reinventmyself Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I will not be going back to him. Where did I give that impression? There is one highly unlikely caveat where I might consider going back, but I'm not going to post it here for fear he might be reading this public forum and use that as a tool to consume me again. double negative. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Are you a romantic novelist???? You paint a very vivid picture of me looking like Little Bo Peep holding a teddy bear, and he very similar to a dirty old man version of Jack Nicholson in The Shining. LOL. Glad to see you have your sense of humour. Good for you, Naomi. You are kicking some butt standing up to Mr. Libido Kindling. I agree with the others who said that is as much you as him. Just think of all the great sex in front of you with someone who will love you. How amazing would that be? Seriously?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted July 6, 2015 Author Share Posted July 6, 2015 but I do think blocking him prevents a lot of future angst. Can't do it. That would be like missing the season finale cliffhanger of GOT. And most likely, I won't respond. And you all know by this 977-post thread I take my sweet old time…thinking about all my options and weighing them out. It is unlike me to make a hasty decision. You know this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted July 6, 2015 Author Share Posted July 6, 2015 I will not be going back to him. Where did I give that impression? There is one highly unlikely caveat where I might consider going back, but I'm not going to post it here for fear he might be reading this public forum and use that as a tool to consume me again. double negative. . Okay. You got me. I'll say 10 percent I might consider seeing him, but that's if and only if he says the one thing I want him to say. Highly unlikely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilyone 11 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I I will promise you 100 percent I will not initiate contact. No, not even for Latisse. . ROFL. You are so funny. Glad you managed to keep your sense of humor through all of this. You are really a remarkable woman Naomi. Any man would be lucky to have you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East4 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Are you a romantic novelist???? You paint a very vivid picture of me looking like Little Bo Peep holding a teddy bear, and he very similar to a dirty old man version of Jack Nicholson in The Shining. I believe in your intellect, Naomi. This is what kept you aflot thus far. And brought you to this discussion forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East4 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Okay. You got me. I'll say 10 percent I might consider seeing him, but that's if and only if he says the one thing I want him to say. Highly unlikely. He may say many things, Naomi, but only Little Bo Peep holding a teddy bear would believe it ;-). Naomi looks at his actions, because she's sssssmart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I'm guessing "I love you" may be the kicker? And I'm guessing somewhere in your conversation with him you may have suggested you'd stay if he said it and meant it. OR...I could be wrong. You are responding here in a feisty manner. Which I find to be very reassuring. I like Feisty Naomi. Feisty Naomi is like John Wayne Toilet Paper..."I ain't gonna take no sh*t". (On the chance that will be edited out...Radio Edit: "I ain't gonna take no poop"). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Naomi...This is my favorite thread, it absolutely makes my day. Good luck, and You Go Girl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 He texted me back. "If you do find a serious boyfriend and desire for us to be friends in the future, I would be honored and very happy. I will leave that up to you to decide upon at some point and won't contact you anymore unless I hear from you. take care." I'm feeling very weak right now and want to take a sleeping pill and forget about this whole thing. I'm going to start bawling any moment. I need help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Wow. It just hit me that I will never see him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 It's ok. You did the right thing. Yes, it hurts. You knew it would. Please remember that he is not ever going to give you anything other than sex and companionship...both of which are so much more valuable and pleasurable when the person who gives you those things also gives you his heart and welcomes you into all aspects of his life. Wishing you the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 I am crying harder right now than I was last night. Don't respond, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I am crying harder right now than I was last night. Don't respond, right? stay strong!! hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 No response needed. You asked him not to contact you again. If you respond, there goes your request right out the window. He'll know he has you back and will start with the "let's hang out as 'friends'" thing right off the bat. Probably tonight. Then, you're back. You can do this. You CAN do this! Maybe put your phone where you can't see it? Turn it off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 No. I have dozens of friends texting me right now about this situation. I'm strong enough. And too much pride. I won't respond. