vanilla27 Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Would it be safer/more beneficial to just block him outright, or to say something to him about why I'm doing it/how much he's hurt me? With the latter he might spin it to put the blame on me, but with the former I worry he might find alternate ways to contact me due to wondering why I've suddenly done this. You are completely right, I know a lot of my friends would never have stood for any of it. Not only am I naïve, but have very low self worth. I plan to work on it and build myself up before even considering another relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 DO NOT CONTACT HIM! FOR ANY REASON! It makes no sense to contact someone to tell them you're not going to contact them! Just delete his number, contact your cell carrier to have his number blocked and then have his email address sent to spam. Delete and block from Facebook, Instagram and any other social media. There, done. And yes, seek counseling to find out why you feel so badly about yourself that you'd accept this behavior. Tell a friend too, that you don't want any contact from him, but that you fear you might cave in. Ask this friend if you can contact them when you're feeling lonely and are tempted to contact him. I'm sure your friend will be happy to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Part of me seems to believe that he might not be fully aware I still have an attachment towards him, You don't really believe it .... not deep down. You WANT to believe it.... but it doesn't matter which way you spin it he is a horrible person. There is nothing nice about this guy and all this stuff that is going on is not what solid relationships are built upon. It will never be that. Would it be safer/more beneficial to just block him outright, or to say something to him about why I'm doing it/how much he's hurt me? With the latter he might spin it to put the blame on me, but with the former I worry he might find alternate ways to contact me due to wondering why I've suddenly done this. Just do it. There is no point in wasting any more energy on this guy. If he tries to contact you, just ignore him. He will soon give up when he gets the message (ie. that you aren't going to let him use you anymore). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Would it be safer/more beneficial to just block him outright, or to say something to him about why I'm doing it/how much he's hurt me? With the latter he might spin it to put the blame on me, but with the former I worry he might find alternate ways to contact me due to wondering why I've suddenly done this. You are completely right, I know a lot of my friends would never have stood for any of it. Not only am I naïve, but have very low self worth. I plan to work on it and build myself up before even considering another relationship. HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU!!!! I don't know how many ways we can say it! Block him and never speak to him again!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanilla27 Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 Why does he treat women like this? I'm not the only one. Why doesn't he care? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Why does he treat women like this? I'm not the only one. Why doesn't he care? Some people just don't care .... and they do it simply because they can. You accept it, therefore it's OK to carry on. That's not to say that if you told him it really isn't acceptable he would change his actions. No, he will just move on to someone else who will put up with his poor treatment of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 Because he doesn't. Move on! Why are you interested in someone who treats you like crap? That's the important question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skyhop333 Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 You deserve so much better... firstly.. he's habitually unfaithful... secondly he is gaslighting you because you are aware of his misdeeds and he cant shift the blame. He kind of sounds like narcissistic on steroids.... What you may be feeling is unrequited love. Hes using you. You deserve so far much better. Don't give up hope as I was once in your shoes. Believe me. There is a better place at the end of the "go it alone" rainbow. You will find the right one. I may have done that myself. Letting go and moving on was the best thing I ever did... Sure it hurt... but.. I had someone tell me I deserved so much better.... Just start believing your worth... You'll have it in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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