Brokenheart99 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 So I met a guy via some dating site-he lives in another state but that might not be an issue if we work out bc one of us can move. We had just been emailing last few weeks, short, superficial. Anyway I happened to be vacationing where he lives soon and asked if he wanted to meet up, he said sure but also that he wanted to FaceTime/video chat first. So, this past Thursday night we face timed, it was good(I thought at least), he seemed normal and chatty. After an hour he said he had to go and thanked me for trying something out of my comfort zone. And I haven't heard from him since then. It's Saturday today. Is it usually guys who should message first after situations like this? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I thought they should. Is he just not interested? Don't most guys usually say something about being in contact again if they want to continue it? Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misskitty16 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I would give it until Sunday night. If you want to scare him away, feel free to contact him. Men may say that like that, but in my experience, it backfires. If you don't hear from by Sunday, I would assume the interest is not there. For what it's worth, LDR's are a slippery slope. Be careful and try to also meet local people. They are your best chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Why would you enter into a difficult LDR when you don't have to? Stick to 50 miles within your location. It's cheaper, you can get to really know a person gradually over time, and you actually get to be with the person 3D. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I would say that he's not interested and no point in messaging him first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 Andrina-That wasn't really answering my question, but thanks for the advice. It's not always easy to find someone close to your proximity and I am open to meeting people who live further. Misskitty-I agree with you, I've had similar experiences where contacting guys first just makes you seem too eager. It's like they lose respect or value for you If you contact them first. Like, they like pursuing. I don't know, since this wasn't an official date, I guess I was curious. That being said, any thoughts on my original post? Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misskitty16 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Andrina-That wasn't really answering my question, but thanks for the advice. It's not always easy to find someone close to your proximity and I am open to meeting people who live further. Misskitty-I agree with you, I've had similar experiences where contacting guys first just makes you seem too eager. It's like they lose respect or value for you If you contact them first. Like, they like pursuing. I don't know, since this wasn't an official date, I guess I was curious. That being said, any thoughts on my original post? Thanks I would say the interest is not there, or is not strong if your last contact was Thursday night. With that being said, you certainly may still hear from him, but I wouldn't hold my hopes too high for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I'm with Adrina. You're just making it more difficult for yourself. I'm curious, did you already have plans to travel to that area, before meeting him online? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 I think it's his turn to contact but nothing to do with dating -he is a stranger you might meet in person but it sounds like since you agreed to face time he should contact next. Once you meet in person it's better if you let him ask you out on the first real date IMO but at this stage it's just two strangers chatting to see if they should meet in person. If you do contact again I'd make a plan to meet in person ASAP whether he suggests it or you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 Yeah I was planning the vacation long before I met him. You all are right, I don't gather he is much interested so I guess on to the next. in my crappy dating experience, when a guy is interested, he will contact you and make plans. So oh well, he may contact but like Misskitty said, i have no real hopes in it. People just shop around. Dating is so frustrating 😩 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misskitty16 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 Yeah I was planning the vacation long before I met him. You all are right, I don't gather he is much interested so I guess on to the next. in my crappy dating experience, when a guy is interested, he will contact you and make plans. So oh well, he may contact but like Misskitty said, i have no real hopes in it. People just shop around. Dating is so frustrating In my crapping dating experience, this has been the case, too. :subdued: For what it's worth, you are better off without a LDR. They can be incredibly painful and difficult. It is very hard to "compete" with locals, no matter how awesome the connection might be. At the end of the day, most people want someone they can see on a regular basis. I think they can work for a specific time frame, but not indefinitely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted April 4, 2015 Share Posted April 4, 2015 No one knows what most men do. There is speculation that men will often be the first. There are no rules. Being 'old fashion' and 'traditional' are the most bizarre and illogical reasons to base behaviour on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulTaker Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Who made first contact? Most people who contacted me from out of state just wanted to acknowledge that they liked my profile, and wanted to chat. Stating that long distance is not an issue because someone can move, is not realistic (people value their job, family/friends,...). I'm not saying that it can't work, but that it's a major hurdle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misskitty16 Posted April 6, 2015 Share Posted April 6, 2015 Who made first contact? Most people who contacted me from out of state just wanted to acknowledge that they liked my profile, and wanted to chat. Stating that long distance is not an issue because someone can move, is not realistic (people value their job, family/friends,...). I'm not saying that it can't work, but that it's a major hurdle. Agreed. I have been there, done that, and would never even consider doing it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H8Reality217 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 The guy always even though I may hate it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.