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Good for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 He texted me back. "If you do find a serious boyfriend and desire for us to be friends in the future, I would be honored and very happy. I will leave that up to you to decide upon at some point and won't contact you anymore unless I hear from you. take care." Told you he was a gentleman. I feel like I just met the most charming and seductive man on vacation, had a sparkling whirlwind romance, and he got on his plane and I got on mine, and we will never see each other again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East4 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Wow. It just hit me that I will never see him again. Stay strong, Naomi! You hit the hardest part, but you are strong enough to handle it. Remember: HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU! BUT YOU LOVE YOURSELF! You did the right thing, though it may not look like that now. Just stay focused to go through thd day, one day at the time. At least he didn't mislead you with promises for a relationship. Big hugs to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 A gentleman who wouldn't even do you the basic courtesy of parking his vehicle a few feet over so you wouldn't have to schlep up a hill with groceries. A gentleman who had no problem with you driving a decent distance home alone at an ungodly hour after you just made him dinner and gave him sex. Nope, not buying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilyone 11 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Told you he was a gentleman. I feel like I just met the most charming and seductive man on vacation, had a sparkling whirlwind romance, and he got on his plane and I got on mine, and we will never see each other again. Yes, his response was perfect as I would have expected from the way you've described him. He probably thought about it all day. He wanted to leave the door open for you to change your mind as he hopes you will (you did before right?). I would not respond. This firmness from him was totally predictable. Even if he wanted to see you to talk about it, trust me it wouldn't have been to tell you he'll change, but to sweet talk you into keeping the status quo. There is a chance he will change after experiencing the total loss of you for 2-3 months. He will experience massive pain in about 4-6 weeks. Men process the emotional pain of a break-up much differently. However, you should move on as if you will never see him again. Hugs to you Naomi. Stay strong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toolovehim Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Told you he was a gentleman. I feel like I just met the most charming and seductive man on vacation, had a sparkling whirlwind romance, and he got on his plane and I got on mine, and we will never see each other again. But, he still chose to let you go, he risks you meeting someone, he risks never seeing you again, he risks it all with regards to you, yet he still chose to let you go. All you have done for him, all of your tears, everything you did for him with your heart, still not good enough, still not worth to him to want you stay. You deserve a man who will fight for you to keep you in his arm and appreciate you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naomi99 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Yes, his response was perfect as I would have expected from the way you've described him. He probably thought about it all day. He wanted to leave the door open for you to change your mind as he hopes you will (you did before right?). I would not respond. This firmness from him was totally predictable. Even if he wanted to see you to talk about it, trust me it wouldn't have been to tell you he'll change, but to sweet talk you into keeping the status quo. There is a chance he will change after experiencing the total loss of you for 2-3 months. He will experience massive pain in about 4-6 weeks. Men process the emotional pain of a break-up much differently. However, you should move on as if you will never see him again. Hugs to you Naomi. Stay strong. He won't change. He won't get depressed or feel massive pain. He has purposely kept me at a distance so it's impossible to form any type of attachment to me. I have no pull. He set it up this way specifically to avoid any progression of a bond ...All so he can walk away easily with zero tears when the woman frustrates and ends it. I see it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 He won't change. He won't get depressed or feel massive pain. He has purposely kept me at a distance so it's impossible to form any type of attachment to me. I have no pull. He set it up this way specifically to avoid any progression of a bond All so he can walk away easily when the woman frustrates and ends it. I see it now. Well, both of you set it up that way it seems in the beginning. In the future, you'll hopefully speak up for what you want sooner. Best of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East4 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 He won't change. He won't get depressed or feel massive pain. He has purposely kept me at a distance so it's impossible to form any type of attachment to me. I have no pull. He set it up this way specifically to avoid any progression of a bond ...All so he can walk away easily with zero tears when the woman frustrates and ends it. I see it now. I disagree. You have more pull on him, than you think, Naomi. Go read his response text again, he is subtly leaving the door open ".... i won't contact you, unless you contact me first." He is hoping that his cold response will throw you off balance and you will lose your resolve and text him again, which will lead to him texting you back, and so on and so forth until you are sucked back in again. I totally agree with wilyone, he is yet to experience the total loss of you and nobody knows what he would do at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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