures of rings and talk to my family about where we would get married. We lived together for 10 months and I was arrogant and thought she would never leave.

 

In the end sex died out and I didn't give her attention. I was also very critical and always tried to push her to change. Bad move and when it ended I tried to show her I was willing to change and work on things. But "it was too late", her feelings were gone and that was that.

 

I'm 33 she is 23 and going off to uni (I'm in school too).

[Jacksonv]

Went on a date with girl used to have a big crush on. It was great but my feelings weren't really there for her. She moved to Germany and we still keep in touch. She really likes me but I'm not into LDRs.

[Jacksonv]

Saw a girl in first day of class. Very pretty, sat next to her and could tell she liked me. Got her number and texted a bunch. Found out she was 19... No good.. Next. She sees me talking to other girls in class and stopped texting me. Ok next...

[Jacksonv]

Cute girl in same class asks me to help her in library. Can tell she likes me but I'm just in a funk from the ex. Didn't. Really do much. This is the girl that the girl from above got mad about.

[Jacksonv]

In a different class. Started talking to this cute girl, after several convos I got her number. She texts me, we go on date. I have a few too many and talk about the ex.

 

She calls me a "wet piece of bread" and says "no one likes a wet piece of bread". I end up calling her a c#nt she gets super offended and leaves. I apologize. We still talk in class sometimes. I really don't have any interest in her anymore. She acts likes she is superior and it's such a turn off.

[sargon]

Stop dating until you get over your ex.

 

It's not fair to these girls you meet.

 

It's not even fair to you.

[DoF]

Agreed with above.

 

Read up and learn about relationship process. I always recommend 5 love languages as a great start.

 

You need to take 3-6 months to heal. During this time, stay completely separate from Opposite sex.

[Jacksonv]

I know I relaized this and stopped going on dates. But I'm still going to log what's happened up to this point.

[Jacksonv]

Girl I dated a while back broke up with her boyfriend. We hang out a bunch of times and complain about our exs together. Not feeling attraction and she won't stop trying to get in my pants. Literally keeps trying to take my pants off.

 

I just want to hang out and chill. She stopped texting me and is mad cause she needs sex. She is pretty but I just don't feel the sex drive with her.

[Jacksonv]

Made a female friend in class over the summer. Very cool chick and really helped me with the ex issue. Didn't see her after summer and left a note on her car last day saying it was really nice to make a new friend. I have no romantic interest in her as she has a Bf.

 

Anyways was sitting in class this semester and wouldn't ya know she just so happened to be sitting behind me. Strange, apparently we are supposed to be friends. So we are good friends in class and it's great!

[Jacksonv]

Another girl in the same class as the "new friend class from above" starts talking to me all the time. Cute, find out she's still in high school. Ahhh staying very far away.

 

Another very cute girl in this same class keeps coming up and talking to as well. I think I need some guy friends. Lol.

[Jacksonv]

Went on some dating sites, tinder and such. To be honest I can't stand girls on dating sites. All the pretty ones get a million messages so you have to put on some crazy game or wahtever to get their interest. (I know cause I made a bunch of female friends who do this)

 

Pretty much you have catch them right when they sign up and haven't been bombarded with a trillion messages yet. Then there are the old timers, girls who are pretty but been on the site for ages just looking for attention. Infact the majority of girls on these sites that are pretty are like this. I can't stand them, stuck up, self centered, think they are the most amazing thing ever. Just looking for attention all the time.

 

I want to meet someone who is sweet, humble, loves to joke around and not play these freaking power plays or mind games. I like you, you like me, ok great!!

 

Sorry for sounding so negative everyone, I'm actually a very upbeat and funny dude. Just been in a funk since the whole breakup.

[Jacksonv]

Plan moving forward here is.

 

1. Don't talk to ex at all anymore. (She keeps calling me randomly to "catch up"). Well that's so sweet of her, Riiiight. you have a boyfriend girl, leave me alone. Not to mention that she fights with her new boy friend about contacting me, and seeing me a couple weeks back. (I know cause I saw her yelling at him on the phone). Anywho, I need to stay away from her. It's only causing me more pain and not going anywhere at all.

 

2. Don't get numbers or go on dates till the new year. Need to lay low and heal.

 

3. Find my happiness again... Wherever it might be. I am feeling better now days. But man those first three months were absolutely brutal. Daaaaamn. It really was horrible.

 

4. Plan for the future, get things lined up, start dating again. Or at least doing my thing. Getting numbers really isn't an issue for me at all. I just assume every girl I talk to is in love with me and ya know what. It actually works. Haha.

[Man with Dog]

Disagree about one thing: Dating can help one get over an ex. It helps one focus that love doesn't begin and end with the most recent ex.

[DoF]

Girl I dated a while back broke up with her boyfriend. We hang out a bunch of times and complain about our exs together. Not feeling attraction and she won't stop trying to get in my pants. Literally keeps trying to take my pants off.

 

I just want to hang out and chill. She stopped texting me and is mad cause she needs sex. She is pretty but I just don't feel the sex drive with her.

 

Stay away from people that just got out of a relationship......or people that want your private parts only. Give them time to recover, and those that don't do that, stay away from, chances are they are NO GOOD!

[DoF]

Disagree about one thing: Dating can help one get over an ex. It helps one focus that love doesn't begin and end with the most recent ex.

 

This is simply your "instant gratification" talking. Sorry but no, in the short term it might, but long term, it will do more damage than good.

 

Do it right and do it the hard way is almost ALWAYS the right answer. Skipping steps, easy, instant results = bigger issues down the line.

 

I recommend against it. Some also fall what you described as "rug sweeping". Ignoring issues like they don't exist.

 

Problem with issues is that they are like snowball rolling down the hill. If you dont deal with it right away, it get bigger as it goes and crash at the end of the hill is worse.

[DoF]

Plan moving forward here is.

 

1. Don't talk to ex at all anymore. (She keeps calling me randomly to "catch up"). Well that's so sweet of her, Riiiight. you have a boyfriend girl, leave me alone. Not to mention that she fights with her new boy friend about contacting me, and seeing me a couple weeks back. (I know cause I saw her yelling at him on the phone). Anywho, I need to stay away from her. It's only causing me more pain and not going anywhere at all.

 

2. Don't get numbers or go on dates till the new year. Need to lay low and heal.

 

3. Find my happiness again... Wherever it might be. I am feeling better now days. But man those first three months were absolutely brutal. Daaaaamn. It really was horrible.

 

4. Plan for the future, get things lined up, start dating again. Or at least doing my thing. Getting numbers really isn't an issue for me at all. I just assume every girl I talk to is in love with me and ya know what. It actually works. Haha.

 

Sounds like a good plan.

 

Read up/learn about relationships as well. 5 love languages is a great start! Study it and read it few times!

[Man with Dog]

This is simply your "instant gratification" talking. Sorry but no, in the short term it might, but long term, it will do more damage than good.

 

Do it right and do it the hard way is almost ALWAYS the right answer. Skipping steps, easy, instant results = bigger issues down the line.

 

I recommend against it. Some also fall what you described as "rug sweeping". Ignoring issues like they don't exist.

 

Problem with issues is that they are like snowball rolling down the hill. If you dont deal with it right away, it get bigger as it goes and crash at the end of the hill is worse.

 

I haven't personally suffered any break-ups for about 30 years. The only thing that dating too early could have done is hissed off potential partners. In my case, I thought that when my first wife left, I was destined to spend the rest of my life on the shelf. Once I learned she was replaceable, I got over that part of being dumped. I think waiting years to date again (how long it took before the post break-up depression lifted) would have been counter-productive and I would have had no confidence. "Online" didn't exist in those days and computer dating and introduction agencies were taboo. You had to meet someone in real life or not at all.

[Man with Dog]

Stay away from people that just got out of a relationship......or people that want your private parts only. Give them time to recover, and those that don't do that, stay away from, chances are they are NO GOOD!

 

As long as they are honest about stuff it's OK. I could have done with a buck fuddy at one time in the past. If someone wants to date someone who is just out of a relationship or even still in one, it's up to them. I don't honestly believe these relationships have a much worse success rate than dating someone who hasn't been in a relationship for 6 months and isn't seeing anybody else. Most people you date will not lead to a long term relationship anyway.

 

Also when I dated soon after splitting, I didn't see any reason to protect those I was dating from me. If someone is prepared to date someone else and there's no lies involved, it should be OK.

[DoF]

As long as they are honest about stuff it's OK.

 

When you meet you don't trust them, EVER. So above is out the window. Trust has to be earned and it takes TIME!

 

 

I could have done with a buck fuddy at one time in the past. If someone wants to date someone who is just out of a relationship or even still in one, it's up to them. I don't honestly believe these relationships have a much worse success rate than dating someone who hasn't been in a relationship for 6 months and isn't seeing anybody else. Most people you date will not lead to a long term relationship anyway.

 

Also when I dated soon after splitting, I didn't see any reason to protect those I was dating from me. If someone is prepared to date someone else and there's no lies involved, it should be OK.

 

It's all about limiting your risk. I'm not saying it won't be ok, I'm just saying that chances are it won't be.

 

Taking proper steps prevents risk and set up for failure.

 

Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD!

[Man with Dog]

When you meet you don't trust them, EVER. So above is out the window. Trust has to be earned and it takes TIME!

 

 

 

 

It's all about limiting your risk. I'm not saying it won't be ok, I'm just saying that chances are it won't be.

 

Taking proper steps prevents risk and set up for failure.

 

Just because you CAN, doesn't mean you SHOULD!

 

I've seen plenty of relationships that started when one or both people were fresh out of a relationship or still in one that have stood the test of time. One example is me.